Put me down in the "I understand the ANSI-like better than graphical tilesets" camp. (Not to poo-poo those who applied their considerable artistic skills towards making the replacement tilesets. I think there's some good stuff in there, I just don't understand the many varied representations of, say, creatures as well as I do the 'character' versions.)
As mentioned, if you're not sure what you're looking for, 'v' and 'k' (and various deeper menus) give you all the information you need, and pausing You can pause whenever you like, indeed for most management issues (except for squad control, in fact, if I have it right) most of the time you're not just watching things happen you are paused. You can look at the entire map, investigate the thoughts of every single unit, find the location (with a good enough Manager) of every single item, assign and de-assign jobs galore, etc, etc, etc, all in a single dwarven heartbeat.
You'll get used to what you're seeing, understanding what's probably happening in the background, work out how to jump easily between points or units of interest, etc... (Whatever graphical system you're using.) Bear with it, and keep poking away.
And, of course, don't be afraid of 'losing' and starting over again. "Losing is fun!", after all. If not !!fun!!...