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[KaelGotDwarves]

Someone suggested I start a thread to document my travels and other hijinks I tend to find myself in, as they make for some interesting stories.

Current location: Phaya Thai, Bangkok, Thailand

Hi! I'm Kael: World traveler, freelance writer, semi-professional fire performer, former Buddhist monk. I have been to 5/7 continents, and along with family have flown over a million miles. Some other labels include liberal hippie, atheist, humanist, ontological and epistemological social constructivist. I'm training as a ninja to fight the Dos Equis guy for the title of "Most interesting man in the world".

This is my story...

So feel free to ask me anything. I will be regularly updating this thread along with other writing I do.

Author's note: These are creative works of non-fiction. While all of the things here have most likely happened, names have been changed and embellishments added to protect the identity of those involved.

Todo list - titles subject to change (feel free to request I work on something):
That time I spun fire in a strip club
How to get deported from Myanmar with style
My Father
My Mother
Life with Bipolar disorder
BYU and living with Mormons
SLC punks, my time spent running from the police
The Killing Fields and Toul Sleng genocide museum
Angkor Wat
Fire dancing and how I became a pyromaniac
Firedrums 2012 - this festival is superior to Burningman
Notes about recreationally friendly drug use as a non-user
When I caved in and tried shrooms and acid
Excerpts from my time as a Theravadan Buddhist Monk
Living in the Netherlands
Why France Sucks and other European travels
Silly England
Japan. Enough said
Hong Kong wong-time
Socialist Singapore and how my mum hooked me up with a model
Rio de Janeiro is about the sexiest place ever
Aussieland
On dreams...

[Ancre]

So, your thread title have sparked my curiosity. How many countries have you been deported from since 2006 ? For what reasons ?

I know this kinds of ask for a long post about your life story, but that's what I'd like to read a short resume is fine too, if you prefer. Your thread, and the books you want to write, sounds like action movie material or something.



Also, why does France sucks ?

[KaelGotDwarves]

Two countries.

I was forcibly deported from Myanmar (the country so formerly known as Burma), in a story that I will open with and post sometime tomorrow.

I was led to the border of Canada and kicked back into the States for a less serious offense that involved teaching illegal dance workshops. No joke.

France sucks because it is full of French people - a long explanation I will get to with time. My apologies if anyone reading this is one of the non-sucky French people. I had too many run-ins with punks in France compared to anywhere else on the planet.

My life story or a short resume...

I was born in Anaheim Hills, California, United States of America to two Thai/Chinese (Cantonese) immigrants.
From there we moved to Cerritos, California - The Hague, Netherlands - Chicago, Illinois - I moved to Provo, Utah for school - Chiang Mai, Thailand - suburbs of San Francisco, California - Bangkok, Thailand - with brief transient stints on the US East Coast. As far as traveling goes, the list is too long but it spans 5 continents, the exception being Antarctica (which I plan to go to), and Africa (which I'm not sure about visiting). Cambodia was especially mentally jarring.

I have worked such jobs as YMCA front desk, loss prevention at a major electronics company, freelance writer, proofreader, freelance fire performer/dancer, survey taker following the 2004 Christmas tsunami, dance teacher, English teacher, piano teacher, violinist, massage therapist, Buddhist monk, farm labourer, psychological consultant, [redacted]/possibly illegal activities, and manual labour at a text book warehouse.

What else do you want from a life resume?

[AlStar]

I have worked such jobs as ... Buddhist monk, ....

What's that pay by the hour?


edit: Honestly curious. Although it's obviously not the same thing, I've always wondered what, if anything, the religious nut jobs preaching on street corners on in the subways were earning.
Of course, I also wonder how the guy who rides around my area all day on a bicycle with rubber chickens and Puerto Rico flags blasting bad Spanish music manages to pay the bills.

[Starver]

I have worked such jobs as ... Buddhist monk, ....

What's that pay by the hour?

An hour's-worth of good karma (time and a half, on occasions), which you can cash in during a later cycle of rebirth to get an 'upgrade'.

(PTW.)

[Rose]

What countries do you plan on visiting next?

[KaelGotDwarves]

I have worked such jobs as ... Buddhist monk, ....

What's that pay by the hour?

I was paid nothing, and lost nothing during the experience. But I earned a lot.

What countries do you plan on visiting next?

I sort of want to find out if I'm allowed back in Myanmar. Barring that, I'm going to go to Japan and then back to the US for a short while.

[Willfor]

Getting kicked out of Canada takes a certain kind of skill, man.

[KaelGotDwarves]

"Teaching illegal fire dancing workshops in Canada with no work permit".

