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Author Topic: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY  (Read 5695 times)

Teneb

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #30 on: October 07, 2012, 04:42:44 pm »

GET PROMOTED BY MAKING PEOPLE IN ABOVE DIVISION SUFFER ACCIDENTS
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Praecordia

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #31 on: October 07, 2012, 05:15:26 pm »

BE JANITOR. CLEAN JANITORIAL CLOSET.
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chevil

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #32 on: October 09, 2012, 12:57:30 am »

FOLD THE BEST PAPER AIRPLANE EVER
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Xantalos

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #33 on: October 09, 2012, 01:45:20 am »

>APPEAR OUT OF RANDOM DOOR
WERE IN CLOSET FOR 57 YEARS
AM NOW LEGENDARY +INFINITY JANITOR
>CLEAN WHOLE BUILDING
GET PROMOTE
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Yoink

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #34 on: October 17, 2012, 12:05:37 am »

Go and mop up chemical leak. While humming!

[6] YOU MAKE IT TO F07 IN DOUBLE TIME, LOWERING YOUR MOP AND GETTING TO WORK WIPING UP SOME GLOWING PURPLE GOOP FROM NEXT TO A CRACK IN A WALL



AHH SATISFACTION

YOU HUM A HAPPY TUNE. YOU FEEL VERY HAPPY. GOSH, PHYSICAL WORK SURE DOES AGREE WITH YOU

YOU FEEL A BIT LIGHT-HEADED ACTUALLY

MAYBE YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD?

ACQUIRE MESS AND TURN IT INTO A POWER GENERATOR

HOOK UP TO MAIN POWER GRID

PUT ICKY BITS IN SPONGE, SELL ON SIDE FOR PROFITS


YOU SHUFFLE INTO THE LABORATORY

A GUY IN HOSPITAL SCRUBS PUSHES THE DOOR CLOSED BEHIND YOU

THERE ARE SEVERAL PEOPLE DRESSED SAME WAY WORKING ON SOME LARGE, QUIVERING SLAB OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE PURE, RANCID INTERNET ON OPERATING TABLE IN MIDDLE OF ROOM

OCCASIONALLY LIGHTS FLICKER ACROSS ITS BUMPY, SLIMY SURFACE AS THEY CUT AWAY AT IT, MACHINES BEEPING AS THEY SCAN

YOU SEE STRANGE LINES OF TEXT LIKE "aahh its so happy! haha its great? :]"  "i think? the blondie and the wig are cute but idk if they r the same person btw im egyptian soo im a wog aswell -333"  "loool 'i have capsican? spray and im not afraid to use it'" FLASHING ACROSS THE SCREEN IN TIME WITH THE STRANGE TISSUE'S SPASMS

YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR DISGUST AND ATTEMPT TO TURN IT INTO A POWER GENERATOR FOR SOME REASON

[1] YOU JAM HANDFUL OF ELECTRICAL CABLES INTO IT

IT "SCREAMS", ECHOES OF INARTICULATE PAIN BOUNCE THROUGH ROOM

IS HORRIBLE

AFTER FEW SECONDS YOU THROW UP VIOLENTLY AND COLLAPSE TO YOUR KNEES

IT DOESN'T STOP

YOU BLACK OUT

Item Lost: Consciousness!

Item Lost: Sanity!


BEGIN FORUM GAME IN AGENCY NETWORK. NAME IT 'BAY 12 IS FORUMS'. MAKE IT SO EVERYONE IN THE AGENCY IS ACTUALLY JUST PART OF AN ONLINE FORUM

[3]YOU OPEN UP THE JANITORIAL WEB-BROWSER, START FORUM GAME

NOT MUCH INTEREST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS WORKING, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE

STILL, COUPLE OF PEOPLE MAKE APPS




TAKE SCELLY TO MED BAY.

AVOID OBVIOUS STATEMENT.


((Maybe make it so whenever we complete a task we're assigned, we get closer to levelling up to a new position.))

[2] YOU STUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY

(BECAUSE YOU BLIND)

[3] "HAHA, WE JUST BURNT OUT OUR EYES WITH CORROSIVE LIQUID. WE'LL PROBABLY GET COMPENSATED, I THINK"

UNCLOG TAHT MOTHERFUCKER.

[1] OKAY! UHM. LET'S DO THIS

...WAIT... YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO... STICK YOUR HAND... DOWN THERE?

