PREVIOUS TURNNEXT TURN((Sorry Corai. I wasn't trying to mess you up this turn, but you happened to activate something that I already subtly established in the game. I can't tell you why some of your minions vanished, but I can give you some advice to prevent it happening again. Try doing something different next turn.))
MAKE UNIVERSE BIGGER AND BETTER.
MOVE THERE.
BECOME BENEVOLENT, EFFICIENT DICTATOR. ALSO IMMORTAL AND EFFECTIVE.
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-snip-
IMPEDE [misko27's] EXPANSION.
AID SUPERMEN DEFENSE. IMPEDE [misko27's] GAIN OF LOYALTY.
AID ATTACK ON CORAI, BECAUSE WHY NOT.
ALSO, CORAI HAS NOT NOTICED MY KOBOLD CAMP.
(5) YOU WATER YOUR EXCITING UNIVERSE. IT GETS BIGGER. YOU BECOME BENEVOLENT DICTATOR OF ALL ZERO LIFEFORMS WITHIN THE EXCITING UNIVERSE. YOU PLAY PRANKS ON MISKO27'S ANTI-SHIP, MAKING IT HARDER TO LAND AND CAPTURE MANY ASTEROIDS. ANTI-SHIP NOW THINK CONQUEST IS ANNOYING. YOU ARE TOO BUSY BUGGING ANTI-SHIP TO AID CORAI.
YES. I KNEW BACON WOULD SAVE US/
AGGRESIVELY EXPAND BACON EMPIRE TO ASTEROID BELT, CLAIMING CONTROL OF THAT SPACE
DEFEND THE SUPERMEN IN COURT TO GAIN LOYALTY
SEND SUPERMEN AFTER CORAI AND COVENANT.
MAKE FLAMING NUCLEAR FLYING BATTLESHIP CARRIERS. HAVE THEM ATTACK FORSAKEN111. CONTINUE KILLING SUPERMEN. CAPTURE SUN.
FIGHT TO DEFEND SOLAR SPACE. ENGAGE WITH HIS BATTLE SHIPS.
(5) ANTI-SHIP CLAIMS LOTS OF ASTEROIDS, BUT COMES BACK IN BAD MOOD. OTHER ANTI-SHIP ATTACKS FLAMING NUCLEAR FLYING BATTLESHIP CARRIERS. 1 FLAMING NUCLEAR FLYING BATTLESHIP CARRIER DESTROYED. ALL REMAINING SUPERMEN PATIENTLY AWAIT TRIAL AND CANNOT GO AFTER CORAI (ONES IN SHIP KILLED BY WSOXFAN BELOW).
HAVE SQUAD MATES CONTINUE ATTACKING CORRUPT GOVERNMENT BUILDINGS, RECRUIT SOLDIERS TO CAUSE.
(5) YOU DECIDE TO DO THE SAME EXACT THING YOU DID LAST TURN. ODDLY, SOME OF YOUR SQUAD MATES START VANISHING! GROUP NUMBER REMAINS ROUGHLY THE SAME AFTER RECRUITMENT, BUT LESS EXPERIENCED.
Achieve ultimate bacony form. Become the lead soldier of Misko, as would an ent for an elf.
(5) YOU BECOME THE CAPTAIN AMERICA OF BACON.
MAKE FLAMING NUCLEAR FLYING BATTLESHIP CARRIERS. HAVE THEM ATTACK FORSAKEN111. CONTINUE KILLING SUPERMEN. CAPTURE SUN.
(5) YOU SPEND 7400 IRON, 5000 OIL, AND 600 FLAMING WOOD MAKING 2 FLAMING NUCLEAR FLYING BATTLESHIP CARRIERS. RESOURCES: 0 IRON, 880 OIL, AND 99999999999999999999999997000 FLAMING WOOD. YOU SEND THEM INTO SUPER BLACK HOLE TO ATTACK KILLERFORHELL111. ONE IS DESTROYED BY ANTI-SHIP. YOU ATTACK SUPERMEN SHIP. SUPERMEN SHIP DESTROYED. NO SHIPS OR WSOXFANS FREE TO CAPTURE SUN THIS TURN.
>HAVE SANGHELIOS SWEAR FEALTY TO ME. RECRUIT SANGHEILI ARMED FORCES. FORM COVENANT AND BE THE SOLE PROPHET, SUPREME LEADER OF THE COVENANT.
(5) VIDEO GAMES ARE FUN. SHAME THEY AREN'T REAL, LIKE HOW POCKET DIMENSIONS AND BACON MERCURY ARE. GAINED SKILL: VERY GOOD AT HALO.
>USE POWERS OF REALITY POCKET DIMENSION TO MAKE IT REAL. AND UPGRADE FLEET POWER GENERATORS WITH ZPMS. FEND OFF SUPERMEN.
(5) WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO EARLIER? UNLIKE MOUNT&BLADE, HALO IS FICTION. YOU GET SUPER AWESOME HALO FLEET.
