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No!

I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

[Bobnova]

take a ten minutes turn. make a new rule cancelling the old rules. then take a doubleturn.

I found the lawyer!

[Naryar]

alright, i'm going to traduce my turn properly (though google translate is exponentially funnier)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

9:30 It's very early to be drinking. Imma getting drunk and then opening the fort
9:38 there is only a single naryar and it is a peasant
well ok

THERE ARE NO BOBNOVAS HOW IS SUCH A THING POSSIBLE

BLASPHEMY, BLASPHEMY I LIVE, er, I mean "I mean". (live and mean are not that far in french)

9:43 Am finishing this bottle, i'm getting drunk slowly, too slowly

magmaaaaa

still paused, someone embarked on top of an ocean 10/10

and there is a volcano in the ocean 20/10 I LOVE THIS EMBARK... embark ? installation ? map ? no not map we'll say "colony"

9:48 Must drink more. Also someone made atomsmasher traps here. Wimp. Dwarven atom smashers ? really ? gotta stop the bullshit and kill goblins properly, like with magma or get some militia and fight them honestly

9:52 Someone did a phallic building... is it the new drunkard ? anyways i approve and I must make a mast, uh I mean to erect something wooden if possible like last fort, it'll be penile if you see what i mean



9:57 I changed one of the dwarves's names, who, i won't say

9:59 dining room has WOODEN furniture. seriously WOODEN furniture ? Who is the elf bastard around here ?

there is good, worthy rock next to it and someone builds the dining room in WOODEN furniture

i think he needs to be tossed into the volcano

10:04 done with my half-liter of beer, starting another beer, slowly getting drunk

starting to play, we're 1st of granite, OK

10:07 first we need a mason and craftsdwarf so we can have a correct dining room

also this is apparently a seed stockpile and not a levitating farmplot, a-ok



i mean bags and barrels exist... what we don't have leather ? that should be easy to fix

10:14 Alright, the stone industry is done, and naryar has become a mechanic, much better than peasant, now need some proper stone furniture

10:20 now i must make a larger room complex, more rooms

10:23 how the hell has a digging designation been canceled because of warm rock ? My dear dwarves. I am MASTER OF MAGMA, I know what I am doing, when i dig next to magma... ccontinue digging, there's only 10-20 cm of rock between burning magma and where you are digging anyways

10:27 elf caravan what are they bringing

1 jaguar, 1 ocelot, 2 warthogs, a giant thrips (useless elves), and a wolf

alright, not gonna put them into the volcano, bringing a jaguar is cool enough

you have earned safe return, elves.

10:32 I replaced all the wooden crap in the dining room... now what to do with this wooden crap... sell it to elves now that's a great idea, better dump it into the volcano

must trade with elves

10:35 i sell them the usual bling, gold goblets so they drink in decent goblets instead of their grown wood crap ... this fort is full of native gold, i'm gonna make a gold goblet industry i think

10:40 obviously the broker is on break... why the fuck are them brokers ALWAYS on break when you need them ? damn you shorukekeeeekekeke (zerglingg hahahaha)

10:44 i bought plenty of fruit and elf clothes, (yes i know it's borderline) time to put my brewers to work on them fruits

variety for drink

10:46 migrants yeaaa

10:56 finished giving names to the migrants

dwarves are sleeping in the general stockpile, it muse be an issue

more beds

11:08 first more rooms

then i make beds

yeah

need to drink more

11:17 So I was doing a meat industry corner with butchers, tanners, leatherworkers, and a magma dump. And then Wrex burned down. I think my magma dump failed, too close, must redo somewhere else

magma mist is a bit too Fun for my taste

11:32 speaking of fun, i removed this door on the ocean level when it was winter, to replace it with a wall, i didn't replaced it and so water entered

11:46 there is water everywhere in the stairwell

am making emergency stairs

it seems we will survive this drowning

11:53 we are safe, there's water in the fortress but it is draining through the caverns, so it's not an issue

some images





see the fort is utterly safe



trust me really

now i just have to wait for autumn at 50 FPS

12:12  My drunken friends, the fort goes well, if we ignore all that watery mess who goes in the stairs. We won't drown. I think we need a militia, need to work on it

13:04 building something phallic, after the wooden buildings

13:34 phallic building is being made, i need a militia with wooden weapons

14:22 phallic building is done

the ice is now back, so i closed the hole, no risk of flooding now

now i need militia dwarves

14:36 a werelizard

shit

how do i do with the werelizard

i suppose i must turtle and build walls

14:40 the werelizard is outside, fortress is walled up. Demdemeh is outside, i consider him already lost

the werelizard became a goblin again, Demdemeh has been bitten so he's a werelizard

14:42 alright, having enough, 3 seasons including 2 far too slow because of running water, next !

14:46 saved the game, uploading fort on DFFD

here: http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10937

Although this here "how do I lizard werewolf" quote is priceless. Also some other wins.

[MarcAFK]

So you've now got 2 werelizards, scruffy doing scruffy things, and My dorf is probably drowned in magma or encased in ice?
Good stuff.

