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Author Topic: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!  (Read 1598 times)

roughedge

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The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« on: September 07, 2012, 01:22:18 pm »


Story of drunked legendary pioneers!
« on: Today at 01:14:40 pm »
QuoteModify
I am bored and gonna write the whole story of my fort.

In the plane of prophecies a band of drunken warrios wander the world in search of an haven for their rowdy behavior and senseless violence thirst. Short, bearded and found of drink and industries, the glorious band of seven knows no better than satisfying their need for power and gluttony.

Before their departure from the Steamy Picks mountainhomes, our adventurers packed the following useless equipments based solely on their selfish self:

six hundred beer barrels
one male dog
two copper picks
five plump helmets barrels

The Plane of Prophecies has never seen so much bravery and godliness in booze-business, the migrants shall come for the booze be they beggars or kings we do not judge. Come numerous and join us in the Arena of Armok where all bearded freaks can satisfy their thirst for alcohol and blood!
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roughedge

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2012, 01:54:59 pm »

The wagon pulling slaves... animals I mean, were used as worthfull meat bearing recipients. We had not seen such delicious cow meat since the king ordered 200 cows dead just because. All hail the king.
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roughedge

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #2 on: September 07, 2012, 01:57:16 pm »

Taste the goodness of cow eyes rolls... only for a limited time!
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Tirion

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #3 on: September 07, 2012, 02:05:33 pm »

Taste the goodness of cow eyes rolls... only for a limited time!

There is the stage for drunkenness where very extreme things are suddenly edible, and even appetizing. It explains so much of dwarf cuisine... ;)
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"Fools dig for water, corpses, or gold. The earth's real treasure is far deeper."

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #4 on: September 07, 2012, 02:46:33 pm »

Hm, hm ,hm. So if I fed my dwarves a creature extract explicitly called 'Pain' that delivers pain beyond their wildest imaginings, while they were drunk, would they still eat it? :3

roughedge

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #5 on: September 07, 2012, 02:52:19 pm »

Hum... just switch the **Pain** stickers on the bottle with **high ethanol percentage** stickers and all will be fine. Dwarfothopia 101
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roughedge

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #6 on: September 07, 2012, 02:53:37 pm »

Feed dragon shit and i'll be surprised!
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IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #7 on: September 07, 2012, 02:55:05 pm »

I have fed them dragon shit. They got happy thoughts. e_e
Don't ask why I had dragon shit, I got bored in my modding breaks and decided 'Eh, what the hell'. They now drop 'dragon excrement' everywhere and it's a nightmare to clean up.

peregarrett

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #8 on: September 07, 2012, 02:59:43 pm »

Hm, hm ,hm. So if I fed my dwarves a creature extract explicitly called 'Pain' that delivers pain beyond their wildest imaginings, while they were drunk, would they still eat it? :3
Add pain syndrome to it.
.
.
Suddenly...
.
.
Mod the HANGOVER!!!!!  :o :o :o
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Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #9 on: September 07, 2012, 03:05:31 pm »

It already has pain syndrome. It also has unconciousness. And impair function to the brain SEV:5.
Although I do have to kill a ridiculously hard modded megabeast to acquire the extract.

peregarrett

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #10 on: September 07, 2012, 03:18:01 pm »

It already has pain syndrome. It also has unconciousness. And impair function to the brain SEV:5.
Although I do have to kill a ridiculously hard modded megabeast to acquire the extract.
"It will turn your brain into mess, Urist, but it's a masterwork forgotten beast meat roast!!!"
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Did you know that the Russian word for "sock" is "no sock"?
I just saw a guy with two broken legs push a minecart with a corpse in it. Yeah.

IamanElfCollaborator

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #11 on: September 07, 2012, 03:20:32 pm »

e_e
Are you watching me from my window? I just fed my dwarves that megabeast's meat.

roughedge

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #12 on: September 09, 2012, 06:06:44 pm »

After 600 beers, the pioneers built a small castle. Outside was laid wars with no weapons and from this moment was born karate dwarf!
Our fortress of brawlers has been closed for 6 years now because other nations don't understand that weapons are unallowed here. This fortress shall be a monastery I think. Hopefully we have pig tail clothing, so it won't be a naked karate dwarf fortress. After many battles having laid down and pillaged caravans of elves and others races (i use genesismod), the loot was taken and the bridge gate were closed shut. We have reached autarcy and has far as we know the babies keep coming out of our dwarven maid at an alarming rate. Perhaps Armok has blessed us with great reproductive ability so we can outnumber our foes. Has the teaching of our forefathers told us, we are sleeping in a great communal hall, sharing all needs and work. Fortress favorite meal: Slime Mold. Favorite Recipe: Slime mold + eyes
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Noobazzah

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Re: The story of the drunken karate dwarf!
« Reply #13 on: September 10, 2012, 08:24:19 am »

Quote
e_e
Are you watching me from my window? I just fed my dwarves that megabeast's meat.

No, but I am.
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