HarmonicDerps
Bay Watcher
I Love Being A Master Thief In DF
« on: December 19, 2050 10:58:36 pm »
Well, had an interesting game.
I'm playing with Vankor's Steampunk Mod (I never cared for Modern Tech) and I generate a world called Alkandia, no translation. I play Adventure Mode, and try out the new feature Toady implemented fully in October, the ability to take over NPCs. I selected the location (The capital of the dominant human civilization in the middle of an Age of Industry, lots of crime and shadiness) and looked over the options for a character. I didn't really like the choices, but one kinda struck out as a nice choice: a 13 year old orphan girl named Anzec SmokedGreen. I started up the game.
Looking over the memories tab, this girl has had the worst life. She was born in one of the huge shantytowns around the city, her parents were shot down by a maruading group of bandits, and now she's alone in the big city. This was going to be a hard one. After wandering around the city, I realized that this world was truly unique. From history books (It's amazing Anzec knew how to read) and Legendsviewer, this used to be a typical DF world until the dwarves discovered the steam engine, which Anzec's home civilization stole a prototype of. Immediately after this, the world descended into a massive war on all sides that lasted about a century. By the end of it, every race except a solitary holdout of dwarves in a mountain and one human civilization had been either slaughtered, enslaved or genocided, and demons were rampaging throughout the land (Which only occurs when the world is ending). Somehow a demon had managed to take control of the last human civilization and had been given the title of God Emperor.
So, how was one to survive in this very 40k-a-like situation? Well, I immediately got Anzec into a life of crime for a start. I had to grind my stealth and thieving skills a bit in Post Offices, but eventually I managed to rob a merchant's house and walked off with a lot of things to pawn off. I started making my own little hideout in the sewer system where I'd stash stuff. I kept robbing merchant's houses, until I made my way up to noble's mansions. Now, that was a tricky business, since you had guards and things. I bought a blackjack and started knocking out the guards and stealing their guns to train with or sell. I was making a pretty penny, was gathering plenty of contacts and in general, things were good.
As I wandered around the city looking for people to pawn my hot wares to, I learned that the dashing rogue who was breaking into mansions was now named the "The Silent Shadow". Another thing to say: Toady did a good job with the redesigned name generator, before that my barbarian warrior had the worst nickname: "The Grinning Duck", so seeing my thief being named the Silent Shadow felt like I was doing a good job. I was at Accomplished Thieving and Stealth, so I thought that I needed to step up a bit. Where will the Silent Shadow strike next?
I had a good idea. The God Emperor's castle, where all his stolen goods would lie. I'd be the richest person in the kingdom if I stole from him, and could probably buy it if I wanted to. I got as many of my contacts as I could to give me a pinpoint of the castle. The bad news was no-one had entered the Emperor's private domain, where his treasure would be, so all I had was a few floors of knowing until I hit an information blackout, at which point I would have to wing it.
I broke in carrying my trusty cloak, my blackjack and my pistol. I was only at Adequate with the pistol, and it would expose my position if I fired it, so it was a last resort at all times. Sneaking past and occasionally clobbering guards, it was easy to get to the emperor's private sanctuary. I was shocked at the sheer amount of golden, platinum and diamond statues everywhere (Granted, usually of the God Emperor mutilating various other demons and people), not to mention spiked pits and torture devices, but there was nothing I could carry. I had to head deeper in. At this point, I was getting nervous. Of course, he could have been a weaker type of demon who got his way through manipulation, but with all the mulitation I was unsure of myself.
It was very dark once I got deeper in. Anzec had good night-vision, but I could only see about four tiles in front of me. I kept going...
"The God Emperor stands before you! A giant lizard, twisted into humanoid form! His scales are dark crimson and cracked! He hisses with every step! Beware his deadly stength!"
Fuck.
At this point, I mostly stared at the computer screen. I was facing down a supremely strong demon. I had a pistol with a single shot and a blackjack. He would move faster then I could and gut me in a single turn if I tried to run. I had only one option. I fired the gun at the bastard. If I was going to die, I was going to die giving the oversized gecko a headache.
"The sound of a -Iron Pistol- firing echoes throughout the room!"
"The God Emperor clutches his head in pain."
"The Lead Bullet strikes the God Emperor in the upper body, piercing the scales and breaking the lower right rib!"
Then the God Emperor promptly stumbled back into one of his many spiked pits, and after about 50 "The God Emperor writhes in pain!", he finally died of bleeding. His name was apparently "Zekak". Immediately afterward, I went into his private chamber and stole all his wealth and walked out of the empty castle... to find a massive crowd cheering me. Apparently I was now the Rose of Blood, the slayer of the Demond Emperor, and by causing the Demon to stumble into his many unguarded spike pits I was the killer of a tyrant, and I was also to be queen.
So, I immediately retired the adventurer, since I'm not great with King Mode and I would probably ruin the perfect ending. So, there you have it. I went from random orphan, to stealing from merchants, to being a master thief, and then being a demon slayer and queen. Apparently Anzec was the youngest queen ever at 14 (Yes, I did all that in a year) but despite this was an extremely good one. Of course, this is just a few years later, so who knows what will happen later. I love this game.