focus on training ourselves up. Lets try and make the ninja classes work
keep working on and invest in our thieving/ninja skills
Seconded.
I do think the ninja classes are a solid investment.
Instructor Hayes: "So, that's the class. Is this something you want to do?"
You: "Yes. I'll have to rearrange some of my college classes, but I'd like to start immediately."
You have only $379 in cash on you, so he proposes that you pay $300 for registration and uniform now, and simply bring in $100 for your first month when you come to class on Tuesday. You agree (-$300) then follow him back to his house to pick out a uniform.
To your surprise, the uniform is...complicated. In fact you have no idea how to put it on, and instructor Hayes has to explain a lot of it to you.
Instructor Hayes: "The bottoms are worn like regular pants. Though you'll notice two sets of sealable pockets on each leg for concealing knives, caltrops, etc. Also note the drawstrings on the bottoms. Tie those off for now, and we'll finish the legs in a moment."
You: "...uhh, ok. Like this?"
Instructor Hayes: "Yes. That's it. Next, the top is a regular gi top."
You: "Gi?"
Instructor Hayes: "Martial arts uniform. The top piece we use is standard for most Japanese martial arts. Put it on like a jacket, then fold the right lapel over your chest and tie the string. Next, the left lapel over the top and tie it too. You'll notice that it can be folded either way, but left over right is traditional. Right over left is generally used for corpses at funerals."
You: "Wow. Ok. This is a lot to remember."
Instructor Hayes: "Next, the boots."
You: "I guess they couldn't have just been laces, huh?"
Instructor Hayes: "Ha! No. Slide your feet into them. First thing you'll notice is that it divides the toes, big toe in one slot and four toes in the other. This allows you to pick up objects with your feet-"
You: "...what? Seriously?"
Instructor Hayes: "-and generally makes climbing much easier. If you ever get the chance, try climbing a chainlink fence in these. It will be fast."
You: "...right. Chainlink fence. I'll try that."
Instructor Hayes: "Now, neatly fold and wrap the bottoms of the leggings near the drawstring around the back of your calf so that it lays flat, then pull the cloth of the boots up over the top. Now, you see those little metal inserts?"
You: "Yes."
Instructor Hayes: "You'll find two sets of loops for each one. Start at the bottom and slide each insert into a loop. Make them as tight as you can."
You: "...this is really hard."
Instructor Hayes: "Yes, it takes some practice. I'll come back in a few minutes."
After about ten minutes of increasing frustration that borders on anger, you eventually manage to secure the boots. You just can't imagine any reason for designing shoes to be this complicated and difficult to put on. Though...once they're on, you admit they do feel very...you're not sure how to describe it. Solid?
Instructor Hayes: "Next, the shin guards. Take these and wrap them over your calves...all the way around, and secure them in the back. Pull the pant legs up slightly to make it a biit baggy around your thighs. You should have a full range of motion in your legs and hips without the cloth ever becoming taut."
You: "Wow. These make it feel like I'm wearing armor on my legs."
Instructor Hayes: "You are. That's exactly what these are. These are made of heavy cloth rather than metal, but between the tabi and the covers you have about half a centimeters of canvas on your shins. I don't recommend you go kicking any trees just yet, but with a little practice you could, and without losing any flesh. Also, if at some point you do want metal inserts, they'll fit snugly between the boots and the covers. Though we don't practice like that since it can easily result in injury to your partner."
You: "Huh. Ok."
Instructor Hayes: "Next, the arm guards."
Instructor Hayes: "Slide these on over the top of the the arms of your gi top, and place your middle finger through the loop. Like the legs, this keeps the uniform from noisily flapping around and catching on things, gives an extra layer of protection, and you'll notice that if you make a fist, your hand will be completely obscured behind the cloth...all while retaining the fingers and hand for precise control and sensitivity. You probably wouldn't want to try throwing shuriken while wearing gloves, for example.
You: "Shuriken?"
Instructor Hayes: "Throwing stars. Finally, since we don't practice with the hood, the last thing to put on is your belt.
(He shows you
how to put on the belt)
Instructor Hayes: "Note that I don't require students to wear their belt during class. It does secure the waist, but it also gives an opponent excellent handgrips to use against you. I'll leave it up to you. But either way, be sure to bring it to every class since we do use them regularly for practice."
You: "What for?"
Instructor Hayes: "As weapons."
You: "Weapons? A belt? How?"
Amused by your incredulous look he removes his belt, folds it in half, holds it with both hands about a foot and a half apart and asks you to come at him. Punch, kick, whatever. You bring your hands up in a guard like you saw the other students doing earlier, make a fist, then push it out at him. He casually makes a whipping motion with the middle portion of the belt between his hands and pushes your arm out of the way.
