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[Graknorke]

TAKE OVER CHAIRMAN'S EMPIRE, SPLIT IT WITH MISKO 50/50.
TAKE ALL OF THE BESTEREST WEAPONRY THAT IS IN MY HALF.

[LordSlowpoke]

EXAMINE INVENTORY

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

SPEED UP FLIPWARDS

[GreatWyrmGold]

LOCATE TEST SUBJECTS.
GROUP INTO PAIRS BASED ON SIMILAR CHARACTERISTICS, IF POSSIBLE.

[Graknorke]

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT WE NEED TO CLOSE THIS TIME LOOP. I REFUSE TO BE IN A DOOMED TIMELINE.

[Furtuka]

SEND ZOMBIES TO SUN

[hops]

TELEPORT BACK HERE SOMEHOW AND THROW ZOMBIES TO THE MOON

[misko27]

YES! THE TABLES HAVE CREATED A NEW UTOPIA!

ATTEMPT TO GAIN CONTROL OF HELL WHERE HEROS AND ZOMBIES ARE, BY SENDING IN TABLE NATIONAL GUARD TASK FORCE  "BARBECUE BLITZ"

[GoombaGeek]

TAKE OVER CHAIRMAN'S EMPIRE, SPLIT IT WITH MISKO 50/50.
TAKE ALL OF THE BESTEREST WEAPONRY THAT IS IN MY HALF.

[10]
YOU ACQUIRE CHAIRMAN TABLE TOWN HELL EMPIRE
YOU STEAL TABLE LASERS
YOU ARE ARMED WITH TABLE POWER
BUT NOT AS ARMED AS MISKO, HEH HEH
GET IT BECAUSE ONE OF HIS ARMS IS A TABLE POWER TABLE LASTER

EXAMINE INVENTORY

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

SPEED UP FLIPWARDS

[1]
YOU DROP MOON AT ZOMBIES
IT ESCAPES INTO SPACE
IT DOES THAT FOREVER

LOCATE TEST SUBJECTS.
GROUP INTO PAIRS BASED ON SIMILAR CHARACTERISTICS, IF POSSIBLE.

[6]
YOU FIND A TABLE AND A TABLE FLOATING SOMEWHERE IN SPACE (POSSIBLY OVER TABLE PLANET)
ALL YOUR COMPUTING POWER IS DEDICATED TO PAIRING THEM UP
AFTER A WEEK OF COMPUTING YOU DETERMINE THAT BOTH TABLES ARE MADE OF WOOD
YOU PUT THEM IN A ROOM
YOU GET +2 TO INTERNAL DECORATING SKILL

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT WE NEED TO CLOSE THIS TIME LOOP. I REFUSE TO BE IN A DOOMED TIMELINE.

[6]
YOU GRAB YOUR NEEDLE AND THREAD AND BEGIN SEWING TOGETHER THE FABRIC OF TIME
YOU POKE YOUR FINGER
YOUR FINGER BLEEDS
YOU FEEL STUPID

SEND ZOMBIES TO SUN

[2]
YOU PICK UP A ZOMBIE AND HURL IT AT THE SUN
IT FALLS BACK DOWN ON YOU
MANY NERVES HAVE BEEN SEVERED

TELEPORT BACK HERE SOMEHOW AND THROW ZOMBIES TO THE MOON

[5]
YOU CRAWL THROUGH A DIMENSIONAL RIFT FLOATING NEARBY THAT LOOKS AS IF IT WAS IMPROPERLY SEWED SHUT AND ABANDONED HALFWAY THROUGH
YOU EMERGE IN SPACE
A TRAIN FLOATS NEARBY
ONE OF THE TRAIN CARS IS GLOWING, POSSIBLY SUSTAINING NUCLEAR FUSION
YOUR DIMENSION POWERS DETECT ZOMBIE PARTICLES IN THE GLOWING CAR
YOU DIVE IN AND BEGIN PICKING OUT THE ZOMBIE PARTICLES
YOU THROW THEM IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF TABLE HELL KOBOLD CHAIRMAN REPUBLIC
UNFORTUNATELY THEY WILL MISS BECAUSE THE MOON IS CURRENTLY HURTLING THROUGH SPACE

YES! THE TABLES HAVE CREATED A NEW UTOPIA!