Next time I'll get the mounties to escort me out personally.

[Willfor]

I've only ever seen one fire dancing show around here, and it was while I was wandering the streets on my break during the local music festival. Their talent was wasted on the crowd, where the leader of the [troupe?] basically had to tell most of the crowd to be enthusiastic. People are playing with fire for you, people, get excited. I had to pump up my own enthusiasm to compensate.

[mendonca]

Posting to watch.

My mum's husband has a Burmese driving licence. I think it might actually be Burmese, as in pre-Myanmar, but I'm not sure.

He likes to get it out every now and again, and he's from Yorkshire (in Silly England).

[The Fool]

It sounds like you need an author more than anything Kael. Your story looks pretty interesting, and that's just as a list of things. I hope you write it all out.

[Ancre]

I agree with The Fool. You have an interesting life.

France sucks because it is full of French people - a long explanation I will get to with time. My apologies if anyone reading this is one of the non-sucky French people. I had too many run-ins with punks in France compared to anywhere else on the planet.

I am very curious about this (I'm french and it's always interesting to see how others think of my country, since I take most of it for granted since I live here.) Where have you been and what have you done (as a job, or for vacations, or something else) to have such an impression ? Edit : re-reading your post, you said you'll get to explain that in time, so I can wait. Sorry !

My life story or a short resume...

I was born in Anaheim Hills, California, United States of America to two Thai/Chinese (Cantonese) immigrants.
From there we moved to Cerritos, California - The Hague, Netherlands - Chicago, Illinois - I moved to Provo, Utah for school - Chiang Mai, Thailand - suburbs of San Francisco, California - Bangkok, Thailand - with brief transient stints on the US East Coast. As far as traveling goes, the list is too long but it spans 5 continents, the exception being Antarctica (which I plan to go to), and Africa (which I'm not sure about visiting). Cambodia was especially mentally jarring.

How was Chicago ? Why don't you want to visit Africa ? Why was Cambodia mentally jarring ?

[KaelGotDwarves]

It sounds like you need an author more than anything Kael. Your story looks pretty interesting, and that's just as a list of things. I hope you write it all out.

I have been wanting to write out this stuff for awhile. By posting on bay12 for other people I hope to maintain the motivation to flesh it all out. I find myself too busy with craziness to have time to sit down and contemplate wordsmithing.

The people I met from Yorkshire were extremely proud of being from there. They would smite you with righteous fury if you ever called their accent 'English'.

As for France, I will expound upon the reasoning for declaring it 'sucktacular' in due time. It was a beautiful country marred by l'esprit of the French.

Chicago... Spring comes, and on the south side 30 people are shot or stabbed for having the audacity to go outside within one weekend. North side is safe and pristine. Politics here are as corrupt as many dictators. It is a city that is the heart of the Midwest of America. There's a folksy attitude among the throng and bustle of people moving. The local scene is a whirl of mixed elements... bourgeoisie that are constantly on the move to differentiate themselves from the country rabble south of I-80. Winters are harsh and cold, summers are humid and irritating. But for a short time in the spring and fall, it is a wonderful place to be. Assuming of course, you never go to the south side. PS - the cubs suck.

I don't want to visit Africa because the concentration camps of Europe and the Killing Fields of Cambodia already scarred me for life and actually led to a diagnosis of PTSD from one psychologist. The last thing I need is to visit some of the worst parts of Africa. I would probably kill myself.

As for Cambodia... That will definitely have to be its own story post.

[Starver]

The people I met from Yorkshire were extremely proud of being from there. They would smite you with righteous fury if you ever called their accent 'English'.

Oh, "English" isn't too bad.  It's "Lancastrian" (for those that found themselves on the wrong side of a moved boundary) that's the killer.

(Those that found themselves in northern Humberside (now at least partially reverted) probably had their own grievances, but I don't know enough how they messed about with about the County Durham end...)

Oh, and there are those, while Yorkshiremen/women, still, mourn the lost of the Ridings.  (I was a little too young to care, at the time.  I suppose I'm a die hard near permanent resident of the People's Republic.  King Arthur[1]'s country and Robin Hood[2]'s, too.  Except when I was temporarily in (historic) Lancashire myself.  And none of this means much to anyone non-local, I imagine. )


Sorry, minor derail.  Please continue.  Still PTW.  Will try not to PTPost much more.

[1] Not the historic/mythical one.
[2] Yes, the historic/mythical one.   And, no, I'm nowhere near Nottingham.  You lot name one lousy forest, and you end up with all the credit...