Instructor Hayes: "Faster."
You pull your arm back...focus your eyes them punch out at him again. Again, he casually deflects it with the belt.
Instructor Hayes: "No, look...I understand that you're trying to not hurt me here, but...really attack me. These punches you're throwing wouldn't hit me even if I just stood here. Attack
me. Don't just leisurely put your fist out in the air in my general direction."
You blink a couple more times. Now that he's pointed it out...yeah, you weren't actually attacking him. Does he really want you to? You don't want to accidentally hurt him...but maybe that's just a silly notion? I mean, after all...he's supposed to be a ninja master, right? So you sink your knees deeper and tense your whole body...focusing on a spot on his chest and how you're going to totally wail on that spot. For his part, Instructor Hayes merely stands there looking completely relaxed. Then in a furious burst you yell out and punch!
You: "HYaa!!!!rrggmmmff"
Sensations. A noise. Can't breathe. Vertigo. No...not vertigo, you really are moving. Then silence.
Apparently you're now laying on your back with him to your left with his left knee on your chest. It's a familiar position. But unlike last time, instead of his hand at your throat your neck is completely wrapped up in his belt.
Instructor Hayes: "And now, simply by pulling I can apply pressure to your neck. A little more and I can crush your windpipe. A little less, and a bit lower, and I can keep you from breathing or speaking. Go ahead and try."
You: "mmmghhmm"
Instructor Hayes: "By the way, don't look where you're going to punch. It makes it obvious where you're going to attack."
He removes the belt from your neck and helps you up.
Instructor Hayes: "So then. See you Tuesday night?"
On your drive back you try to reconstruct in your mind what happened when you punched him. You're not totally sure. You remember looking at his chest. You remember punching. Then you heard a snapping noise that you're pretty sure was made by the belt. You think he opened up the middle between the layers of folded belt, looped your hand between them then yanked his hands apart to trap your wrist in the middle. Then there was some sort of twisting motion and his whole body moved...somehow he placed himself under your punching arm, right up against your side...and you think he flipped you over his back...somehow. It all happened so fast, and no matter how many times you play it over in your mind you just don't remember how you ended up on your back. Also, disturbingly...for some reason you don't remember
seeing anything. You remember the sensations, the sounds, the feeling of your arm and torso being stretched as he casually tossed you through the air...no, wait. That's not right. You were never fully airborne. At some point the belt moved from your wrist to your neck, and that's what he used to throw you...but, he also kept your body fully in contact with his and you think he had an arm wrapped around you during the throw. Maybe that's how you ended up on your back? Or did he position you after landed?
You don't remember.
I would consider paying for Gilbert to accompany us to the ninja lessons...
I would consider paying for Gilbert to accompany us to the ninja lessons...
+1
dragging gilbert along and paying for him may be a bit excessive
I dont recommend mixing our friends from class with our current ones too quickly
You think about Gilbert. In a way he's obviously the one holding the rest of you back. Stan and Clara can obviously hold their own physically, and you're at least working on it. Gilbert...if the four of you were to go out to do something...he'd be the one to get caught. And if taken for questioning, he'd probably tell any interrogator everything. He's a weak link. You're considering paying to have him take ninja classes with you. But at the same time, you've been becoming a bit concerned about expenses. Maybe you could talk him into paying his own way? No...probably not. The guy doesn't even have a car, and he's the kind of guy who always orders water with dinner to save a couple dollars on soda.
Actually, you don't have a car either. You're still borrowing your mother's. Well...anyway, it couldn't hurt to ask. You can always decide later. You give him a call.
You: "Hey, Gilbert. I'm taking ninjutsu. You want you join me?"
Gilbert: "Ninjutsu? Like how to be a ninja?"
You: "Well, it's mostly the martial arts side of it so far rather than sneaking around, but yes. You interested?"
(Silence.)
You: "Is that a yes?"
Gilbert: "Uhh...do they even have ninja classes in this country? Or this century, for that matter?"
You: "Yes, I found a school in Mission Viejo. Classes are Tuesday and Thursday nights, and Saturdays. How would that work with your school schedule?"
Gilbert: "All my classes are in the mornings, so fine. What about you? Don't you have weeknight classes?"
You: "Yes, I'll probably have to drop anthropology, but I can live with that. Anyway, I'll text over the website to you. Read it over, and if you decide you want to check it out send an email to the instructor for an appointment to observe a class. If you decide you want to do this...I'll pay for it."
Gilbert: "Wow, really?
You: "Yeah. We've been friends for how long?"
Gilbert: "Since 5th grade."
You: "Since 5th grade, right. And I think this would be fun for us to do together."
Gilbert: "Out of curiosity, where are you getting the money for this?"
