Monday morning, Jan 28, 2013Thermite
You give Gilbert a call.
You: "Hey, Gilbert. What do you know about thermite?"
Gilbert: "It's a pyrotechnic composition of any metal powder and metal oxide that produces an exothermic oxidation-reduction."
You: "...what is that in English?"
Gilbert: "Mix aluminum powder and iron rust, ignite it with a magnesium camping strip and you can burn holes in things like car engine blocks."
You: "Awesome! If I wanted to...
acquire some thermite...how would I go about it?"
Gilbert: "Well, personally when I've made it I've always done done it via electrolysis and a lot of hand filling. But if you want to do it the quick and easy way just buy the stuff online. It's pretty cheap,"
You: "...wait.
You've made thermite?"
Gilbert: "Sure. Probably half of everyone I know has. It's just one of those things you make for fun. Like potato cannons, leyden jars, oobleck, that kind of thing.
You: "What's oobleck?"
Gilbert: "It's a non-Newtonian fluid made from corn starch and water. It acts kind of like the Holtzman lasgun shields from Dune. 'The slow blade penetrates the shield.' Hehehe. You know, right?"
You: "...uhhh...yeah. Hehehe. Funny. Well, thanks for the help. Gotta go, see you around."
You have no idea what most of what he said meant, but sure enough, 5 seconds on google finds you some materials suppliers for thermite:
http://scienceforyou.net/thermite/So, $24 plus shipping for two pounds of thermite. Hmm. So, what would that be able to do? You check youtube and find some helpful videos.
Two pounds of thermite vs a computerTen pounds of thermite vs a turkey1000 pounds of thermite vs carHmm. Interesting, but not quite as destructive as you'd imagined. But while looking through the videos you video another interesting matieral: tannerite. And, of course, some relevant videos:
One pound of tannerite vs a piano25 pounds of tannerite vs a house30 pounds of tannerite vs a truckHmm. So...how difficult to tannerite to come by? Once agin, google provides a number of suppliers.
http://www.outdoorgearbarn.com/search.aspx?SearchTerm=tannerite...huh. So, $60 plus shipping for ten pounds. Cheaper than the thermite, but like the thermite, completely legal to buy, sell and own, and no special
HAZMAT requirements. Apparently, like thermite, tannerite is composed of two ingredients, both of which are completely stable on their own. So they're shipped in separate containers and you mix them yourself.
You lean back in your chair and frown. You were never really a science geek like Gilbert, but you kind of figured that explosives would be...you know,
harder to get. The fact that you can just mail order the stuff for less money than some people pay every month for their cell phone bill...it just feels like pulling the curtain to reveal that the Great and Powerful Wizard of Oz is just an old guy in booth. But on other other hand, while doing your research you
also find a number of news videos of
people arrested for blowing up cars and things using explosives bought online.
Watching the videos, you guess that it might be prudent to not have the stuff mailed to your house, or to blow it up in your backyard. But it looks like acquiring it won't be terribly difficult.
We aren't too fit, and muscles take time to build, but maybe technique will be easier to learn. Let's see if we can't be a ninja.
On a whim, since everything else you've thought would be difficult recently has turned out to be pretty easy, you type "how to be a ninja" into google. You're not even surprised when you find a wikihowto guide:
http://www.wikihow.com/Train-to-Be-a-Ninja-With-a-Low-BudgetA little extra searching, and you discover that by some bizarre coincidence, it happens that there's a high ranking
Ninujtsu master who offers classes in nearby Mission Viejo. That's about 10 miles south on the freeway. Unfortunately classes are Tuesdays and Thursday nights, which conflicts with your school schedule. You could drop classes, you suppose. Or maybe you could see if the instructor is available for private lessons. There's also a Saturday class during the day, but the website specifies that they only accept "serious" students who are able to train regularly and diligently. They might not take you if you're only taking one class per week. Still, you could probably at least watch the Saturday class to find out more about it if you wanted to. Though if you do decide to take classes, since they get out at 9pm, you probably wouldn't be able to take the bus home and your mother has already started grumbling about how often you borrow her car.
how to start a career in politics
We should do this.
