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I HAVE NO STRONG OPINION ON THE MATTER

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I think it should work in a different way and will convey this in my next post.

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Total Members Voted: 22

[TherosPherae]

GOOD MORNING, MAGGOTS. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO TELL YOU ALL THIS TWICE, SO KEEP YOUR EARS OPEN.

YOU ARE ALL HERE BECAUSE YOU HAVE DISPLAYED EVEN THE SLIGHTEST IOTA OF TALENT IN A CERTAIN FIELD. THE GODS HAVE NOTICED THIS, AND, FOR SOME THRICE-DAMNED REASON, HAVE CHOSEN TO APPOINT YOU GREEN WEENIES AS GUARDIANS OF SOME OF THE MOST ANCIENT AND POWERFUL ARTIFACTS IN EXISTENCE. YOU WILL BE FACING NOT ONLY ADVENTURERS LOOKING TO EXPLOIT THE ARTIFACTS' POWER, BUT EXISTENTIALISTS WISHING TO DESTROY IT, ANIMALS JUST PLAIN BEING A NUISANCE, AND WHATEVER ELSE THE SENTIENT BEINGS OF THIS WORLD CAN THROW AT YOU. IT IS MY JOB TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE INEVITABLE SHITSTORM. SO LISTEN UP! UNLESS OF COURSE YOU THINK YOU'RE ALREADY FAMILIAR ENOUGH WITH THIS, IN WHICH CASE YOU MAY SIMPLY FILL OUT THE SURVEY, GIVE IT TO THIS LITTLE MAN AT MY SIDE, THEN GO COLLECT YOUR ASSIGNMENT INFORMATION AND FREE SHIT.

Spoiler: SIGN UP SHEET (click to show/hide)

NAME:
GENDER:
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT:

STATS (30 PTS):
STR:
DEX:
INT:
WIS:
PIE:

Spoiler: ITEM ONE. (click to show/hide)

THE FIELD OF BATTLE.

AS DEFENDERS, YOU WILL ALL RECEIVE A SMALL SALARY BASED ON DONATIONS TO THE TEMPLES OF THE GODS. DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH. ANYTHING YOU HAVE LEFT OVER AFTER PAYING TO KEEP YOUR SORRY ASS ALIVE CAN BE USED TO MODIFY THE SURROUNDINGS OF YOUR ARTIFACT HOWEVER YOU PLEASE. HOWEVER, PLEASE TRY TO KEEP YOUR MODIFICATIONS TO WITHIN FIFTY METERS OF THE ARTIFACT, AS OTHERWISE YOU WILL PISS OFF THE LOCALS WHO MAKE A LIVING SENDING PEOPLE TO THEIR DOOM IN YOUR DUNGEON. YOU MAY BUILD TRAPS, WALLS, HALF-WALLS, WHATEVER. JUST AS LONG AS YOU PAY FOR IT.

NOW. GENERALLY, YOU ARE CAPABLE OF MOVING APPROXIMATELY SIX METERS PER SECOND, AS ARE MOST CREATURES. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ALREADY, BUT I FIGURED I WOULD COVER IT BECAUSE I HAVE TO. FOR THOSE OF YOU FAMILIAR WITH SYSTEMS WHICH USE 'INITIATIVE', WE DON'T USE THAT HERE. THE GODS HAVE GIVEN YOU THE WONDERFUL GIFT OF ALWAYS HITTING THE OTHER BASTARD FIRST.

EACH OF YOU WILL BE GIVEN A GRID PARCHMENT AS YOU LEAVE DENOTING THE CURRENT SURROUNDINGS OF YOUR ARTIFACT. I SUGGEST YOU USE IT AS A MAP SO YOU DON'T ACCIDENTALLY TRIP OVER YOUR OWN DEFENSES.

Spoiler: ITEM TWO. (click to show/hide)

DIRECT COMBAT AND STATISTICS.