[Bobnova]

So you've now got 2 werelizards, scruffy doing scruffy things, and My dorf is probably drowned in magma or encased in ice?
Good stuff.

Or both, but yeah.

Someone should take a turn. I can't.

[Naryar]

i think it's the same werelizard

[MarcAFK]

Or 3 because Demdeh was bitten.

[Naryar]

Or 3 because Demdeh was bitten.

No, he had a goblin name. The same werelizard also had a goblin name.

[Scruffy]

Kind of tempted to take another turn

[Taupe]

Kind of tempted to take another turn

Disclaimer, in exactly eight hour i will be starting a turn while chugging unsafe amounts of wine. Make of that what you will.

[Scruffy]

Kind of tempted to take another turn

Disclaimer, in exactly eight hour i will be starting a turn while chugging unsafe amounts of wine. Make of that what you will.

You got yourself a deal. I will attempt to build something interesting but try not to tamper with Naryar's wooden monument..

[Naryar]

Kind of tempted to take another turn

Disclaimer, in exactly eight hour i will be starting a turn while chugging unsafe amounts of wine. Make of that what you will.

You got yourself a deal. I will attempt to build something interesting but try not to tamper with Naryar's wooden monument..

wait till shoruke sees it

[Shoruke]

So I've been thinking about this word "werelizard". Y'all know "were-" means "man-", right? But they're not man-lizards, they're Dwarf-lizards. So we need a new prefix. Or several, one each for Dwarves, Goblins, maybe Elves...

Dwereflizard. That's my suggestion for Dwarves.
Dwerefwolves.
Dwerefhedgehogs.
Dwerefaardvarks.

[Scruffy]

So I've been thinking about this word "werelizard". Y'all know "were-" means "man-", right? But they're not man-lizards, they're Dwarf-lizards. So we need a new acronym. Or several, one each for Dwarves, Goblins, maybe Elves...

Dwereflizard. That's my suggestion for Dwarves.
Dwerefwolves.
Dwerefhedgehogs.
Dwerefaardvarks.

Weredwarves.
Poor animals. Turning into horrifying little midgets 29 days a month.



Time to get started. All I have this time is a bottle of 3 year old homemade strawberry wine. The taste has changed a bit during the last year or so. Hard to describe it. Hmm..
I suppose that strawberry wine should be drank between 1-3 years of aging since the flavor seems to be becoming less like strawberry and a bit more like diluted whisky. Not a bad taste though
Just drank 3.5dl during the last 10mins but it feels wasteful to drink it this fast.

Let's continue
I was digging a hole. A hole connecting the volcano to the surface while keeping the water out. It is mostly made of ice but that is dwarven physics for you. I had bit of a problem with water and obsidian from ice melted by the magma and then forgot to account for the rising magma level so had to abandon my original plan of making a large diningroom inside the volcano.
Well, now all I can do is try to get rid of the obsidian walls and floors I origianlly planned on using and let the magma rise. Some channeling should do the trick. Will need grates and whatnot.

Bloody caveins. lost a miner to magmamist and dustcloud pushing it into the magma. Or was it 3 dorfs? No matter. Expendable. Will have to remember that most of hte floor is not supported by anything else than the middle staircase that is hanging from the surface and the walls so channeling wihtout planning is a bad idea.
Also started building a corridor to connect the staircase with the main fortress since the original walkway isn't very dorf-friendly with 4/7 magma and all..
Ordered an area of ice to be dug out so it can be used as raw materials. Hopefully I remember to seal it before the ice melts...


Will have to dig out the ice above this place and replace it with floors to prevent it all from flooding once hte ice melts. one missed tile and it is obsidian time. Fun ensured
Trying to make sure it won't flood. Walls and floors and all that stuff but won't seal it yeat. I need the ice. Hopefully I will remember to seal it in time..


I do bnelieve that I'm drunk. All the clues point towards that conclusion. The bottle is finished. I only have one more bottle left and I was planning on saving it for the future but screw that. Future me can just make do wityhout it. Never liked that guy anyway


Since I had to hollow out the z-levels below to make them waterproof I might aswell dig out hte last z-level and connect the whole thing to the surface. It is raining. Water. Never a good sign.


onstant "bring water. no watersource" message spam too. Digging a well. The flooded staircase from earlier turns is a nice watersource. It is muddy but the part with the ramps is deep enough. Perhaps should do something about those doors.. Oh well, two doors is twice as safe so it is safe. The dorfs are not stupid enough to open a door connecting to the sea, right?

Was qwondering why nothing was dug. The miners were trapped in the hole they dug (and I think that one froze to death. whimp) Letting them out now. Will build walls around this place and make it waterproof. Waste not, want not. It would be a shame to leave it unused.


Replacing the ice floors with constructed ice floors so it won't melt but the dorfs are starting to run really low on ice. Shouldne't be a problem around here. Will just have to mine for more. Stripmining a frozen sea. What could possibly go wrong?


Still not enough ice! WE NEED MORE ICE!