Huh. So, thermite, explosives and becoming a ninja all appear to be options. What about getting into politics? Google hasn't failed you yet, so you type "how to get into politics" into the search box. Ironically, this appears to be far more complicated than the other topics you've researched. Much of the information you find seems oriented towards "making a difference" by lobbying, or working as an aide or campaign staffer. You're more interested in
becoming a politician than promoting specific reforms.
Searching along that topic, most of the information you come across seems to focus on two methods:
*
"Becoming involved." From what you can tell, it looks like the political parties have a lot of clout. With whom or why, you're not entirely certain. If you're running for president, yes, sure...you understand that a lot of people vote for a party rather than a candidate. Third party candidates don't tend to do well in presidential bids, for example. And, the actual candidate is selected by the party itself, through various methods. So...to become a likely presidential candidate, it's pretty much necessary to "play the social game" by being involved with and highly visible and liked within a party.
Honestly, it kind of reminds you of high school, and you were never one of the cool kids.
*
"Start small, and just run for office."A number of guides also advise simply choosing a small local office, and running for it. Become mayor, sit on the board of supervisors, etc.
For your
local city of Irvine:
The City Council is comprised of the Mayor and four City Council members who are elected at large by registered voters of the City. Councilmembers each serve a four-year term and the Mayor serves a two-year term. The City of Irvine has a two-term limit for elected officials. "Unfortunately the last election was in November, and the terms are two years. So the next election for Irvine City Coucnil won't be until 2014.
What about the county? Elected positions for the
County of Orange: are Assessor, Auditor-Controller, Clerk-Recorder, District Attorney, Public Administrator, Sheriff-Coroner and Treasurer-Tax Collector.
You're not entirely sure what some of those positions even do, but you figure that's probably a good thing. Everybody knows who the president is, but the guy who gets voted into an office like "Clerk-Recorder" is probably just the guy who put up the most signs on street corners so people recognized the name. It's probably not hugely difficult to get voted into an office like that, though you're guessing it's probably fairly expensive since you'd need to pay for advertising. Thousands of dollars on sign printing...you'd probably need to hire people to put them up all over town...you'd want to have a website made...you'd probably need to buy an expensive suit to look presentable...maybe some television and radio and newspaper ads...the expenses could really add up, and it wouldn't even be a certain thing that you'd win.
In any case, unfortunately the election for these positions was
also in November, so the next election is years away.
Something for the future, perhaps.
You spend the next few days engaging in your usual routine: working out, jogging, classes, etc. A few notable events happen:
Wednesday, Jan 30, 2013On Wednesday, you take a quick shortcut during your morning jog, and you happen to notice a chainlink fence separating one parking lot from another. You think back to your late night excursion with Stan and Clara two weeks ago. Cautiously, you approach the fence.
You stare at the fence for a few moments. You remember the last time you tried this it took a good 40 seconds. But it's been a few weeks, you've been working out...and you think it's time to try again. Cautiously, you touch the fence...then let go. You put a foot on it and imagine yourself vaulting over it like Stan and Clara did. You kind of think you can do it...but...you're not really sure. You let go and frown at it.
Then in a moment of anger, you throw yourself at the fence and yank
hard on the top with your hands. For a brief moment all you see is a blur, and the next thing you know your feet hit the ground, you lose your balance and you fall over and land on your right thigh.
Not exactly elegant. But you did it.
You climb over normally coming back. It's pretty fast, and not a big deal. You lack the practiced ease demonstrated by the others, but you're pretty sure if you were being chased and needed to get over a fence in a hurry, you could do it. You're actually a bit confused why it took you so long the first time. You do feel stronger from your past two weeks of working out, but there's no way just two weeks would make that much difference. Probably just a confidence thing.
Friday, feb 1, 2013A check and a few bills come in.
(+$350 rental income from Dayton, Ohio property)
(-$100 payment to Michael, your property manager)
(-$35 cellphone payment)
Current StatusWhat do you do?