Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2

Author Topic: Love: To admit or be passive.  (Read 3432 times)

Trapezohedron

  • Bay Watcher
  • No longer exists here.
    • View Profile
Love: To admit or be passive.
« on: September 21, 2012, 07:00:43 am »

I've a crush. I've been trying to suppress it, but it's no use. I believe my crush also likes me, but that's just based on my observations and other people telling me that she feels the same way.

Now, being the introvert that I am, I try to admit, but it doesn't ever come out. Currently, I'm being passive, and yeah, it's not doing anything.

But to be honest, I believe my crush doesn't know much about me and vice-versa (which is the reason for passiveness), so I've been thinking about it ever since. Should I ever admit, or do I remain passive?

Getting to know her is an option, but I have trouble trying to fit in her group of friends so I don't do it much.
Logged
Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.

Criptfeind

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #1 on: September 21, 2012, 08:35:38 am »

Don't be passive. Ask her out on a date. Don't worry about trying to worm your way into their friends. That will come naturally later, or not, it does not matter a whole bunch.
Logged

ChairmanPoo

  • Bay Watcher
  • Send in the clowns
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #2 on: September 21, 2012, 11:20:37 am »

Don't be passive or she'll lose interest and move on.
Logged
Everyone sucks at everything. Until they don't. Not sucking is a product of time invested.

pisskop

  • Bay Watcher
  • Too old and stubborn to get a new avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #3 on: September 21, 2012, 11:23:16 am »

Definately have to show interest back.  And, being a man means it typically falls upon you to make the first move.  Ask her to dinner, or over your house or wherever.

 Not to a movie hough.  You want her to spend time with you looking at you, not in the dark where she can just pretend she was alone.

My advice to you is to break the touch barrier asap.  I learned from experience that no touching = platonic friends.
Logged
Pisskop's Reblancing Mod - A C:DDA Mod to make life a little (lot) more brutal!
drealmerz7 - pk was supreme pick for traitor too I think, and because of how it all is and pk is he is just feeding into the trollfucking so well.
PKs DF Mod!

MetalSlimeHunt

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gerrymander Commander
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #4 on: September 21, 2012, 11:29:15 am »

I learned from experience that no touching = platonic friends.
What, you never roughhouse with your platonic friends?

Anyway, if you think she's interested then go ahead and invite her to start doing things with you, and just you. Don't use the word "date", not yet anyway.

You've only got one life to live, no point in not acting.
Logged
Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

nenjin

  • Bay Watcher
  • Inscrubtable Exhortations of the Soul
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #5 on: September 21, 2012, 11:32:29 am »

Quote
Don't use the word "date", not yet anyway.

Seconded. I know this woman who, I would swear, wanted to jump my bones in the worst way possible. Wrestling, absurdly flirtatious behavior....so I finally decided that I couldn't take the sexual tension anymore and asked her "Do you want to go out?"

Bam. Instant platonic friends. Even women that would like to go out with you need to feel like it's their decision, that they aren't being pressured into a yes or no answer. Or possibly, that many woman want something just slightly more romantic than what amounts to an agreement that's asked in anything other than a moment of real passion or affection.

I think this is why plenty of relationships start with necking and making out before either side mentions dating....because by that point, your hand has been forced by your loins. (Wow that sounds odd.)

So yeah. Break the touch barrier, ask her to do stuff, but avoid feeling like you need a straight yes/no answer. At least in my experience, women will say no by default to protect themselves from getting hurt....before they'll say "yes" on a whim.
Logged
Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

kaijyuu

  • Bay Watcher
  • Hrm...
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #6 on: September 21, 2012, 12:11:15 pm »

Yeah, as others have said, ask her out.

If she doesn't reciprocate, then well, you know you're wasting your time. Instead of not knowing, and constantly worrying about it, and dooming yourself to never getting the chance.
Logged
Quote from: Chesterton
For, in order that men should resist injustice, something more is necessary than that they should think injustice unpleasant. They must think injustice absurd; above all, they must think it startling. They must retain the violence of a virgin astonishment. When the pessimist looks at any infamy, it is to him, after all, only a repetition of the infamy of existence. But the optimist sees injustice as something discordant and unexpected, and it stings him into action.