Time to build a roof since so it won't rain inside and the dorfs won't die from the freezing temperature while INSIDE the damn fortress since it is currently roofless and considered t obe outside. Wouldn't want any more lazy bums freezzing to death while sitting next to magma..


Bobnova prohibited the export of beds. Lazy bastard. Is he planning on building a fortress out of beds?


Some nameless bugger made this. Beautiful moistness. Pretty much sums up our migrant situation
Seems like quite a few dorfs are dieing in the caverns. Cave crocodiles and giant olms and such. Something broke all the doors so they are roaming free. Dorfs seem to love hanging around the open caverns too.
Too drunk to be bothered to do anything about it. Just sending out a squad to kill a few giant olms and perhaps haul back a few dead dorfs.


This proved to be a nice spot for a depot. Much closer than the previous one and deeper in our fortress so it should be somewhat safe (and easier to loot or seal...)
Ice mining is progressing nicely.



We have a lovely ice roof! Time to get cave-adapted and grumble at the sun


I have a the distinct feeling that digging the sea might not be such a great idea so ordered the ice to b edumped inside. Run little fdorfs, run! What could PSOSSIBLTY go wrong with having half the fortress inside the icelayer?


The hole thingie is done and sealed.Not really sure what to do with it though..
Dorf Tek. Building a better dorfier tomorrow. One casulty at a time.
Because we care.


I am getting the distinct feeling that some of the dorfs are not content with the current state of things. Perhaps I shouldn't have ignored their needs for the last year. Wrez is doing what Wrex always does. Bashing peasants with a piece of clothing


I know! I will make yet another foodroom. forgot the word. eatery? DININGROOM! damn it. Someone will remove it and bu8ld another one next turn most likely. Always happens. Everyone builds a new and "better" dining room eahc turn.
Drunk. Nuff said


Oops. forgout that most of the dining room doesnt have anything to supoprt it so it caved in ahd destroyed part of the constructions below it, thus latting the magma inside. Shit happens. no biggie
Will just have to try to plug it somehow



It melted. Hardly any dorfs died  so it was a great success. That large icemine caused a nice little hole in the sea


tehe durst has settled so I cn start sealing the hole. luckily the magma hasn't reached high enough yet.
..the magma isn't evaporating or hardening or what ever
Will jst use the hole above to cast it with obsidian. There is that "well" (raed: flooded parts of the fortress) nearby so it shouldn't take long


Diningroom is ready to receave drunken midgets Notice the floorless walkways with grilles and lovely little 3z-level drops to the volcano and magmasea.
Ordered some golden statues to be crafted


forgot about the bedrooms and greaves. Graves.Dug large areas for them but forgot to do anytning with them. Woah. So many beds. And grtilles. And other random crap that I forgot on reapted REpeat crafting a year ago since I was too concentrated on building
Will try to build a hosital so the dorfs will stop whining about dieing due to the lack of medical care. Has been happening for quite a while now
Also built some more beds. We have about 80 dorfs but enough beds for perhaps 20. Might explain why so many of them are going melan cholic, rambling or berserk.


fuck damsp stones
fuck olms. lost so many dorfs to giant olms and cave crocs
forgot ti assign jobs for migrants. gotten two waves of them. assigning some fast whjile i still vacn be bothered

Can I just store the dieing dorfs in a stockpile and letre the haulers sort it out?


Enmgravings and statues. Nearly half of the gold statues are hyst statues of various shorukes doing random crap and admiring stuff
85 drorfs


what the hell naryar? just how easily entertained are you? staring at charis and tables makes you happy? good for you=



Eating in a wooden hall onnarrow ledges with a dew z-levels plummet into magma all around an all walkways beoing just granite grilles with no floor belowe while being surrounded from all sides by golden statues of various shorukes admiring random crap or deing of illness?
All in all a good diningroom

Welcome ot ICEFORTRESS! Apply for a migratiuon permit in the nearest overseer's office today!
We got ICE! MAGMA! GIANT OLMS! FUN AND GAMES! GOLD! Often in an exotic mixture of multiple of previously nmentioned features in te same room with ou in the middle!
So many wonderful ways of enjoyuing your short life here in ICEFORTRRESS!
Freezing to death while trapped or just working outside! getting crushd by a cavein! Taking a refresthhing swim in magma! Learning to swim in hte sea! Doing both in hte same time and becoming encased in obsidian, or if that is not your thing, freezing in a block of ice or perhaps stnading on thin ice during spring.
what ever is your thing, we got it. So many uinexpercted ways to end your sorry drunken life





http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10945

[Taupe]

So I've been thinking about this word "werelizard". Y'all know "were-" means "man-", right? But they're not man-lizards, they're Dwarf-lizards. So we need a new acronym. Or several, one each for Dwarves, Goblins, maybe Elves...

Dwereflizard. That's my suggestion for Dwarves.
Dwerefwolves.
Dwerefhedgehogs.
Dwerefaardvarks.

What about ''fuckers''...?

[Scruffy]

Argh. got some salt in my nostril
the save is up.
I'm going to lie down