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[misko27]

...
Jesus?
...
Interpreting that as "raptor-jesus"
...
RETURN TO EARTH AND LEAD RESISTANCE TO FIGHT LEGIONS OF HELL.

[4] You are raptor-Jesus, whatever that is.
[4] What is wrong with this die? The invasion establishes a beachhead on Earth.

Let me explain how to find out

Also, thank you die.
CONSOLIDATE CONTROL OF NEARBY AREA
PURIFY NEAREST TEMPLE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OF AREA.

[Furtuka]

Posess the moon

[GreatWyrmGold]

Oookay, that's what I thought it was...

[GreatWyrmGold]

Dammit, try respawning again. As a magma para-elemental.

[6] You respawn as the molten core of Mars. Wait, it doesn't have one.

DIE IS BEING RIDICULOUS
DENYING ME EXISTENCE
ANNIHILATE DICE, BECOME SENTIENT FUNGUS PERSON

[-1] My die has a negative one? Huh, never saw that before. It must not like you. Anyways, [4] you become a plump helmet man.

...
Jesus?
...
Interpreting that as "raptor-jesus"
...
RETURN TO EARTH AND LEAD RESISTANCE TO FIGHT LEGIONS OF HELL.

[4] You are raptor-Jesus, whatever that is.
[4] What is wrong with this die? The invasion establishes a beachhead on Earth.

Let me explain how to find out

Also, thank you die.
CONSOLIDATE CONTROL OF NEARBY AREA
PURIFY NEAREST TEMPLE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OF AREA.

[5] You establish control of the immediate county with the help of the Twelve Apatosaurs.

Posess the moon

[3] You possess Deimos, the nearest moon.

GM Turn:
The demons strike back! [5] They manage to kill seven of the twelve apatosaurs!
The band, unaware of the situation on Earth, [1] plays REALLY bad music on their crappy stage.

[Furtuka]

Slam myself into Earth

[misko27]

...
Jesus?
...
Interpreting that as "raptor-jesus"
...
RETURN TO EARTH AND LEAD RESISTANCE TO FIGHT LEGIONS OF HELL.

[4] You are raptor-Jesus, whatever that is.
[4] What is wrong with this die? The invasion establishes a beachhead on Earth.

Let me explain how to find out

Also, thank you die.
CONSOLIDATE CONTROL OF NEARBY AREA
PURIFY NEAREST TEMPLE TO MAINTAIN CONTROL OF AREA.

[5] You establish control of the immediate county with the help of the Twelve Apatosaurs.

Thank you die. I must incorporate a message about the kindness of the RNG into my bible.

Well, The demonic horde is atacking, we must

Slam myself into Earth

SLAM THIS INTO THE PART OF EARTH CONTROLED BY DEMONS. AKA, AID THE ACTION.

[mcclay]

Spawn as Gamzee
Create some MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClEs HoNk HoNk :O)

[Spinal_Taper]

GO ALL STAR TREK.

[Yoink]

>Seduce Spinal.

>In Klingon.

[LordSlowpoke]

BREW SELF

[Vorthon]

Dammit, not again. Respawn as earth elemental.

[10ebbor10]

Dammit, try respawning again. As a magma para-elemental.

[6] You respawn as the molten core of Mars. Wait, it doesn't have one.

[/quote]
Unless you've recently frozen Mars, it does have a molten core. It's just not rotating fast enough to form a magnetic fields, and Mars's Crust is too thick to allow regular vulcanism.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Slam myself into Earth

[3+1] You alter your trajectory. You'll hit Earth within, oh, a century or two. Maybe faster. Probably not much earlier...

Spawn as Gamzee
Create some MoThErFuCkInG MiRaClEs HoNk HoNk :O)

[3] Great, another thing I get to look up. [2] You attempt Oedipal relations. It fails to produce miracles.

GO ALL STAR TREK.

[5] You summon the USS Enterprise. They elect you captain.

>Seduce Spinal.

>In Klingon.

[5] Um...okay, no one go onto the bridge until Captain Taper's out.

BREW SELF

[1] You become bad-tasting wine. Respawn?

Dammit, not again. Respawn as earth elemental.

[4] You are an earth elemental on Mars.

Dammit, try respawning again. As a magma para-elemental.

[6] You respawn as the molten core of Mars. Wait, it doesn't have one.

Unless you've recently frozen Mars, it does have a molten core. It's just not rotating fast enough to form a magnetic fields, and Mars's Crust is too thick to allow regular vulcanism.

YOU'RE TAKING THIS TOO SERIOUSLY.

GM Turn:
The band [3] plays better music.
The five surviving apatosaurs [1] die to demons.
The demons [5] kill pretty much everything on Earth. Spinal and Yoink are safe. As for misko...Respawn?

[misko27]

Damned demons.

Alright, type to go all pyrhic.

RESPAWN AS EARTH. ITSELF
SLAM SELF INTO SUN

[Furtuka]

Accelerate