>MAKE LONG-DISTANCE PHONECALL TO SPINAL
>POINT OUT TO SPINAL THAT SPIRIT OF BACON WOULD MEAN SPIRIT OF PIGS, AND THUS OPPOSED TO BACON-EATING
>THUS, SPINAL IS ACTUALLY AGAINST MISKO
>ENJOY WARM FUZZY FEELING OF HAVING HELPED ANTI-BACON SQUAD
>THEN INITIATE MATING RITUAL WITH QUEEN
(5) YOU MAKE PRANK LONG-DISTANCE COLLECT CALL. NOW SPINAL OWES MONEY TO THE PHONE COMPANY. VERY CLEVER TACTIC! GAINED SKILL: TACTICAL GENIUS. THEN YOU SEX WITH QUEEN. QUEEN RELATIONSHIP ALREADY AT MAX! FORNICATION LVL 2!
Defend Corai with cybermice! Use random strange mood secret project of doom stuff that is epicly awesome powers!!! Use the result to assault Moon! ALSO USE THE CYBERMICE WITH FIRE POWERS! We don't want Anti Anti bacon crime squad! PERMABAN PHOENIX WRIGHT WRONG!
(5) CYBERMICE USE GOOD FIRE TO CANCEL MOST OF GOOMBAGEEK'S BAD FIRE. CORAI ONLY SUNBURNED. CYBERMOUSE COMES UNDER FEY MOOD, CREATES FLAMING WOODEN UNDERGARMENTS (-1 FLAMING WOOD). MOON IS CUT IN HALF BY POWER OF FLAMING WOODEN UNDERGARMENTS! CYBERMICE PRACTICE FIRE POWERS. CYBERMICE FIRE-MANIPULATION LVL 2! WHAT IS PERMABAN?
Get Supermen a Guilty verdict.
Sue misko27 and GreatWyrmGold.
(5) YOU BRIBE JURY. YOU FIND RAT HEAD IN FOOD AND SUE MISKO27 and GREATWYRMGOLD. ACQUIRED ITEM: PILE OF MONEY THAT USED TO BELONG TO MISKO27 AND GREATWYRMGOLD.
HAVE EARTH BECOME ANGRY AT ANTI BACON SQUAD AND COVENANT AND HELP MOON.
(5) YOU SPREAD PROPAGANDA THAT ANTI-BACON SQUAD CAUSED EARTH TO DIE THAT ONE TIME, AND THAT IT CAUSES GLOBAL WARMING. EARTH NOW HATES ANTI-BACON SQUAD. GAINED SKILL: PROPAGANDA
> BURN CORAI
> BURN KOBOLDS
> BURN SUPERMAN
> BURN WORLD
(5) CYBERMICE PREVENT FULL BURNING OF CORAI. THERE ARE NO KOBOLDS. YOU LIGHT SUPERMAN (NOT SUPERMEN) ON FIRE WITH KRYPTONITE FIRE. ENTIRE EARTH NOW ON FIRE.
FLIP EXISTENCE INSIDE OUT
NOW I ON INSIDE
(5) TECHNICALLY ON INSIDE, BUT INSIDE STILL EMPTY. PLACES TO CONQUER STILL ON SIDE YOU ARE NOT ON. IT IS LIKE THE UNIVERSE IS WEARING ITS SHIRT INSIDE-OUT.
USE CHARISMA TO PERSUADE THE MOB TO COME OUT OF ITS ROOM. HAVE MOB ATTACK CRACKPOT IN ORDER TO GET OVER DEPRESSION
(5) MOB GAINS NEW LEASE ON LIFE. MOB KILLS CRACKPOT.
NPC ACTIONS:
(5) LARGE MOB OF HAPPY PEOPLE MAD AT 10EBBOR10 EVOLVES INTO HORDE OF HAPPY PEOPLE MAD AT 10EBBOR10.
(1) CATSPLOSION FORGETS TO EAT TODAY. CATSPLOSION NOW ONLY CATS.
(?) EVERYWHERE IN THE SOLAR SYSTEM INSECTS AND OTHER SMALL CREATURES GUIDED MOSTLY BY INSTINCT SEEM TO BE EVACUATING SOLAR SYSTEM. PERHAPS THEY ARE RUNNING FROM SOME UNKNOWN INCOMING THREAT?