AS DEFENDERS, YOU ARE INEVITABLY GOING TO BE CHALLENGED FOR THE ARTIFACTS YOU GUARD. SO YOU ARE GOING TO NEED TO KNOW THE BASICS OF COMBAT! HERE IS THE SHORT VERSION SO I CAN GET YOU ALL OUT OF MY CAMP AS FAST AS POSSIBLE:

YOU HAVE ONE MAIN THING WHICH YOU MUST KEEP AN EYE ON - YOUR HEALTH. IF IT HITS ZERO, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU DO ANY MORE BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAD. YOUR HEALTH IS DETERMINED RANDOMLY BY THE GODS AND IS USUALLY A VERY GOOD APPROXIMATION FOR HOW ALMOST DEAD YOU ARE.

YOU HAVE FIVE DIFFERENT 'STATS'. THESE 'STATS' ARE STRENGTH, INTELLIGENCE, WISDOM, DEXTERITY, AND PIETY. THE GODS HAVE GIVEN YOU THIRTY 'POINTS' TO ALLOCATE TO THESE 'STATS' AS YOU WILL. DON'T WASTE THEM.

SINCE I DON'T EXPECT ANY OF YOU TO HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST MODICUM OF INTELLIGENCE, I WILL EXPLAIN IN BRIEF EXACTLY WHAT EACH OF THESE STATS DOES.

STRENGTH - THIS ONE LETS YOU HIT THINGS HARDER.
INTELLIGENCE - THIS ONE LETS YOU THINK FASTER AND CAST SPELLS.
WISDOM - THIS ONE IS JUST PLAIN OLD COMMON SENSE. YOU GENERALLY USE IT WHEN TRYING TO MAKE TRAPS AND SUCH.
DEXTERITY - THIS ONE LETS YOU DODGE THINGS. IT ALSO IMPROVES YOUR AIM FOR REASONS UNKNOWN.
PIETY - THIS ONE LETS YOU AVOID SOME CONSEQUENCES IF YOU SCREW UP AND FAIL. IT ALSO HAS DEITIC EFFECTS IF YOU GET IT HIGH ENOUGH - HALOS, SMITING, HELLFIRE AND WHATNOT.

YOU WILL RECEIVE A TATTOO OF YOUR STATISTICS AS YOU LEAVE. IT WILL MAGICALLY SHIFT TO MATCH YOUR CURRENT STATE SO YOU KNOW JUST HOW SCREWED YOU ARE AS THAT ADVENTURER BEATS YOU TO DEATH WITH HIS LONGSWORD. YOU'RE WELCOME.

ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?

[TherosPherae]

PLAYERS:

• Spoiler: Noahtophatz (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Bob Mcnobody the Generic
  GENDER: M
  DEFENDING EXPERIENCE: 0/100
  GOLD: 50
  CURRENT INVENTORY: Generic Knife, Cheap Clothing, Generic Cloak
  CURRENT SPELLS: CLOAK I, SNEAK ATTACK I
  CURRENT EFFECTS: None
  
• Spoiler: Ochita (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Zunith
  GENDER: female
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Melee combat
  
  STATS (30 PTS):
  STR: 7
  DEX: 9
  INT: 4
  WIS: 6
  PIE: 4
• Spoiler: IronyOwl (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Sharilak
  GENDER: Female
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Summoning
  
  STATS:
  STR: 1
  DEX: 8
  INT: 15
  WIS: 5
  PIE: 1
• Spoiler: Criptfeind (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Melekef the Damned.
  GENDER: M
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Necromancery
  
  STATS (30 PTS):
  STR: 3
  DEX:4
  INT: 15
  WIS: 7
  PIE: 1
• Spoiler: lemon10 (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Lud
  GENDER: Male
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Priest of Arnak the Chained
  
