Go and mop up chemical leak. While humming!
[6] YOU MAKE IT TO F07 IN DOUBLE TIME, LOWERING YOUR MOP AND GETTING TO WORK WIPING UP SOME GLOWING PURPLE GOOP FROM NEXT TO A CRACK IN A WALL
AHH SATISFACTION
YOU HUM A HAPPY TUNE. YOU FEEL VERY HAPPY. GOSH, PHYSICAL WORK SURE DOES AGREE WITH YOU
YOU FEEL A BIT LIGHT-HEADED ACTUALLY
MAYBE YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD?
ACQUIRE MESS AND TURN IT INTO A POWER GENERATOR
HOOK UP TO MAIN POWER GRID
PUT ICKY BITS IN SPONGE, SELL ON SIDE FOR PROFITS
YOU SHUFFLE INTO THE LABORATORY
A GUY IN HOSPITAL SCRUBS PUSHES THE DOOR CLOSED BEHIND YOU
THERE ARE SEVERAL PEOPLE DRESSED SAME WAY WORKING ON SOME LARGE, QUIVERING SLAB OF WHAT LOOKS LIKE PURE, RANCID INTERNET ON OPERATING TABLE IN MIDDLE OF ROOM
OCCASIONALLY LIGHTS FLICKER ACROSS ITS BUMPY, SLIMY SURFACE AS THEY CUT AWAY AT IT, MACHINES BEEPING AS THEY SCAN
YOU SEE STRANGE LINES OF TEXT LIKE "aahh its so happy! haha its great? :]" "i think? the blondie and the wig are cute but idk if they r the same person btw im egyptian soo im a wog aswell -333" "loool 'i have capsican? spray and im not afraid to use it'" FLASHING ACROSS THE SCREEN IN TIME WITH THE STRANGE TISSUE'S SPASMS
YOU PUT ASIDE YOUR DISGUST AND ATTEMPT TO TURN IT INTO A POWER GENERATOR FOR SOME REASON
[1] YOU JAM HANDFUL OF ELECTRICAL CABLES INTO IT
IT "SCREAMS", ECHOES OF INARTICULATE PAIN BOUNCE THROUGH ROOM
IS HORRIBLE
AFTER FEW SECONDS YOU THROW UP VIOLENTLY AND COLLAPSE TO YOUR KNEES
IT DOESN'T STOP
YOU BLACK OUT
Item Lost: Consciousness!
Item Lost: Sanity!BEGIN FORUM GAME IN AGENCY NETWORK. NAME IT 'BAY 12 IS FORUMS'. MAKE IT SO EVERYONE IN THE AGENCY IS ACTUALLY JUST PART OF AN ONLINE FORUM
[3]YOU OPEN UP THE JANITORIAL WEB-BROWSER, START FORUM GAME
NOT MUCH INTEREST BECAUSE EVERYONE ELSE IS WORKING, UNLIKE
SOME PEOPLE STILL, COUPLE OF PEOPLE MAKE APPS
TAKE SCELLY TO MED BAY.
AVOID OBVIOUS STATEMENT.
((Maybe make it so whenever we complete a task we're assigned, we get closer to levelling up to a new position.))
[2] YOU STUMBLE AROUND BLINDLY
(BECAUSE YOU BLIND)
[3] "HAHA, WE JUST BURNT OUT OUR EYES WITH CORROSIVE LIQUID. WE'LL PROBABLY GET COMPENSATED, I THINK"
UNCLOG TAHT MOTHERFUCKER.
[1] OKAY! UHM. LET'S DO THIS
...WAIT... YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO... STICK YOUR HAND... DOWN THERE?
I, UH, OH G-GOD...
Item Lost: Consciousness!\\Joining\\
Be somewhere else from all the mayhem atm, cleaning in another department...
[6] YOU ARE ELSEWHERE
YOU ARE
VERY ELSEWHERE. INFACT, TOO MUCH ELSEWHERE
YOU AT BUS STOP MILES AWAY, LATE FOR WORK BECAUSE BUS NEVER CAME
IS RAINING
CRAP
BEGIN TO CLEAN CLEANING SUPPLIES
[3] YOU WIPE SOME FINGERPRINTS OFF A LABEL. YOU THINK. OR WAS THAT SOME LETTERS?