ATTEMPT TO GAIN CONTROL OF HELL WHERE HEROS AND ZOMBIES ARE, BY SENDING IN TABLE NATIONAL GUARD TASK FORCE  "BARBECUE BLITZ"

[7]
IT'S NOT A UTOPIA
IT'S IN HELL
DID YOU GET THE MEMO
TABLE TOWN BECAME HELL
TABLE TOWN IS NOT ON TABLE PLANET
TABLE PLANET IS UNRELATED
TABLE TASK FORCE IS DEPLOYED TO HELL, ALREADY IN HELL
TABLE TASK FORCE FEELS STUPID

[GreatWyrmGold]

EXPERIMENT ON ONE TABLE TO TRY AND CREATE RACE OF TEST SUBJECTS.
THE OTHER TABLE IS THE CONTROL GROUP.

[misko27]

TAKE OVER CHAIRMAN'S EMPIRE, SPLIT IT WITH MISKO 50/50.
TAKE ALL OF THE BESTEREST WEAPONRY THAT IS IN MY HALF.

[10]
YOU ACQUIRE CHAIRMAN TABLE TOWN HELL EMPIRE
YOU STEAL TABLE LASERS
YOU ARE ARMED WITH TABLE POWER
BUT NOT AS ARMED AS MISKO, HEH HEH
GET IT BECAUSE ONE OF HIS ARMS IS A TABLE POWER TABLE LASTER

EXAMINE INVENTORY

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

SPEED UP FLIPWARDS

[1]
YOU DROP MOON AT ZOMBIES
IT ESCAPES INTO SPACE
IT DOES THAT FOREVER

LOCATE TEST SUBJECTS.
GROUP INTO PAIRS BASED ON SIMILAR CHARACTERISTICS, IF POSSIBLE.

[6]
YOU FIND A TABLE AND A TABLE FLOATING SOMEWHERE IN SPACE (POSSIBLY OVER TABLE PLANET)
ALL YOUR COMPUTING POWER IS DEDICATED TO PAIRING THEM UP
AFTER A WEEK OF COMPUTING YOU DETERMINE THAT BOTH TABLES ARE MADE OF WOOD
YOU PUT THEM IN A ROOM
YOU GET +2 TO INTERNAL DECORATING SKILL

THROW MOON AT ZOMBIES

I THINK WE ALL KNOW THAT WE NEED TO CLOSE THIS TIME LOOP. I REFUSE TO BE IN A DOOMED TIMELINE.

[6]
YOU GRAB YOUR NEEDLE AND THREAD AND BEGIN SEWING TOGETHER THE FABRIC OF TIME
YOU POKE YOUR FINGER
YOUR FINGER BLEEDS
YOU FEEL STUPID

SEND ZOMBIES TO SUN

[2]
YOU PICK UP A ZOMBIE AND HURL IT AT THE SUN
IT FALLS BACK DOWN ON YOU
MANY NERVES HAVE BEEN SEVERED

TELEPORT BACK HERE SOMEHOW AND THROW ZOMBIES TO THE MOON

[5]
YOU CRAWL THROUGH A DIMENSIONAL RIFT FLOATING NEARBY THAT LOOKS AS IF IT WAS IMPROPERLY SEWED SHUT AND ABANDONED HALFWAY THROUGH
YOU EMERGE IN SPACE
A TRAIN FLOATS NEARBY
ONE OF THE TRAIN CARS IS GLOWING, POSSIBLY SUSTAINING NUCLEAR FUSION
YOUR DIMENSION POWERS DETECT ZOMBIE PARTICLES IN THE GLOWING CAR
YOU DIVE IN AND BEGIN PICKING OUT THE ZOMBIE PARTICLES
YOU THROW THEM IN THE GENERAL DIRECTION OF TABLE HELL KOBOLD CHAIRMAN REPUBLIC
UNFORTUNATELY THEY WILL MISS BECAUSE THE MOON IS CURRENTLY HURTLING THROUGH SPACE

YES! THE TABLES HAVE CREATED A NEW UTOPIA!

ATTEMPT TO GAIN CONTROL OF HELL WHERE HEROS AND ZOMBIES ARE, BY SENDING IN TABLE NATIONAL GUARD TASK FORCE  "BARBECUE BLITZ"

[7]
IT'S NOT A UTOPIA
IT'S IN HELL
DID YOU GET THE MEMO
TABLE TOWN BECAME HELL
TABLE TOWN IS NOT ON TABLE PLANET
TABLE PLANET IS UNRELATED
TABLE TASK FORCE IS DEPLOYED TO HELL, ALREADY IN HELL
TABLE TASK FORCE FEELS STUPID

TABLE TASK FORCE SHOULD STOP JUDGING MY DESCISIONS.