  STATS (30 PTS):
  STR:3
  DEX:5
  INT:3
  WIS:3
  PIE:16
• Spoiler: Terenos (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Riivak the Black.
  GENDER: Male, Human
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Melee Weaponry
  STATS:
  STR: 10
  DEX: 6
  INT: 4
  WIS: 5
  PIE: 5
• Spoiler: Tiruin (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Issera Thyme
  GENDER: Female
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Ranged Weaponry
  
  STATS:
  STR: 6
  DEX: 10
  INT: 8
  WIS: 2
  PIE: 4
• Spoiler: tomio175 (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Tomio the Burned
  GENDER: ?
  DEFENDING EXPERIENCE: 0/100
  GOLD: 50
  CURRENT INVENTORY: Generic Staff, Cheap Clothing
  CURRENT SPELLS: FIREBALL I, FLAME DART I
  CURRENT EFFECTS: FLAME HALO
  

WAITLIST:

• Spoiler: hachnslay (click to show/hide)

  Name: Minos
  Gender: Male
  Specialization: Grappling
  
  Stats:
  Str: 19
  Dex: 8
  Int : 1
  Wis: 1
  Pie: 1
• Spoiler: GreatWyrmGold (click to show/hide)

  NAME: Jak the Shady
  GENDER: Male
  SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Dealing with vampires, werewolves, umber hulks, and other unsavory people
  
  STATS:
  STR: 3
  DEX: 6
  INT: 9
  WIS: 8
  PIE: 4

Spoiler: GENERAL DUNGEON PRICING LIST (click to show/hide)

5 gold to build or remove a 1mx1mx1m area - underground, in the ceiling, just about anywhere that can be reached with a shovel and a ladder. Smaller areas can be carved or built, but those can be more or less expensive based on the size of it.
3 gold to build a simple hurdle - ranged attacks go over it, but most other things don't. They can be jumped over or broken, though.
STAIRS cost 5 gold for a set - carved or built. The builders warn you that falling down them is hazardous to your health.
Doors cost 10 gold apiece, with an extra 5 gold if you want a basic lock put on it.
Wooden spikes cost 15 gold per square meter.
Eternal Torches cost 1 gold apiece and light up a 5mx5m radius. They can be carried or stuck to a wall, and they never burn out - handy!

10 gold for each set of general tools.
5 gold for a jar of beans or a piece of dried meat. Delicious.

Generic Axe is 20 gold.
Pile of Wood is 15 gold.
Bells cost 5 gold apiece.
Signs cost 1 gold per square meter.

[10ebbor10]

ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?

Yes, all that, but whitout caps.

Interested, but the caps make it quite hard to read.

[Terenos]

NAME: Riivak the Black.
GENDER: Male, Human
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Melee Weaponry

STATS:
STR: 10
DEX: 6
INT: 4
WIS: 5
PIE: 5

[Criptfeind]

What types of SPECIALIZATION/TALENT are you looking for? Magic? Magic types? Weapons? Being a vampire?

[lemon10]

NAME: Lud
GENDER: Male
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Priest of Arnak the Chained

STATS (30 PTS):
STR:3
DEX:5
INT:3
WIS:3
PIE:16

[Criptfeind]

NAME: Melekef the Damned.
GENDER: M
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Necromancery

STATS (30 PTS):
STR: 3
DEX:4
INT: 15
WIS: 7
PIE: 1

[IronyOwl]

NAME: Sharilak
GENDER: Female
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Summoning

STATS:
STR: 1
DEX: 8
INT: 15
WIS: 5
PIE: 1

[Criptfeind]

How many people are we looking for here before we start?

[Ochita]

NAME: Zunith
GENDER: female
SPECIALIZATION/TALENT: Melee combat

STATS (30 PTS):
STR: 7
DEX: 9
INT: 4
WIS: 6
PIE: 4

[TherosPherae]

ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?

Yes, all that, but whitout caps.

Interested, but the caps make it quite hard to read.

