Well, I don't think it'd be questioned by anyone who has been reading the Sad thread of late that there's a fair few people on the Bay12 forums who are either suffering from, know someone suffering from, or are otherwise affected by depression.
So, this thread's intent:
- Company and support for people going through depression.
- Support and advice for those who know someone suffering from depression.
- Counselling those who are caring for people with depression.
- Compiling links and resources for assisting people with depression.
- In any other way necessary, supporting those people with depression, those people who know someone suffering from depression, or are otherwise affect by depression or people suffering from it.
I'd like to keep this post up to date with links, so any you think should be added would be best PMed to me, to make sure that I catch each one. They will go below.
Now, naturally, there'll be people who'd like to talk with someone here, someone private that they can trust. If you'd like to raise your hand to be one of those people who can be reached on this topic via a PM or other form of communication, please do PM me and I can put a list here, if such a want arises.
This may be a sensitive issue for some people, so I would ask that you refrain from criticising others on their actions, even via a PM. What is said on this thread, stays on this thread.
(for any 'his', 'he', or 'him', read 'her', 'she', or 'her' if such applies)
Firstly, don't try to act, or be anxious about the right words. Just be yourself. You're concerned, the words you say and how you say them will show this. And he'll be far more comfortable talking with his friend than with someone who's acting strangely themselves.
Then listen to him. Let him talk himself out, let him tell you all of what's paining him. Don't try to pressure him, just let him tell it as he wants.
Next, ask him if he has a plan to kill himself, if he has the means to do it, if he has thought about when he will do it.
He will MOST LIKELY answer no to one of those, or say that the date he plans it for is some time in the future. That's good. But don't be alarmed if he says yes to each of these.
Keep talking to him, ask him about his problems. Don't try and say something like "that's a tiny problem" or something like that. Just be there for him, reassure him that you're his friend and you want to help him.
THEN ask him if he's planned on talking to anyone else about it. Not in a "You should talk to someone else"-way, just a question. If he says yes, that's another good sign - he's got more people to help him cope with the depression at hand. That's good. If he says no, make a gentle suggestion, don't nag or tell him he has to talk to someone else, just say "Maybe you could talk to X as well, or Y". And make sure to let him know that if he doesn't want to, you'll still be there to listen and to help. He's feeling bad, he doesn't want to feel like you might be abandoning him.
Next, ask him if he has planned to seek help. This might have come up in the last question, if so you don't need to ask him this one. If he doesn't, make a suggestion that that might help. Therapists or psychiatrists are the best options here - counselors don't have the training that these professionals have, and they might not be able to cope with someone coming to them and telling them they have plans to kill themself.
Most importantly. Be yourself. The words themselves don't matter, just that you're saying them, as his friend and support. It is a very good sign that he's talking to you, that he's acknowledging that he has a problem, but it is crucial that you are responding to it as a friend, not as someone who doesn't want to know.
Please, if you have /any/ further questions, do not hesitate to talk to me. And also - don't forget to have someone else to talk to anyway, to keep you up and refreshed. It won't help him if you break when you try to help him through this.
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Topic: The Depression Thread! Woo! (Read 8057 times)