...oops. So far you haven't mentioned to anyone that you won the lottery. It just hadn't seemed important to go out of your way to tell anyone, and now that you think about it...you're not certain you want them to know.
You: "Oh, well...it's not that expensive. Anyway, I've got to go, so think about it and we'll talk later."
The next few days proceed uneventfully with your usual workout routine. You stop by the bank and withdraw some cash ($1000 from checking to cash on hand). You also send some messages to Stan and Clara to see what they're up to, but they're apparently both busy with something or another. Stan's message mentioned something about some kind of family event, but Clara never responded. You hope she's ok.
Tuesday, Feb 4, 2013You're all excited for your first day of class. You've gone ahead and withdrawn from anthropology, and you experimented briefly with climbing chainlink fences in your new tabi boots. Curiously, while having two toes makes it easy to hook in and use the fence as a stepping stool, you find that it's a bit slower than hopping over the fence completely like you've done before.
You get dressed in your uniform, and then get into an argument with your mother. Apparently she had plans to go shopping tonight and expected to use the car. Her car, she reminds you. You ask her nicely, and offer to fill the tank, and she agrees...provided you also pick up some items from the grocery store for her while you're out. You agree, but it occurs to you that this could become a problem later on if you don't find your own transportation.
Instructor Hayes: "Bob. Glad you made it.
You: "Thanks. Glad to be here."
(-$100)
(New expense: -$100/month ninjutsu classes)
The class turns out to be in his garage. So much for the "super secret location" you imagined. The first 10 minutes of class involve...well, you're not sure how to describe it. The various students line up in rows and...walk. Sort of. The instructor seems very concerned with making sure that you walk in a
very specific way. You're supposed to bend your knees so that your head remains at a constant height and doesn't "bounce" up and down as you walk. You're supposed to keep your chest upright and facing very specific directions relative to the rest of your body. You're supposed to keep your feet and ankles pointed in very specific directions. That especially confuses you. You're used to walking...you know, with your toes pointed in the direction you're going. Very often in these exercises, that's not how you move. For example,
in one exercise you're supposed to move leading with your ankle while your toes trail behind at an angle as you slide your foot forward with knees bent. It's all very awkward.
This is followed by anther ten minutes of assorted rolls. And falls. And rolls where you fall and falls where you roll and rolls where you smack the mats, and sometimes just smacking the mats for the sake of smacking them.
Ninjutsu rolling exercisesNot only is it complicated, and tiring...it hurts. Sometimes you don't really understand what you're supposed to be doing, and the pain of hitting the ground makes it extremely clear that you're not doing it right. Plus your legs are getting tired from constantly walking around with your weight sunk down deep into your knees. Sure, you've been jogging almost every day, but 20 minutes of jogging isn't nearly as tiring as walking around for twenty minutes with knees bent enough to make yourself 6 inches shorter, which between the walking and rolling exercises, you've now done. You're starting to feel tired, and sore, and your body hurts from impacting the ground, and there's no clock anywhere, but you wonder how much longer before the class is over.
Next, the class is divided into small groups and you practice...actual fighting techniques. (Gasp!) It only now occurs to you to think it odd that the class would be almost over by the time you actually got around to doing any combat stuff. (The class is almost over, right? Isn't it?) Fortunately, your group has three people so you get a fair amount of down time while each of you take turns. The other two will each practice an arm manipulation or pressure point technique to take each other to the ground, while you watch. Then once both of them have gone, you try it.
You: "Is that it?"
Your partner: "No...try a little bit more to the left."
You: "How about now? Does that hurt?"
Your partner: "...ok, now press more with the thumb."
You: "Like that?"
Your partner: "...well, yes...but you're losing your grip with the rest of your hand. If you need to, use your other hand for extra support. Ok. Now push with your thumb."
You: "Ok. There. Do you feel it?"
Your partner: "Well, a bit. Sort of."
You: "I notice you're not falling to the ground in agony, or anything. Could you show me again how you did it so I can see it in practice?"
Your partner: "Sure. Here you-"
You: "GAH!" *thump*
You're really tired of hitting the ground. And now your arms hurt from all the awkward pulling and twisting involved with the takedown techniques.
Instructor Hayes: "Ok, next let's do some kicking drills."
(10 minutes later)
Instructor Hayes: "Ok, next let's do some striking techniques."
(10 minutes later)
Instructor Hayes: "Ok, next let's do some defense techniques from shizen no kamae."
You: "...?"
(10 minutes later)
Instructor Hayes: "Ok, next let's do some..."
It's all starting to become a blur. You're tired. You're sore. You hurt.
Instructor Hayes: "Ok. Everyone take a five minute break."
Break? What? The class isn't over yet?
Instructor Hayes: "So, Bob. How are you holding up? You made it to break without throwing up. That's really good."