I, UH, OH G-GOD...

Item Lost: Consciousness!

\\Joining\\

Be somewhere else from all the mayhem atm, cleaning in another department...

[6] YOU ARE ELSEWHERE

YOU ARE VERY ELSEWHERE. INFACT, TOO MUCH ELSEWHERE

YOU AT BUS STOP MILES AWAY, LATE FOR WORK BECAUSE BUS NEVER CAME

IS RAINING

CRAP

BEGIN TO CLEAN CLEANING SUPPLIES

[3] YOU WIPE SOME FINGERPRINTS OFF A LABEL. YOU THINK. OR WAS THAT SOME LETTERS?

PRETEND TO BE GORDON FREEMAN, SMASH RATS WITH MOP

THERE ARE RATS IN THE WALLS. YOU GOING TO KILL THEM. YES.

[6] YOU PUT ON A PAIR OF FREEMAN-ESQUE GLASSES, OPEN UP THE MAINTENANCE HATCH AND CLIMB INTO A CRAWLSPACE, HURRYING ALONG LOOKING FOR RATS. WAIT. UHH.

IT'S A BIT HARD TO SEE WITH THESE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES ON. YOU RUN INTO WALL, FALL OVER.
HEAR SCUTTLING NOISES APPROACHING FROM DARKNESS. SHIT.

PRETEND TO TAKE CLEANING SUPLIES.
FOLD PAPER AIRPLANES SECRETLY.

[1] YOU GRAB A COUPLE OF BOTTLES OF DETERGENT, BLEACH AND SUCH, AS WELL AS A FEW SHEETS OF PAPER FROM THE DES-- "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" HEAD JANITOR IS SHOUTING AT YOU
"YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE PLANNING ON FOLDING AIRPLANES WITH THOSE, YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD! THAT STUFF'S SO FAR ABOVE YOUR CLEARANCE YOU'D GET A CRAMP IN THE NECK FROM TRYING TO LOOK AT IT!!"

Build robotic eyes out of cleaning supplies.

[2] YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING, REALLY. BEING BLIND DOESN'T HELP. YOU WALK INTO OTHER BLIND PERSON, EVERYONE FALLS OVER IN HALLWAY. THIS KINDA EMBARASSING.

Ask for promotion to science bloke.

[5] YOU HEAD OVER TO ADMIN DESK, SMILING CHARMING-LIKE AT ATTRACTIVE SECRETARY

"HEY LOVE, HOW ABOUT YOU GET ME A PROMOTION TO SCIENCE BLOKE?"

[2] "OH, UM... WELL... YOU'D HAVE TO FILL OUT THESE APPLICATION FORMS AND SUBMIT THEM. THE BOARD WILL LOOK OVER THEM AND REPLY WITHIN 3 TO SEVENTEEN WEEKS." SHE SEEMS ALMOST APOLOGETIC AS SHE DUMPS BIG PILE OF PAPERWORK ON DESK. DANG.

MEIN GOTT!

>VILE HOLDING ZE VOODEN END, SMASH ZE MONITORS VITH ZE MOP.

[1] YOU TWITCH SPASTICALLY ON THE FLOOR AS ELECTRICITY RUNS THROUGH YOU LIKE CURRY THROUGH AN IBS SUFFERER

MONITOR FALLS OFF TABLE ONTO YOU

MAKES JUICY *SKRRAKUNCH* SOUND

CAN'T FEEL YOU LEGS

YOU BLACK OUT, BUT NOT BEFORE CATCHING A GLIMPSE OF SOME ARMOUR-CLAD FIGURES SURROUNDING YOU AND STARTING TO DRAG YOU OFF SOMEWHERE. IS PAINFUL.

GET OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. SPY AROUND FACILITY

[4] WOW! IT'S LIKE YOU OUT OF BODY, FLOATING AROUND FACILITY

LOOK, THERE ARE SCIENCE GUYS BUILDING TOP-SECRET WEAPONS!

THERE IS JANITORIAL OFFICER SPINAL CHATTING UP A RECEPTIONIST!

THERE IS THAT GROUP OF SECURITY FOLKS DRAGGING DA_NANG OFF TOWARDS SOME BLAST DOORS MARKED WITH "KEEP OUT- LEADS TO COMMAND/O DIVISION"

ASK WHAT ARE CRITERION FOR PROMOTION.

HEAD JANITOR TOO BUSY SHOUTING AT CHEVIL, IGNORES YOU. WHAT A MEANIE.

