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[mainiac]

I think it's mostly a waiting game.  You aren't going to change them and don't want to.  But given time they'll get over their issues.

[Scelly9]

I think it's mostly a waiting game.  You aren't going to change them and don't want to.  But given time they'll get over their issues.

Basically, this.

Good luck, Kaijyuu, and remeber, we're always here.

[kaijyuu]

Thanks all

No recent events (well except one those on the pony forum know about but it's minor and just weird). I'm pretty sure I'm solidly in the "tolerate" zone. I think I'll start opening up to more people in real life (friends, extended family) and I'll be back here if any sparks fly that I need help with :X

[Kilroy the Grand]

Kaijyuu how old are you? I forget. But anyway I would strongly advise against getting into religious debates with your parents, it will only end in tears.

[kaijyuu]

23. And I largely agree. If they attack me with religious arguments again though, well, I know enough about the religion to counter. (EDIT: I would of course be advocating homosexuality as acceptable within their religion, not advocating my agnostic view)

[Kilroy the Grand]

For whatever reason I thought you were 14. No idea where that thought came from.

As for your parents I wouldn't flaunt it, my parents don't really appreciate my relationship, and they have made it quite clean that if I come over it should be by myself.
Although your parents could be okay about it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've been up too long, I can't think straight, that wasn't meant to be a pun

[LordBucket]

23. And I largely agree. If they attack me with religious arguments again though, well, I know enough about the religion to counter.
(EDIT: I would of course be advocating homosexuality as acceptable within their religion, not advocating my agnostic view)

...oh? That would be worthy of a thread in general, if you think you could actually make a case for it.

[Flying Dice]

I know we've talked about this some over on the pony forums, but here as well:

* Flying Dice offers hugs and support. 

[kidhedera]

Coming out is always tough.

My girlfriends mum is a lesbian, and she *still* didn't take her own kids queerness too well. I think she wanted her kids to have a bit of an easier life than hers, and wasn't really on top of the idea that things are easier now than they were when she was devorcing her second husband and finally coming out.

My mum was heavily religious, and she pinned me for gay before I was certain myself. Me and my best friend were both obviously queer - he was a 'sissy', and I was a 'tomboy', and so we were spammed with books about how The Gay would kill us and make us miserable from about 12 years old on. My mum did eventually come around to the concept, but since then we have lost touch for other reasons. (My choice, not hers).

So I would advocate patience. And possibly tricking them into watching But I'm a Cheerleader for the lols.

The sound like good people, who love you, so I'm sure they'll come around. Especially if you find an especially charming partner. (Nice partners always help convince parents of their childs future happiness, regardless of that partners gender).

If you can convince them, PFLAG have tons of great resources.

Also I've heard good things about this book, though I haven't read it myself:
http://www.amazon.com/Straight-Parents-Gay-Children-Families/dp/1560254521

Also if they are christians of a pentecostal bent, look up Anthony Venn Brown, he's an australian pastor who is an out gay man.

[kaijyuu]

Well talked to my therapist today and he raised an eyebrow when I told him the situation with my parents. He's about as annoyed at their behavior as ya'll are. Good to know I have a person  in meatspace (and a professional) on my side in case they say there's something "wrong" with me again.

I dunno why but I was kinda worried he'd take a more neutral stance on this. This is the same guy who told me to cut my hair and stop being a vegetarian just to appease my parents. Quite the authoritarian fellow. Still, I guess he'd lose his license or something these days if he was homophobic.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Unfortunately, a lot of people these days seem to value "non-confrontational problem solving" i.e being a spineless coward about everything, but that generally doesn't extend to rights, hence the sudden change in tune from your therapist.

[Thecard]

Hey, I can't say I really know what you are going through, but I do know a lot about religion, and I want you to know that God loves you, along with all of us here on the forums.  Your parents love you too, and they do only want the best for you.  Even when it seems like they are antagonizing you, stay in touch with them.  You also should remember they are your parents, and no matter how old you will get they will always be trying to help you, even if it is misguided.  So don't avoid bringing up your sexuality, but don't let it be the first thing that comes up in a conversation.  Act the same way you used to act around them (minus the secrecy, of course).

[kaijyuu]

Small talk with my father today. I think he's coming around, but he hinted that my mother is still pretty adamantly against the whole thing, and that if there's a conflict, he'll have to take some sort of middle ground rather than any one person's side.


Still looking for opportunities to come out to other people in meatspace without it being awkward. I mean, I can randomly shout "I'M GAY" to the online communities I'm in and it's rather amusing, but I don't have the guts to do it in real life.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

You should probably work on persuading your father further. Once someone's position starts moving it is inherently more malleable than when they are standing their ground. It is important that you move him past neutral and onto your side if something goes crazy with your mother.

[LordBucket]

Still looking for opportunities to come out to other people in meatspace without it being awkward.
I mean, I can randomly shout "I'M GAY" to the online communities I'm in and it's rather amusing,
but I don't have the guts to do it in real life.

Why is this even an issue? I don't see heterosexual guys suffering inside over some burning desire to admit to their friends, "Hey guys...we've known each other for a long time and I really feel you need to know something about me. I totally dig anal sex. It's awesome! That's ok, right? We can still be friends, can't we?"  I don't see heterosexual girls punishing themselves until the day they can finally bring themselves to announce to their family over dinner, "Mom, Dad...I know this might be difficult for you to hear, but I actually really enjoy sucking cock. I know, it's not supposed to be fun for me, but I really do love it. Please accept me for who I am. I'm still the daughter you raised. Love me, please."

I've never heard any terrified, heart-rending confessions like these from any heterosexuals I know. But if a homosexual guy has those same exact preferences for some reason it becomes some crazy lifetime issue over feeling the need to tell people about it. Why? Why do you feel the need for people to know about this stuff? I'm not suggesting you keep it a secret. But why is it an issue in the first place of being a secret that so desperately needs to be unveiled?

Forget about these other people for just a moment. Set aside for now any concerns over what others might think. Are you comfortable with who you are? Are you able to think about what you do and what you enjoy and honestly sat to yourself "This is good. I like this, and I'm glad I like it. It's proper and healthy and correct for me, and I'm glad I am who I am and I'm glad I have the sexual preferences I do."

Can you honestly say that? This is a rhetorical question. You don't need to answer to me. It doesn't matter what I think. It only matters what you think. If the answer to the question is yes, then why is it so important what others think? You are the one who has to live with yourself. If you believe what and who you are is good and proper and correct...then why does it matter whether others agree with you? And if the answer is no, and you can't honestly say to yourself that you're glad to be who you are, and you're happy with your sexual nature and that it's good and healthy and proper and correct for you...if you don't believe it, how can you expect anyone else to?