You: "I would laugh...but you're being serious, aren't you?"
Instructor Hayes: "Absolutely. About one in three of my students puke on their first day. You're holding up really well."
You: "Thanks."
The second hour of the class is a bit of a blur. You're pretty much exhausted to the point that you're not really doing anything anymore. You're just kind of going through the motions. Eventually, however, it does end, and you say your goodnight's to everyone and head....oh, that's right. To the grocery store (-$25) and to refill the gas tank. (-$40). Then home.
To bed.
You wake up a little after noon the following day. It's difficult to move. You have sore muscles in places that you didn't realize you had muscles. In fact, you struggle even to get out of bed and have to sort of sideways slide out, because your stomach muscles won't allow you to sit up properly. You stumble to the kitchen and get some food. Then you go back to bed. You skip your Wedneday class at the college, and spend most of the day lounging around the house.
Thursday night, Feb 6, 2013Still sore, you return for your second class.
Gilbert: "Hey, Bob."
You: "Oh. Hey, Gilbert. I guess you decided to show up and watch a class?"
Gilbert: "Yeah, couldn't make it Tuesday, but I figured I'd come tonight and watch. Not sure I want to do this, but it sounds interesting.
The Thursday night class is, in a way, easier than Tuesday. But mostly only because you're still so sore that you're not putting much effort into the class. Nobody says anything. You suspect they realize that you're still sore from Tuesday and it might take a few weeks before you can adjust to the level of intensity required to last the two full hours. Taking it easy on your muscles doesn't spare you from the pain of repeated ground impacts, though, and you're pretty sure you're adding bruises on top of bruises by now.
The funny thing though, is that you just don't understand how it can be so exhausting. It's not like anyone is doing anything especially strenuous. There are no situps, no pushups, no jumping jacks, no weights, no...nothing that looks like it's intended to work any muscles. A lot of it is just walking around, standing with your knees bent and moving relatively slowly while moving around in awkward poses.
That's another thing that surprises you. There's not a whole lot of punching. Sure, there's some. But it seems like there's a lot more kicking and using your forearm to attack than your knuckles. And a lot of body movement. Very rarely do you do techniques that involve just punching a guy. Usually it's things like smashing your forearm into their collar bone, or twisting their wrist and taking them to the ground. Or in some cases, bashing their skull into a wall. That also surprises you. At first you'd thought that holding the class in a garage was kind of tacky, but the instructor makes a lot of use of the environment in his lessons.
Instructor Hayes: "You won't always be in a huge open warehouse, so why practice fighting in one? Walls are tools, just like your body. Anything can be a weapon, not just your body. The ground, the flat of a wall, the corner where walls meet, a chair, a table...anything can be a weapon."
That seems an immensely practical way to look at it. But the result is exhausting.
(New skill: Dabbling ninjutsu student)
After class, the instructor approaches Gilbert, but he seems very hesitant to sign up. He says he needs a few days to think about it. You can probably convince him either way, but you're pretty sure he won't bring it up again if you don't.
You check your messages when you get home. Clara sent you a message assuring you that she's ok, but very busy with something or another. You're not sure, but from the background noise in her message you think she's at a very loud party. You also get an email from Michael, your property manager in Ohio. Apparently he's found another property that might interest you.
Michael: "It's a three bedroom house about 15 miles from here. Good condition, big yard, 3 bedrooms, 2 baths, 2.5 car garage. Seller's asking $23,900 for it.
You: "Why so cheap? A 3 bedroom house where I am would be $350,000 to half a million."
Michael: "Sure, but California is notoriously expensive. And you're in Orange County, right?"
You: "Yeah. So?"
Michael: "So that happens to be one of the most expensive places in the entire world to live. I'm sure you could go to one of those half million dollar homes, and find something similar for a third the price within a half hour drive. It's all about location. When we
last spoke three weeks ago you said you wanted to focus on cheaper homes, so that's what I've been looking at. If you want to bump your price range up to the sixty to eighty thousand dollar range, I could give you pages of listings right now. This is a cheaper property, maybe a bit older than some of the surrounding properties, but still perfectly serviceable. If we rent it out for $400/month I'm sure I can have a tenant in there by the end of the week. Honestly...if you ask me, this isn't as good a deal as the one you turned down a few weeks ago. That was a great deal, and you stood to gain $30,000 in equity on day one. But it would have required you to pay $92,000, and you said you didn't want to take out a loan. This is, in my opinion...an "ok" deal. But it's in the price range you said you wanted.
You: "Ok. Thanks. I appreciate you bringing this to me. Let me run the numbers and I'll get back to you."
Current StatusWhat do you do?
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Topic: You are a Suburban Supervillain (Read 61817 times)