Ok, here ya go. The spoilers are removed so that people don't have to scroll through the whole thing twice.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Good morning, maggots. I don't have the time to tell you all this twice, so keep your ears open. You are all here because you have displayed even the slightest iota of talent in a certain field. The gods have noticed this, and, for some thrice-damned reason, have chosen to appoint you green weenies as guardians of some of the most ancient and powerful artifacts in existence. You will be facing not only adventurers looking to exploit the artifacts' power, but existentialists wishing to destroy it, animals just plain being a nuisance, and whatever else the sentient beings of this world can throw at you. It is my job to prepare you for the inevitable shitstorm. So listen up! Unless of course you think you're already familiar enough with this, in which case you may simply fill out the survey, give it to this little man at my side, then go collect your assignment information and free shit.

SIGNUP SHEET:
Name:
Gender:
Specialization/Talent:
Stats (30 pts):
Str:
Dex:
Int:
Wis:
Pie:

ITEM ONE.
The field of battle. As defenders, you will all receive a small salary based on donations to the temples of the gods. Don't expect too much. Anything you have left over after paying to keep your sorry ass alive can be used to modify the surroundings of your artifact however you please. However, please try to keep your modifications to within fifty meters of the artifact, as otherwise you will piss off the locals who make a living sending people to their doom in your dungeon. you may build traps, walls, half-walls, whatever. Just as long as you pay for it.

Now generally, you are capable of moving approximately six meters per second, as are most creatures. You should know this already, but I figured I would cover it because I have to. For those of you familiar with systems which use 'initiative', we don't use that here. The gods have given you the wonderful gift of always hitting the other bastard first.

Each of you will be given a grid parchment as you leave denoting the current surroundings of your artifact. I suggest you use it as a map so you don't accidentally trip over your own defenses.

ITEM TWO.
Direct combat and statistics. As defenders, you are inevitably going to be challenged for the artifacts you guard. So you are going to need to know the basics of combat! Here is the short version so I can get you all out of my camp as fast as possible:

You have one main thing which you must keep an eye on - your health. If it hits zero, it doesn't matter what you do any more because you're dead. Your health is determined randomly by the gods and is usually a very good approximation for how almost dead you are.

You have five other different 'stats'. These 'stats' are strength, intelligence, wisdom, dexterity, and piety. The gods have given you thirty 'points' to allocate to these 'stats' as you will. Don't waste them. Since i don't expect any of you to have even the slightest modicum of intelligence, I will explain in brief exactly what each of these stats does.
Strength - this one lets you hit things harder.
Intelligence - this one lets you think faster and cast spells.
Wisdom - this one is just plain old common sense. you generally use it when trying to make traps and such.
Dexterity - this one lets you dodge things. it also improves your aim for reasons unknown.
Piety - this one lets you avoid some consequences if you screw up and fail. it also has deitic effects if you get it high enough - halos, smiting, hellfire and whatnot.

You will receive a tattoo of your statistics as you leave. It will magically shift to match your current state so you know just how screwed you are as that adventurer beats you to death with his longsword. You're welcome.

Are there any questions?

What types of SPECIALIZATION/TALENT are you looking for? Magic? Magic types? Weapons? Being a vampire?

Pretty much whatever. Nothing absurd like omnipotence, though.

How many people are we looking for here before we start?

I was thinking somewhere around six, but it just now hit me that we can add people in as we go so it's not a huge deal if we start early. So we're going to start early - give me an hour or four to get the maps ready.

[mcclay]

Name: Mcclay
Gender: Male
Talent:Derming (alterntavitely meta magic)
Str: 5
Dex: 5
Int:6
Wis: 9
Pie:5

[Criptfeind]

What is Derming?

[mcclay]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DISREGARD THIS I FUCKED UP

[IronyOwl]

dermonster, aka Derm, is a player known for blowing everything up (in RTDs, mainly). Derming is thus more or less a fancy word for blowing things up or lighting them on fire, generally on a large scale.