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Author Topic: I have become a dark lord  (Read 13578 times)

NAV

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I have become a dark lord
« on: October 01, 2012, 07:22:06 pm »

I am currently leading an army of necromancers to take over the world.

I suppose I should start from the beginning.

One day in the year 250, Thomo Practicefights appeared on beach of the Lost Kingdom, a remote island kingdom. He was lost and confused and looking for a quest. It was close to nightfall and there was no way he could fend off the bogeymen. He went to the first house in the first hamlet he found. He asked the owner of the house, an elderly fisherman for a place to stay. "Dark times" the fisherman said, "I'll let you stay the night if you take care of Radir Mileapple,that vampire next door".

Thomo went door to door, telling anyone willing to listen about his quest to slay the vampire. Two brave villagers joined him, a crossbowman and an halberdier. They burst through the door and confronted the vampire. He was obviously a vampire, judging by his jewellery made of human bones. "Everybody listen up! this here is the vampire Radir Mileapple! It is time to bring him to justice!" Then everybody killed him. I didn't get the killing blow, but I was the one who confronted him, and I was the hero of this battle. I went to examine the corpse, to make sure he was dead, not just unconscious, and I secretly filled my waterskin with his blood.

Now I can get some rest.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 01, 2012, 08:19:54 pm by NAV »
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

Scow2

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #1 on: October 01, 2012, 07:29:50 pm »

Becoming a vampire from the very beginning? Before you get all your stats to Superhuman/dwarven? YOU FOOL!
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NAV

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #2 on: October 01, 2012, 07:32:25 pm »

I didn't drink the blood yet. I just put it in a waterskin to save it for later. I am human btw.
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

ghjijhg

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #3 on: October 01, 2012, 07:37:04 pm »

I didn't drink the blood yet. I just put it in a waterskin to save it for later. I am human btw.

I thought you immediately became a vampire. I guess I was wrong. Welp
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NAV

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #4 on: October 01, 2012, 08:36:26 pm »

After all the vampire slaying and stuff, I went in search of the capital, looking for more quests. The questing, it is addictive. Many bandits and beasts ambushed us on the way, but we killed them all and no-one was hurt. Then we arrived at the capital. A huge city, once magnificent but now crumbling and nearly empty. Stray cats roamed the streets. There was a huge keep in the center.

There I met a god, Disem shadowdeeps the hateful devil. He looked like a giant humanoid gecko, but made of sand. He gave me a full suit of armour, a well-made iron longsword, an iron shield, and I took a crutch just in case I broke a leg. Adventuring is dangerous you know. I also got 3 more followers. He gave me many quests to slay many things. Bandits, were-creatures, more vampires, evil twisted things, and a troublesome wolf or two. I did what he asked. Before long, I was legendary, both in skills and deeds.

Then the hateful devil gave me one more task. I was to kill a amphibian-man necromancer. He was in his tower visible from anywhere on the island. I went to kill him, thinking this would be as simple as any other quest. I took my band of warriors, now 15 strong, to assault the tower. I step through the door, met by hundreds of zombies and 3 necromancers, all human, none amphibian man. I run back out, and the zombies follow. For everyone we kill, 2 more take it's place. Before long, we are overwhelmed.

All my companions dead, and surrounded by zombies about to die, I use my last resort. I drink the vampire blood.

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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

MrWillsauce

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #5 on: October 01, 2012, 09:00:13 pm »

what's wrong with becoming a vampire in the beginning?
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Scow2

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #6 on: October 01, 2012, 09:07:46 pm »

what's wrong with becoming a vampire in the beginning?
Locks your stats as they are, so they can't improve any more.
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MrWillsauce

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #7 on: October 01, 2012, 09:08:31 pm »

Oh... I've been doing it all wrong! Please continue the story.
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Courtesy Arloban

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #8 on: October 01, 2012, 09:26:42 pm »

Necromancer's are recruitable?  I haven't had much luck recruiting bandit's lately.
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Maybe that the dwarves never died and everyone is just shunning them.
"Wait, what are you doing?  I don't want to go in there!  No, I'm still alive, you can't do this to me!  Is Anybody listening?  Hello... Can someone let me out?  Help me!  Is anyone there?  I'm running out of air!"

