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[Kolnukbyne]

So there's this girl I've been interested in for a while, met her at a few parties and such, she's nice, intelligent, quite pretty and all that jazz- but regardless, I've been fairly interested in her, we've talked a bit over facebook (she poked me, and we all know what that means /end_sarcasm) and at the second party I'd met her at she seemed very keen to lock lips with me. Yeah, that happened for quite a while. But yeah, all of a sudden I see on facebook that she's in an 'Open relationship' with a fellow who is her best friend (and quite a good guy as well). From what other people have told me they've been on and off this kind of thing for a long while, I've also been told that it shouldn't really affect my chances too much... but I tend to err on the side of caution (and I'm certainly not the person to take social risks) and don't want to make an idiot of myself by being mistaken in this. I'm not madly in love with this girl or anything and I wouldn't be too worried if I couldn't go anywhere with her, but it's certainly a nice idea.

So what would my fellow Bay 12'ers suggest I do? Also, what the hell defines an 'Open Relationship'?

[Kedly]

I'd admit I'm interested in her and mention that I noticed she's in an open relationship, but didnt know what exactly that meant. (then again I'm a crazy open person, but still I dont see much harm in asking her what she means by an open relationship)

[MaximumZero]

Open relationship: "I want to be with you, but I want to sleep with other people, too. Feel free to do the same."

[ShoesandHats]

Open relationship: "I want to be with you, but I want to sleep with other people, too. Feel free to do the same."

Pretty much.

[ed boy]

Or at least that's what she's saying by claiming to be in an open relationship, though it's not necessarily what she means.

[Alastar]

Also, I'd interpret this as "Committed relationship with one person, lovers on the side are more like friends with benefits".
Secondary partners shouldn't necessarily expect too much in the ways of romance or emotional bonds, and may be discarded at will if they come across as needy or possessive.

[GlyphGryph]

Although it should be stressed that what an open relationship is, exactly, is often agreed upon by the parties involved. I've seen a pretty wide range. If you just want something casual, you're pretty much 100% good to go. But if you want anything more, it depends on the situation.

[MaximumZero]

Although it should be stressed that what an open relationship is, exactly, is often agreed upon by the parties involved. I've seen a pretty wide range. If you just want something casual, you're pretty much 100% good to go. But if you want anything more, it depends on the situation.

End of thread. Move along folks, this thread is complete.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It should probably go without saying that you should not expect the possibility of being in a closed relationship with her.

Nor should you really expect to be her primary interest, given that she already has one. You are secondary or below.

[lordcooper]

Then again, it is possible to have multiple equal partners.  Plain and honest communication is key in these situations (and pretty much all others).

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Yes, but generally open relationships do not include that. You'd be looking for poly relationships if you wanted multiple equal partners.

It may say something about me that I know about all this as a single monogamous guy. Or perhaps more about my age group.

[GlyphGryph]

On the other hand, I've known a few people in open relationships that were looking for a main - their existing relationships were all things that weren't ever going to blossom into full blown romance (mostly because the other person(s) they were involved with already had a main of their own, or in one case because she'd broken it off with the ain and kept the side ones going, but didn't really want a relationship with them beyond what she had, which she was happy with).

But yes, generally there is a "main" and... tertiaries, I guess, which can be like normal dating couples but without much of a chance of moving in together or getting married.

[Eagleon]

Yes, but generally open relationships do not include that. You'd be looking for poly relationships if you wanted multiple equal partners.

It may say something about me that I know about all this as a single monogamous guy. Or perhaps more about my age group.

Keeping in mind, Facebook does not have options for 'Polyamorous'. Or 'We want to tie you up in our basement and cut off bits of you to eat' for that matter. In other words, just talk with her ffs.