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Author Topic: Legacy Awry: Hero Saga ~ Story Outline. Thoughts criticism, welcomed.  (Read 715 times)

MrWiggles

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http://tinyurl.com/6uuavgy <= Link to the Outline. Its a google doc.

Legacy Awry is a shonen style super hero comic. Its very dearly a love note to Dragonbal Ball Z. It however doesnt go to the parodied extreme of DBZ itself. (No one fights while floating in the air. Energy Attacks can't destroy the world.)

The Hero Saga is meant to introduce our story world, and our 3 main characters and the first antagonist. It'll also show misc. faction of the world. The outline doesnt highlight the story world very well, as that'll hopefully be shown more through art then character character interaction.

Each bullet point, represents one panel, generally. They're broken in groups of six, representing about a page. Some of the bullet points represent more then one panel. The colors dont really hold any function.

I'm interested in feed back, criticism. I'm fully aware that I'm not my comic, and understand that not liking the comic does not equate to not liking me and or insulting me. So please be honest.

Character explanations:

Zak (Alexander Zakkia Tanner) is a recent high school graduate. So 17-19 in age, leaving his home town to be out on his own for the first going to college. He has an affinity for martial arts, but has no formal training, taking queues from Super Sentai (something akin to Power Rangers) tv series, discovering that he also has an unheard ability to control ki. (Ki is a known, somewhat common element in this story world. Zak ability with ki is shocking because it happen without intention or the general years of trainings.) Zak is also adopted.

Rush (Tim Moore), is an exceptional computer hacker, high school drop out. 17-19 in age. He's an orphan that been in and out of foster care for majorty of his life, living on his own. Hes has a strong informal street fighting skills, which he honed to help keep himself safe from abusive foster parents, or while living on his own.

Zak and Rush has been friends since the start of high school. So about 4 years or so.

Kyle/Proton Man (Kyle Terry Morance) is 23-25 years in age. He grew up in an apathetic house hold, mostly raising himself. Unlike the other two character Kyle received a lot of formal training from the last master of the shadow palm (its not ninja related). Kyle is generally an serious, almost cynical person who doesn't actually like being his super hero persona, being his largest critic of Proton Man. Kyle doesn't have any real outstanding talent with martial arts, though his potential to push the boundaries of what humans can accomplish is rare. Kyle is one of about eight folks on the planet who can fly well enough where its practical. (This includes fine control, comparative speed to a car and endurance.) Kyle has the most experience in applying martial arts in 'real world' application, outside that of a dojo.

Xethorin is our first antagonist. He's an evil outer space invader. Xeth is part of the nobility caste of the alien race. As per their society norm, when he grew to maturity and wanted his own 'estate', he had to use his own wealth and influence to assemble an invading force and take over a planet, or face functional exile. (He's not actually forbidden from returning home. But he would be held to such a low status that even those of lower caste would get away with treating him out of station with functionally no fear of reprisal.)

The Talisman featured in the saga, are our version of the dragonballs. They function similarly, but they dont have the 'lol no consequence' powers that DBZ dragonballs had.
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MrWiggles

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Re: Legacy Awry: Hero Saga ~ Story Outline. Thoughts criticism, welcomed.
« Reply #1 on: September 11, 2012, 10:07:17 pm »

Too wordy?
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Doesn't like running from bears = clearly isn't an Eastern European
I'm Making a Mush! Navitas: City Limits ~ Inspired by Dresden Files and SCP.
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