PRETEND TO BE GORDON FREEMAN, SMASH RATS WITH MOP
THERE ARE RATS IN THE WALLS. YOU GOING TO KILL THEM. YES.
[6] YOU PUT ON A PAIR OF FREEMAN-ESQUE GLASSES, OPEN UP THE MAINTENANCE HATCH AND CLIMB INTO A CRAWLSPACE, HURRYING ALONG LOOKING FOR RATS. WAIT. UHH.
IT'S A BIT HARD TO SEE WITH THESE PRESCRIPTION GLASSES ON. YOU RUN INTO WALL, FALL OVER.
HEAR SCUTTLING NOISES APPROACHING FROM DARKNESS. SHIT.
PRETEND TO TAKE CLEANING SUPLIES.
FOLD PAPER AIRPLANES SECRETLY.
[1] YOU GRAB A COUPLE OF BOTTLES OF DETERGENT, BLEACH AND SUCH, AS WELL AS A FEW SHEETS OF PAPER FROM THE DES--
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" HEAD JANITOR IS SHOUTING AT YOU
"YOU HAD BETTER NOT BE PLANNING ON FOLDING AIRPLANES WITH THOSE, YOU TRAITOROUS BASTARD! THAT STUFF'S SO FAR ABOVE YOUR CLEARANCE YOU'D GET A CRAMP IN THE NECK FROM TRYING TO LOOK AT IT!!"Build robotic eyes out of cleaning supplies.
[2] YOU CAN'T FIND ANYTHING, REALLY. BEING BLIND DOESN'T HELP. YOU WALK INTO OTHER BLIND PERSON, EVERYONE FALLS OVER IN HALLWAY. THIS KINDA EMBARASSING.
Ask for promotion to science bloke.
[5] YOU HEAD OVER TO ADMIN DESK, SMILING CHARMING-LIKE AT ATTRACTIVE SECRETARY
"HEY LOVE, HOW ABOUT YOU GET ME A PROMOTION TO SCIENCE BLOKE?"
[2] "OH, UM... WELL... YOU'D HAVE TO FILL OUT THESE APPLICATION FORMS AND SUBMIT THEM. THE BOARD WILL LOOK OVER THEM AND REPLY WITHIN 3 TO SEVENTEEN WEEKS." SHE SEEMS ALMOST APOLOGETIC AS SHE DUMPS BIG PILE OF PAPERWORK ON DESK. DANG.
MEIN GOTT!
>VILE HOLDING ZE VOODEN END, SMASH ZE MONITORS VITH ZE MOP.
[1] YOU TWITCH SPASTICALLY ON THE FLOOR AS ELECTRICITY RUNS THROUGH YOU LIKE CURRY THROUGH AN IBS SUFFERER
MONITOR FALLS OFF TABLE ONTO YOU
MAKES JUICY
*SKRRAKUNCH* SOUND
CAN'T FEEL YOU LEGS
YOU BLACK OUT, BUT NOT BEFORE CATCHING A GLIMPSE OF SOME ARMOUR-CLAD FIGURES SURROUNDING YOU AND STARTING TO DRAG YOU OFF SOMEWHERE. IS PAINFUL.
GET OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. SPY AROUND FACILITY
[4] WOW! IT'S LIKE YOU OUT OF BODY, FLOATING AROUND FACILITY
LOOK, THERE ARE SCIENCE GUYS BUILDING TOP-SECRET WEAPONS!
THERE IS JANITORIAL OFFICER SPINAL CHATTING UP A RECEPTIONIST!
THERE IS THAT GROUP OF SECURITY FOLKS DRAGGING DA_NANG OFF TOWARDS SOME BLAST DOORS MARKED WITH "KEEP OUT- LEADS TO COMMAND/O DIVISION"
ASK WHAT ARE CRITERION FOR PROMOTION.
HEAD JANITOR TOO BUSY SHOUTING AT CHEVIL, IGNORES YOU. WHAT A MEANIE.
MAYBE YOU BETTER GET TO WORK BEFORE HE SHOUTS AT YOU...?
