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Author Topic: You are Canada!  (Read 11559 times)

Descan

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #30 on: October 06, 2012, 08:11:29 pm »

You send the response that, as you have already done the dirty work of invading Greenland, they don't need to worry about their access to the the supply.

The American ambassador is flustered at your impropriety, and stammers out a response that "We only care about the Greenlandic people! Why on earth would we, haha, care about, haha, the oil?"

Speaking of the Greenlanders, how do we wish to pacify them? We can either release them as a Canadian puppet state, annex them fully as second class citizens, release them as a full state, beholden neither to Canada nor to Denmark, give them BACK to Denmark, annex them as full Canadian citizens, or exterminate the lot and repopulate them with French-Canadian lumberjacks and Inuit, the only Canadians who could withstand the cold.

If you have a better idea, feel free to suggest it!
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Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
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Wrex

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #31 on: October 06, 2012, 08:13:00 pm »

Annex them as full canadian citizens with all benefits it brings.

Offer american ambassador bottle of magically alchoholic wine.
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Descan

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #32 on: October 06, 2012, 08:20:27 pm »

You proceed to assure the Ambassador that the Greenlandic people will be treated as full citizens of our glorious country, that Kalaallisut will be considered the third official language of Canada, and that the relationship between America and Canada will not have changed because of this.

You offer the Ambassador a bottle of the new ice-wine made from strawberries grown in Nunavut through magic and cold-fusion, and he accepts it as a gift from Canada to America.

After trying the new elixir, he grows increasingly agitated and energetic until he explodes and begs you to ramp up production and export it to America, stating that all of America must try this "Magical concoction of science and witchcraft", in his words. Should we export it to them at a reasonable cost, or gouge them for all their worth? We only have a single person to vouch for it's addictive properties.

Suddenly, your secret agents burst into the room, and tell you that there is a riot of people outside Parliament Hill, demanding that the new breakthrough into cold fusion be used to give Canadian citizens cheap or even free energy instead of being used for weapons of war. For now, we are still relying on oil, coal, and hydro-electric dams for our energy needs.
« Last Edit: October 06, 2012, 08:23:36 pm by Descan »
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Wrex

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2012, 08:23:52 pm »

Fusion energy is so plentiful it can be offered for pennies on the dollar to our own citizens, but exported at a higher price, to say America. We would have enough power to use it for both our citizens and our Deuterium fusion cannons.

Export the wine at a reasonable cost.
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RedWarrior0

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #34 on: October 06, 2012, 08:29:34 pm »

In addition, we generate enough to begin research into matter-antimatter synthesis; i.e turning energy into matter and antimatter.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #35 on: October 06, 2012, 08:31:16 pm »

Fusion energy is so plentiful it can be offered for pennies on the dollar to our own citizens, but exported at a higher price, to say America. We would have enough power to use it for both our citizens and our Deuterium fusion cannons.

Export the wine at a reasonable cost.
Sounds good. Export power at 6¢ per kW/h, which is 5¢ below average and lower than the RL minimum price of .electricity.
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misko27

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #36 on: October 06, 2012, 08:31:51 pm »

Send elite Strike force into Australia and, dressed as Australian Nationals, Launch attacks on Various embassies to create international outrage.
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Descan

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #37 on: October 06, 2012, 08:37:25 pm »

Everybody already hates Australia. Ambassadors and embassy staff already die regularly because of the explosions in the venom mines launching poisons into the air. Australian natives (both white and aborigine) are immune to these poisons, and they are used as flavouring in their soup, salads, and other foods. This is why they have venom mines in the first place.
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Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
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Descan confirmed for antichrist.
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I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

Wrex

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #38 on: October 06, 2012, 08:38:15 pm »

Actually, we don't need to invade Australia. We just need to turn it into the Canadian Commonwealth, vs the British Commonwealth, with our vast economic power.
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RedWarrior0

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #39 on: October 06, 2012, 08:39:37 pm »

How about we adopt Britain into the Canadian Commonwealth first, and then we have Australia via proxy?

First thing we really need to do is get the Royal Family to live in Canada.
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mainiac

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #40 on: October 06, 2012, 08:41:55 pm »

Start shipping vast quantities of snow from Greenland to Ontario.  This will just make Canadians stronger.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
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Descan

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #41 on: October 06, 2012, 08:51:09 pm »

You begin shipping the glacial ice from Greenlands plains to the wastelands of Northern Ontario. This results in a net gain of Badass, as well as opening up much more of Greenland for colonization by native and euro-canadian alike. Canadian scientists project Greenlands population to explode, reaching 250 000 by 2020, from an as-of-last-census population of 53 000~.

As well, the cost of cold fusion plummets even more due to the closer Cold from the moved glacial ice. By selling this even cheaper fusion energy to the U.S. and keeping a strangle-hold on the blueprints for the device, it is projected that by 2015 nearly all of Ameria will be dependant on Canada for energy needs. In addition, there are reports of many cities citizens getting addicted to the new Canunawine, as they are calling it. This causes many Canadian economists to insist we raise the price soon, as they believe that we can run the entire Canadian government on sales of this magical elixir.

Finally, the first fusion-powered aircraft carrier has just begun being built in the shipyards of Victoria. As well, as many as 3 submarines and 6 transport boats are also being built in and around the Greater Vancouver Area.
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Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

mainiac

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #42 on: October 06, 2012, 08:55:30 pm »

Raise the price of energy and use the money to greatly increase the budget of the Canadian Space Agency.  Colonize moon.  Export ice from moon to Canada.
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Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
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[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

RedWarrior0

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #43 on: October 06, 2012, 08:58:42 pm »

Still say we should try matter-antimatter synthesis.
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Descan

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Re: You are Canada!
« Reply #44 on: October 06, 2012, 09:00:54 pm »

Our scientists are making headway but such a breakthrough takes time. These things don't happen over-night, you know.

... Well, okay, cold fusion happened over night. That was just a fluke, though!
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Quote from: SalmonGod
Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.
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