Rumrusher

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #9 on: October 01, 2012, 10:17:55 pm »

That's because necromancers are friendly to undead folks or those who bypass the "oppose life" check.
Well I could say necromancers are friendly to any one who don't piss off their undead pets.
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I thought I would I had never hear my daughter's escapades from some boy...
DAMN YOU RUMRUSHER!!!!!!!!
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Adventure in baby making!Adv Homes

NAV

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #10 on: October 01, 2012, 11:39:01 pm »

Nearly instantly, I could feel the power flowing through my body. I was no longer hungry, thirsty, or tired. More importantly, the undead stopped attacking me for I am undead too now. A necromancer, this one a man with only 9 fingers, came out collect our corpses to add to his army. There is one still alive(technically undead) hiding amongst the corpses! His head leaves his shoulders, slashed off by my sword. He never even saw me.

I step through the tower door, met my hundreds of zombies and two necromancers. This time, the zombies ignore me. The necromancers however, do not. They clumsily attack me with knives, obviously used to relying on their servants for protection. It is not a challenge. I went up to the second floor Hundreds of zombies, 3 more necromancers. Easy, though the zombies do get in the way a bit. I travel to the top of the tower, killing any necromancer I see. At the very top room there is a library full of books, and the cave-fish man necromancer Id Suitorbuttons waiting for me.(sorry I said amphibian man earlier, he was actually a cave-fish man). He wields a strange and ancient looking knife made of dolomite.

Id actually manages to put up a fight, bruising by left upper leg. No big deal. I choke him until he passes out, then suck his blood because I am a vampire and it is better to drink evil people's blood. Then I take the knife. It is not a very sharp knife, nor is it valuable. It is a nice little trinket though.

I search through the library. I find 3 books of note. The first tells about a minotaur and the location of its labyrinth. The second contains the secret's of life and death. I am now a necromancer, as well as a vampire. Lovely! The third however, is the most horrible of all, It concerns my god, Disem Shadowdeeps the Hateful Devil. It tells of how, in the year 5 of the modern era, the demon Sapi Hoodfrog the Shadow of Puzzling fooled the lost kingdom into believing that he was their god. I must kill him and make the truth known.
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

NAV

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #11 on: October 02, 2012, 07:35:27 pm »

I think I should've posted this in the stories section

I return to the capital city, where the demon usurper was. I went in the middle of the night, to avoid all the crazy fangirls and stuff. I am a hero you know. Armed with my new necromancer and vampire powers, I confronted it. "You are a night creature!" I said. "are you mad? I'm not a demon, i'm a god!" he replied, sure of himself. Then I threw the book at him. The shot glanced away, but it got the point across. He stood up tall, and shouted "I AM SAPI HOODFROG THE SHADOW OF PUZZLING! I HAVE KILLED THOUSANDS AND YOU ARE INSIGNIFICANT!"

He spat webs at me, but they missed. Then I threw my sword at him, and slashed off his left hand. This will be an easy fight if I can just avoid his webs. I couldn't, he tangled up my legs so I couldn't move. Then he just stood there, a few paces away, shooting more webs at me. "Come closer you coward." He doesn't so I decide to throw more stuff at him. Most of it misses or glances off, but a book severs his right leg, finally my shield severed his head when I threw it at him.

Then I worked my way out of his webs, using the dolomite knife I found. I go collect all my stuff, and a masterpiece bronze knife from the demon. I tried to raise him as an undead, but I guess it only works on organic bodies, not demons made of sand.

I leave the castle, by now it is daylight. An arrow pierces my foot, I can't walk. Someone shouts "there! there's the traitor. Get him!" But I was already gone. I am a master of disguise. I equip my crutch, heroes should always have a crutch with them. I leave the city through narrow alleyways, sometimes going through abandoned houses, or climbing on rooftops. I leave the city without having to kill a single innocent, though I did feed on a few alleycats.

I leave the city, heading for the coast. I have done enough for these people, and I don't think they wan't my help anymore.
« Last Edit: October 03, 2012, 10:42:05 pm by NAV »
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Highmax…dead, flesh torn from him, though his skill with the sword was unmatched…military…Nearly destroyed .. Rhunorah... dead... Mastahcheese returns...dead. Gaul...alive, still locked in combat. NAV...Alive, drinking booze....
The face on the toaster does not look like one of mercy.

Gaybarowner

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2012, 12:45:41 pm »

Someone grab the +Popcorn+?
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Sprin

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2012, 03:43:47 pm »

Stupid humans!
They dont even know the great deed youve done them and you will now forever be an outcast.
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Bataille

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Re: I have become a dark lord
« Reply #14 on: October 03, 2012, 08:20:14 pm »

They thought they could bring down the necromancer-vampire god-slayer with an arrow to the foot?

Great read so far!
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