EAT THE MOP TO IMPRESS THE BOSS AND BECOME PROMOTED TO COMMANDO DIVISION
[6] YOU RAISE THE MOP ABOVE YOU, TILT YOUR HEAD BACK AND LOWER IT DOWN, MOUTH OPENED WIDE
YOU SLIDE IT DOWN, PAST YOUR LIPS, [CENSORED] AS YOU [CENSORED]. [CENSORED] FROM [CENSORED], UNTIL MOP IS COMPLETELY EMBEDDED IN DIGESTIVE TRACT, JUST SPONGY CLOTH END PROTRUDING FROM MOUTH
HIGH-RANKING OF BOARD HAPPENED TO BE WATCHING WITH AMAZEMENT AND... AROUSAL?
COMPLIMENTS YOUR ABILITIES AT HANDLING "LONG WOODEN OBJECTS", OFFERS YOU "PROMOTION"
IT OCCURS TO YOU THAT MAYBE THIS NOT KIND OF PROMOTION YOU WANT
OH DEAR
STEAL SECRET DOCUMENTS. SELL SECRET DOCUMENTS TO RIVAL FORUM AGENCIES.
[3] YOU CREEP AROUND, DODGING OCCASIONAL BEMUSED SECURITY GUARDS AT THEIR POSTS, UNTIL YOU FIND AN UNLOCKED OFFICE... CREEPING INSIDE, YOU FIND SHOPPING LIST ON TABLE. SCORE!
GET PROMOTED BY MAKING PEOPLE IN ABOVE DIVISION SUFFER ACCIDENTS
[1] YOU LOOK AS INCONSPICIOUS AS POSSIBLE, WALKING PAST THE HEAD JANITOR AS HE SHOUTS AT SOMEONE
YOU ENTER THE PAPER-PUSHING DIVISION, AND QUICKLY SPOT ONE OF THE PAPER-PUSHERS, A DEPRESSED-LOOKING PIMPLY DUDE WITH SKIN LIKE COOKIE DOUGH, DOZING OFF AT HIS DESK
STIFLING YOUR EVIL LAUGHTER DOWN TO A SNICKER, YOU CREEP OVER THERE AND GIVE A LARGE, TEETERING PILE OF PAPERS A SHOVE, INTENDING FOR IT TO FALL AND CRUSH HIM
YOU PUSH IN MIDDLE OF STACK, CAUSES TOP HALF TO FALL ON YOU WITH LOUD CRASH INSTEAD
OUCH
Item Lost: Consciousness!
Items Gained: Lots of papercuts!BE JANITOR. CLEAN JANITORIAL CLOSET.
[1] ((WHOAH))
YOU LOCK SELF IN CLOSET ON ACCIDENT
WHOOPS
YOU FEEL/SMELL AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON LOCKED IN HERE, TOO
NOT SURE IF THEY ALIVE
THIS CLOSET NOT GET USED OFTEN
FOLD THE BEST PAPER AIRPLANE EVER
YOU IGNORE THE MASTER JANITOR, STARTING TO FOLD A PIECE OF PAPER
[3] IT IS QUITE MEDIOCRE, BUT STILL RECOGNIZABLE AS PLANE. MASTER JANITOR GOES INTO RAGE, DRAWS PORTABLE VACUUM CLEANER FROM ITS HIP HOLSTER
[2] VS [1] YOU MANAGE TO DODGE HIS WILD SHOT, AND HE TRIPS OVER AND FALLS HEADFIRST INTO BUCKET OF SOAPY WATER
HE KINDA OLD
THINK HE MIGHT BE DROWNING IN THERE. KICKING HIS LEGS AND STUFF. YOU SAVE HIM...?
>APPEAR OUT OF RANDOM DOOR
WERE IN CLOSET FOR 57 YEARS
AM NOW LEGENDARY +INFINITY JANITOR
>CLEAN WHOLE BUILDING
GET PROMOTE
[2] DARK.
IT IS DARK.
LIKE ALWAYS, YOU HEAR SOUNDS FROM OUTSIDE. YOU ARE TRAPPED, EVER SINCE THAT FATEFUL DAY 57 YEARS AGO WHEN YOU TRIED TO CLEAN JANITORIAL CLOSET. EVERY MOMENT, YOU RUE THE DAY YOU DECIDED TO-- WAIT! THE DOOR, IT IS OPENING!
SOMEONE IS ABOUT TO CLEAN THE CLOSET! YOU GO TO DIVE OUT--
AND THEN THEY LOCK THEMSELVES IN, TOO, JUST AS YOU DID ALL THIS TIME AGO. DERP.
WELL, GREAT. MISERY LOVES A LITTLE COMPANY, RIGHT?