MorleyDev

  • Bay Watcher
  • "It is not enough for it to just work."
    • View Profile
    • MorleyDev
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2012, 09:06:34 pm »

I shan't suggest you use my exact moves, but I do suggest you just come out with it :)

For reference, move exact moves were to be having a regular conversation with her which shifted to relationships, which prompted me to just go "You know what, I would quite like to date you". Didn't go too well. By which I mean we had a long talk, spooned for a night, I got told that she was "not ready for a relationship again after her last boyfriend and not to wait for her but maybe in a few months we'll see how we both feel", and then she proceeded to f* with my emotions for the next couple of months before I got bored and declared "fuck this shit" and convinced myself to stop caring on that kind of level (or pretend I'd stopped caring, or believe I stopped caring).

That last part after the words "date you"...those are the parts I don't recommend. Ranting aside (Ish drunk so ignore it), I still say go for it. Being passive sucks and remember: If all else fails, just stop caring.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 09:34:14 pm by MorleyDev »
Logged

LordBucket

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #8 on: September 21, 2012, 09:41:52 pm »

Should I ever admit, or do I remain passive?

*sarcasm on*

No. Stay passive, hide in a corner and never tell her. Spend the rest of your life wondering "what if" and learn from this experience that it's safer to never take chances, so that the next time you have an opportunity to be loved you don't tell that next girl either and you spend the entire rest of your life lonely and miserable and die alone in a basement.

*sarcasm off*

Phlum

  • Bay Watcher
  • Above Is my true form, no mortal shall see it!
    • View Profile
    • Idontwanttowork
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #9 on: September 21, 2012, 10:01:16 pm »

It's all easily said, but soooo damn hard to do.

Don't be passive, that's bad, in just about every way possible.
« Last Edit: September 21, 2012, 10:14:11 pm by Phlum »
Logged
So I have spoken, may this thread live long!!

I don't share my age online, no one takes horny 14 year olds seriously.

"dwarf fortress is autism in a game"  -a guy named rick

Sirus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Resident trucker/goddess/ex-president.
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2012, 10:01:49 pm »

Don't be like me, New Guy. Speak up and see what happens.
Logged
Quote from: Max White
And lo! Sirus did drive his mighty party truck unto Vegas, and it was good.

Star Wars: Age of Rebellion OOC Thread

Shadow of the Demon Lord - OOC Thread - IC Thread

LordBucket

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2012, 11:23:18 pm »

It's all easily said, but soooo damn hard to do.

Over time water that passes over a rock will dig a groove into the rock. The more water that passes, the deeper the groove will become. Water that passes through the groove will have an easier time than water first splashing haphazardly across the rock, seeking a path. Once the path is grooved, it becomes more difficult to find a different path.

If you act with courage, it will become easier to act with courage. If you shy away...it will become easier to shy away.

If you find it difficult to change, it is only because you have grooved a path in your rock.

Choose your path wisely.

rarborman

  • Bay Watcher
  • Penguin Dungonmaster
    • View Profile
    • dice
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #12 on: September 22, 2012, 01:20:31 am »

Trust me, you dont want to reach into the "what could have been" go after her, science has shone women want two things even if not admitedly, self confident masculine bruisers for basial genetics urge, and paternal males that care for the paternal instict...

Why you ask? Overies and cycle control a woman's intrest in men, its not the best situation but gonads control men so theres at least noone to blame for horrible relationships, except the people in it.

If you outright ask her and she says no to a date be not diswaded, be nice and caring and friendly and ask later.
Logged
"But to that second circle of sad hell, Where ‘mid the gust, the whirlwind, and the flaw Of rain and hail-stones, lovers need not tell Their sorrows. Pale were the sweet lips I saw, Pale were the lips I kiss’d, and fair the form I floated with, about that melancholy storm."

MetalSlimeHunt

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gerrymander Commander
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2012, 01:33:27 am »

Trust me, you dont want to reach into the "what could have been" go after her, science has shone women want two things even if not admitedly, self confident masculine bruisers for basial genetics urge, and paternal males that care for the paternal instict...
Don't bring pseudo-scientific evolutionary psychology nonsense into this.
Quote
Why you ask? Overies and cycle control a woman's intrest in men, its not the best situation but gonads control men so theres at least noone to blame for horrible relationships, except the people in it.
People aren't slaves to their sex organs, it is entirely possible to have an interest in someone based upon non-sexual qualities and similarities.
Logged
Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

Gunner-Chan

  • Bay Watcher
  • << IT'S TIME >>
    • View Profile
Re: Love: To admit or be passive.
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2012, 01:40:07 am »

So rarborman confirmed for Hungry? Looks like it at least.

But on topic, yes. At least say you find them intresting. Staying dormant never got anyone anything but body fat and unfortunate stains.
Logged
Diamonds are combustable, because they are made of Carbon.
Pages: [1] 2