MAYBE YOU BETTER GET TO WORK BEFORE HE SHOUTS AT YOU...?

EAT THE MOP TO IMPRESS THE BOSS AND BECOME PROMOTED TO COMMANDO DIVISION

[6] YOU RAISE THE MOP ABOVE YOU, TILT YOUR HEAD BACK AND LOWER IT DOWN, MOUTH OPENED WIDE

YOU SLIDE IT DOWN, PAST YOUR LIPS, [CENSORED] AS YOU [CENSORED]. [CENSORED] FROM [CENSORED], UNTIL MOP IS COMPLETELY EMBEDDED IN DIGESTIVE TRACT, JUST SPONGY CLOTH END PROTRUDING FROM MOUTH

HIGH-RANKING OF BOARD HAPPENED TO BE WATCHING WITH AMAZEMENT AND... AROUSAL?
COMPLIMENTS YOUR ABILITIES AT HANDLING "LONG WOODEN OBJECTS", OFFERS YOU "PROMOTION"

IT OCCURS TO YOU THAT MAYBE THIS NOT KIND OF PROMOTION YOU WANT

OH DEAR

STEAL SECRET DOCUMENTS. SELL SECRET DOCUMENTS TO RIVAL FORUM AGENCIES.

[3] YOU CREEP AROUND, DODGING OCCASIONAL BEMUSED SECURITY GUARDS AT THEIR POSTS, UNTIL YOU FIND AN UNLOCKED OFFICE... CREEPING INSIDE, YOU FIND SHOPPING LIST ON TABLE. SCORE!

GET PROMOTED BY MAKING PEOPLE IN ABOVE DIVISION SUFFER ACCIDENTS

[1] YOU LOOK AS INCONSPICIOUS AS POSSIBLE, WALKING PAST THE HEAD JANITOR AS HE SHOUTS AT SOMEONE

YOU ENTER THE PAPER-PUSHING DIVISION, AND QUICKLY SPOT ONE OF THE PAPER-PUSHERS, A DEPRESSED-LOOKING PIMPLY DUDE WITH SKIN LIKE COOKIE DOUGH, DOZING OFF AT HIS DESK

STIFLING YOUR EVIL LAUGHTER DOWN TO A SNICKER, YOU CREEP OVER THERE AND GIVE A LARGE, TEETERING PILE OF PAPERS A SHOVE, INTENDING FOR IT TO FALL AND CRUSH HIM

YOU PUSH IN MIDDLE OF STACK, CAUSES TOP HALF TO FALL ON YOU WITH LOUD CRASH INSTEAD

OUCH

Item Lost: Consciousness!

Items Gained: Lots of papercuts!


BE JANITOR. CLEAN JANITORIAL CLOSET.

[1] ((WHOAH))

YOU LOCK SELF IN CLOSET ON ACCIDENT

WHOOPS

YOU FEEL/SMELL AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON LOCKED IN HERE, TOO

NOT SURE IF THEY ALIVE

THIS CLOSET NOT GET USED OFTEN

FOLD THE BEST PAPER AIRPLANE EVER

YOU IGNORE THE MASTER JANITOR, STARTING TO FOLD A PIECE OF PAPER

[3] IT IS QUITE MEDIOCRE, BUT STILL RECOGNIZABLE AS PLANE. MASTER JANITOR GOES INTO RAGE, DRAWS PORTABLE VACUUM CLEANER FROM ITS HIP HOLSTER

[2] VS [1] YOU MANAGE TO DODGE HIS WILD SHOT, AND HE TRIPS OVER AND FALLS HEADFIRST INTO BUCKET OF SOAPY WATER

HE KINDA OLD

THINK HE MIGHT BE DROWNING IN THERE. KICKING HIS LEGS AND STUFF. YOU SAVE HIM...?

>APPEAR OUT OF RANDOM DOOR
WERE IN CLOSET FOR 57 YEARS
AM NOW LEGENDARY +INFINITY JANITOR
>CLEAN WHOLE BUILDING
GET PROMOTE

[2] DARK.

IT IS DARK.

LIKE ALWAYS, YOU HEAR SOUNDS FROM OUTSIDE. YOU ARE TRAPPED, EVER SINCE THAT FATEFUL DAY 57 YEARS AGO WHEN YOU TRIED TO CLEAN JANITORIAL CLOSET. EVERY MOMENT, YOU RUE THE DAY YOU DECIDED TO-- WAIT! THE DOOR, IT IS OPENING!

SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO CLEAN THE CLOSET! YOU GO TO DIVE OUT--

AND THEN THEY LOCK THEMSELVES IN, TOO, JUST AS YOU DID ALL THIS TIME AGO. DERP.

WELL, GREAT. MISERY LOVES A LITTLE COMPANY, RIGHT?
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Corai

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #35 on: October 17, 2012, 12:07:22 am »

KILL SECURITY OFFICER AND HIDE BODY WHEN NOBODY IS LOOKING. TAKE UNIFORM AND GUN.

FIND SECRET DOCUMENTS, SELL TO RIVAL FORUM AGENCIES.
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Greenstarfanatic

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #36 on: October 17, 2012, 12:08:27 am »

GET WORKERS COMP. THEN GET UN-BLINDED.
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misko27

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #37 on: October 17, 2012, 12:12:01 am »

DO SOME AMAZING ACTION THAT IMPRESSES SUPERIORS. PREFERABLY DANGEROUS AND DIFFICULT. LIKE CLEANING UP ACID THAT PERIODICALLY EXPLODES, OR FEEDING VENUS FLY TRAP, OR SMACKING ANNOYING BUT VERY LARGE MAILMAN THAT NO ONE COULD SAY NO TOO.

IF PROMOTED, CHAT UP NEAREST ATTRACTIVE LAB-TECHNICIAN.
IF NOT, AND THEREFORE HEAVILY INJURED, SEEK WORKMENS COMP.
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hops

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #38 on: October 17, 2012, 12:14:58 am »

SCREW UP SCIENCE EXPERIMENT THROUGH GHOST POWERS FOR KICKS.
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Xantalos

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #39 on: October 17, 2012, 12:16:06 am »

CLEAN DOOR OFF. ESCAPE. CLEAN EVERYTHING. PEOPLE SO DIRTY. MUST CLEAN. CLEAN. C̛͆͂͊̍͌̿̋̑҉̧̛̣͙̠̪͓͔̰̘͓̕Ľ̴̄͋̇͑҉̰̩̩̪̟̮͔̙̜͕͔̼̬͈̦͎E̡̧̛̎̈́ͪͮ̋̑ͯ̆͜҉͎̯͙͖̠̳̲͚̥̳̼͔̖ͅͅA̷ͭ̈́͊̓̒̑ͬ̒̿̄̽ͩ̈̃͟͏̺̫̠̘̲͙̞͓̲̤͉̝̫͈̩̭̻̮N̶͚͓̯̟̻͖͉̠̏̌̉̌̏͛ͯ̐͟.̨̗̤͙̺̠̪̮͖͓̜̲̖̙̪̺̥̺͉̩ͨ̽ͦ̀̊ͨ̎ͨ̉̄͠͝ ̵̰̬͍̰̪̯̼̤͛͊ͦ̃ͧ̽̐ͥͫ̋͊ͭ͗̎̆͛́͆̔ͅͅ
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RedWarrior0

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #40 on: October 17, 2012, 12:17:03 am »

CONTINUE CLEANING CLEANING SUPPLIES
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TopHat

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #41 on: October 17, 2012, 10:51:54 am »

Finish cleaning then get a glass of water. Whilst humming.
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da_nang

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #42 on: October 17, 2012, 11:02:17 am »

>VEN AVAKE, EXPLAIN TO ZE OFFICERS ZAT I VAS PREVENTING FOREIGN FORUM AGENCIES FROM GAINING AKSESS TO OUR IT DATABASE. ASK FOR PROMOTION.
>IF FAILED, MEMORISE EVERYZING IN ZE COMMAND/O DIVISION AND ACTIVATE ZE EMERGENCY TEMPORAL SHIFT.
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chevil

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #43 on: October 17, 2012, 02:24:52 pm »

WAIT FOR THE MASTER JANITOR TO DROWN
GET PORTABLE VACUUM CLEANER
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: BAY12 IS SECRET AGENCY
« Reply #44 on: October 17, 2012, 04:36:45 pm »

WHAT DO YOU MEAN I HAD SANITY

IF I KNEW I WOULD HAVE SOLD IT

IS VERY PRICEY

AWAKEN

ESTABLISH FOUNDATIONS FOR GLORIOUS TRANSPORT TYCOON THAT IS SELF
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