EXPERIMENT ON ONE TABLE TO TRY AND CREATE RACE OF TEST SUBJECTS.
THE OTHER TABLE IS THE CONTROL GROUP.

TABLE TASK FORCE MUST PREVENT THESE WARCRIMES FROM COMING TO PASS.

[hops]

SUMMON A COSMIC GOAT

[GoombaGeek]

EXPERIMENT ON ONE TABLE TO TRY AND CREATE RACE OF TEST SUBJECTS.
THE OTHER TABLE IS THE CONTROL GROUP.

[6]
YOU DEPLOY TRAIN HACKSAW
AFTER MUCH EXPERIMENTATION YOU DEDUCE THAT ONE TABLE CAN CREATE FOUR MUTANT OFFSPRING THAT YOU HAVE NAMED "TABLEGGIANS"
AND A LARGE FLAT BOARD
AFTER USING YOUR CUTTING LASER YOU MANAGE TO CUT A LOVELY WOODEN WHALE OUT OF THE BOARD
YET YOU FEEL UNFULFILLED

OK

IT'S TIME FOR STATUS

TABLE TOWN:
IS IN HELL
RULED BY GRAKNORKE AND MISKO
KOBOLD ALLIES' LOCATION UNKNOWN
TABLE PLANET:
SOME PLANET
NOT RELATED TO TABLE TOWN
KOBOLD GHETTOS:
EMPTY
TUMBLEWEED VALLEY:
ERASED FROM EXISTENCE
SPACE TRAIN:
IS IN SPACE
LORDSLOWPOKE FIXED AND IS CAPTAIN
OBJECTIVE LIVING IN LIQUID METALLIC HYDROGEN TANK, HAS MYSTERY DIMENSION POWERS
GREATWYRMGOLD CURRENTLY CONDUCTING DIABOLICAL CARPENTRY EXPERIMENTS VIA SHIP COMPUTER

ARTIFACTS OF NOTE
1000 GRAMS OF WEAPONS-GRADE ²³⁵U, CURRENTLY OWNED BY YOINK
DUTCH MINTS, ALSO OWNED BY YOINK, ARE DANGEROUSLY MINTY
TRAIN MEDALLION WITH POCKET UNIVERSE, STATUS UNKNOWN
TANKFUL OF LIQUID METALLIC HYDROGEN, VERY USEFUL
MISKO'S TABLE HAND, CAN SHOOT TABLE LASERS

STATUS OF PEOPLE
YOINK: HAS RADIATION POISONING, BUT FEELS NO SYMPTOMS DUE TO EXTRA-STRONG MINTS
LORDSLOWPOKE: CAPTAIN OF SPACE TRAIN
OBJECTIVE: SQUATTER ON SPACE TRAIN, CURRENTLY RELAXING IN HARDCOAR FUSION TANK
GREATWYRMGOLD: TRAIN COMPUTER, LIKES SCIENCE
MISKO: LORD OF TABLE TOWN, HAS TABLE POWER
GRAKNORKE: LORD OF TABLE TOWN, RULES KOBOLDS
SLAYERHERO90: BUSY TRYING TO KILL SELF, CHOKED ON OWN TEETH
XANTALOS: TURNED INTO POWERPUFF GIRLS VILLAIN AND WAS NEVER SEEN AGAIN
FURTUKA: FIGHTING UNSUCCESSFUL WAR ON ZOMBIES, CANNOT REACH ESCAPE VELOCITY
ZOMBIES: VERY ZOMBIE
GOOMBAGEEK: CELEBRATING CANADIAN THANKSGIVING
LOUD WHISPERS TREE: GROWING SOMEWHERE IN HELL, DO NOT DISTURB

TABLE TASK FORCE MUST PREVENT THESE WARCRIMES FROM COMING TO PASS.

[3]
TABLE TASK FORCE LAUNCHES TABLE INTO SPACE TO RIDE MOON
TABLE BURNS UP IN ATMOSPHERE

SUMMON A COSMIC GOAT

[6]
YOU SUMMON COSMIC GOAT
COSMIC GOAT EATS COSMIC TIN CAN
DIES OF COSMIC LEAD POISONING AND COSMIC UNREALISTICOSITY
OH NO

[Furtuka]

CREATE SERIES OF NUCLEAR EXPLOSIONS BENEATH HELL SO AS TO LAUNCH IT INTO SPACE IN THE SUNS GENERAL DIRECTION

[misko27]

TASK FORCE IS UNRELIABLE.
USE TABLE ANTI-GREATWYRM UNIT.

[hops]

RICK ROLL EVERYBODY AND THEN TURN INTO A CUP OF TEA