GreatWyrmGold: IS AWESOMELY SELF-PRESERVING, CANNOT BE KILLED, HAS NUKE AND RADIATION SUIT, HAS BIG EXCITING UNIVERSE
dermonster: IS AWESOME, CAN DERM STUFF
Caerwyn: IS AWESOME SIDEKICK
killerforhell1111: IS SLIME KING OF AWESOME, FUSION OF KILLERHELLHOUND AND FORSAKEN1111, INSIDE SUPER BLACK HOLE
Yoink: IS AWESOMELY SEDUCTIVE, MAX RELATIONSHIP WITH KILLERFORHELL1111's QUEEN , HAS AWESOME MANSION, IS VEGETARIAN, SLAVE MINES (+100 IRON EACH TURN), TACTICAL GENIUS, LVL 2 FORNICATOR
Greenstarfanatic: IS AWESOME WINGMAN, HAS LOTS OF BEER
10ebbor10: IS AWESOME SABOTEUR x 2
anailater: IS AWESOME SIDEKICK
RTD: IS AWESOME MAGICIAN
Kedly: IS SUPER AWESOME RUBIX-CUBE-POOPMAGICIAN
pisskop: IS AWESOME DWARF ADOPTED BY CATS, HAS UBER-SHIP AND CAT ARMY
Tavik Toth: IS AWESOME WARMONGER, HAS TNSBCCSST, IS VERY GOOD AT MASS EFFECT, DOESN'T HATE EARTH LIKE ALL YOU OTHER CRAZY PEOPLE, IS AWESOME ALLIANCE-FOUNDER, GOOD AT PROPAGATING PROPAGANDA
Donuts: IS AWESOME MOUSE GOD, HAS GALAXY, HAS MOUSE HOLE, HAS FIRE CYBERMOUSE MINIONS, HAS ASTRAL DIPLOMACY SKILLS, IS RICH, VICE PRESIDENT OF MARS AND SECRETARY OF STATE OF MARS, HAS CYBERMOUSE PUPPET KING, FRIENDS WITH ABCS, HAS FLAMING WOODEN UNDERGARMENTS
Misko27: IS AWESOMELY BACON AVATAR, HAS BACON VISION AND SWORD, FOUNDER OF BACON RELIGION, HAS SOMEWHAT REDUNDANT ADDITIONAL BACON POWER, RULER OF BECONURY, HEAD OF THE BACONIC COUNCIL, FRIENDS WITH MOON TYRANT, HAS ONE HAPPY ANTI-SHIPS, HAS ONE ANNOYED ANTI-SHIP, HAS ASTEROIDS
Joben: IS AWESOME SPEAR THROWER
Spinal_Taper: ARE AWESOME BIONICLES, RULES CALDARIA, HIRED PLAYER CHARACTER IN MOUNT&BLADE WARBANDS, GRADUATED TO MOUNT&BLADE 2, IS CAPTAIN AMERICA OF BACON, OWES PHONE COMPANY
jetex1911: IS AWESOME CTHULZUES
wsoxfan: IS AWESOME NUCLEAR SKY-LAND-BATTLESHIP PILOT, OWNS MARS, HAS 13 NUCLEAR BATTLESHIP CARRIERS, HAS 0 IRON, 880 OIL, AND 99999999999999999999999996999 FLAMING WOOD, CONTROLS JUPITER AND SATURN
Xantalos: IS AWESOMELY ANTI-MATH, LEGENDARY COOK, CAN TRANSFORM INTO OLD SPICE GUY, IS RICH, OLD SPICE GUY FORM (3 TURNS), SMELLS NICE, ONLY (KNOWN) BEING INSIDE OF EXISTENCE
da_nang: IS AWESOME SEVERAL-TIME DESTROYER OF REALITY, ALSO HAS REALITY POCKET DIMENSION, ABOVE-AVERAGE HEALTH REGENERATION, IS VERY GOOD AT HALO, HAS SUPER AWESOME HALO FLEET
Praecordia: IS AWESOME CHARMISMATIC ANTI-HERO, OWNS LARGE MOB OF PEOPLE MAD AT 10EBBOR10, HAS LESSER POWER OF RAGE
Tiruin: IS AWESOME PARKOURIST
bukitodinos: IS AWESOME POKEMON PLAYER
Corai: IS AWESOME LEADER OF ABCS, IS SUPER-MOTIVATED, IS SUNBURNED
Fireiy: IS AWESOMELY JUDICIAL, OWNER OF BOTTOMLESS WAD OF CASH, HATES WHEN OTHERS MAKE MONEY, HAS PILE OF MISKO27 AND GREATWYRMGOLD'S MONEY.
GoombaGeek: IS AWESOME ARSONIST, HAS PLUTONIUM
LordSlowpoke: IS AWESOME SPACEMOONWALKER
GUNINANRUNIN: IS AWESOME OWNER OF ANTI-DIMENSIONAL COLOSSEUM
miauw62: IS AWESOME CRATER-CREATOR, HAS EXPLODING SKILLS LVL 2
QUEEN: STILL TECHNICALLY MARRIED TO KILLERFORHELL1111, ELOPED WITH YOINK, LIVES IN AWESOME MANSION
Praecordia's HORDE OF HAPPY PEOPLE MAD AT 10EBBOR10: IS COMPLETELY LOYAL TO PRAECORDIA, HAS LONGSWORD
CATS: LOYAL TO PISSKOP, HAS CATNIPSPLOSION, WELL RESTED
EARTH MILITARY: IN SPACE DEAD
SUPERMEN: VAIN, STUPID, HAVE SPACESHIP, NEARLY EXTINCT