Right. I'm gonna take a shot every time I think 'I'm not drunk enough for this'. Or whenever I feel like it.
-fortress loads-
Okay, I'm not drunk enough for this. Why do these stairs go so far down oh right for dirt to farm. It's not like there's not enough water to irrigate stuff with xD
Waah all the dwarves have names I can't make one of me waaah I need another drink. Totally. This isn't just an excuse at all.
You think I should take a picture of every shot? You won't see this until after the fact, so I don't know why I'm asking you. But sure. Why not.
I have yet to unpause the game and I've taken two (four?) shots. Think I've taken stock of things. We're gonna make someone outside into a cook so they can use all the food we harvest. Maybe I should make a brewer as well, but then I'd need to make a carpenter to make barrels and then we'd have a whole new fort up here.
Waittaminute. I just had a thought. Why am I building bridges to get across to the main bit of the fort when I can instead have them tunnel up under me? It's GENIUS I tell you! Muahahahaha! MINER! I HAVE A JOB FOR YOU!
Why have we got no hotkeys? We need hotkeys. F1 shows me a bunch of drowned dwarves, and I guess I ought to memorial those. Eh. Later.
Why is my miner farming? Stop farming! Mine! Graar! There. Disabled everything but mining. Need another drink.
Remembering that I have no tolerence and have just had, like, 8 shots, I think I'm gonna stop drinking for a while. If I'm not completely smashed in, like, 20 minutes, maybe I'll have some more.
The miner is already almost there. Whose crazy idea was the bridges, again? WHAT ARE YOU DOING MINER I TURNED OFF ALL YOUR HAULING WHY ARE YOU LEAVING TO GO HAVEST PLANTS?
Dammit, I can't remember how to make only farmers harvest. Gimme a munite.
Fuckkk, can't find it. Right! That's my rule! It costs a drink to look at the wiki! Muahahahaha you're all fucked!
Ah-hah! Trial and error ftw! It's 'o' -> 'h'!
What the hell he's still harvesting make him stip make him stip make him stop! Graaah! I guess it doesnt cancel oncoing orders ih man I am drunnnnk aaaaah.
Well now he's back to mining and he better not stop this time or so help me. Yes, I would kill our only miner over a trifling thingy, why do you ask?
Why is outr cook not cooking oh the trout is raw gimme a minute he is a fish preparer why have we got a fish preparer and not a fisherman oh wait otherway around umm why have we got a fish preparerand not a fish preparing workship umm fishery?!?! The last dude whas silly
Does anyone know what happens to dwarf corpses when they are underwater and it freezes? Do they vanish? I guess they do
Waittaminute does anyone know when I started? Huh I dunno. I#ll play unti; it all freezes and then thaws that seems fair.
Is it bad that I spend most of the time not eeven looking at dwarf fortress and instead just typing on this tingey> thatwas meant to be a question mark but I'm not allowed to fix typ[ois
Aaah more typos
Halp halp all the types are here aaaah I misspelt typos aaaaaah ahahaahaha this is funnnb oh no a b where did the b come from. Lets try again. Screw apostr thingies how do you evens pell that woed. Apostraphe? Apostrophe? Hmm thos look wrogn. Google! Oh ophe is right. Huh.
Waittaminute I am playing dwarf fortess here. Pausepausepasue. Gimme a sec.
Goodnews guys the miner made it. I dont know (screw apostrphe thingies) how you guys dod anyhting like this.
Waittaminute I say that too much why is the miner wait not fishery dude why is the dishery not built yet> How would you even in a foreign l;anguage? I am failing at English xD Uhh I'm gonna turn offff his fishing that's wayyyyyyyy too many f's (andy's (hehehe andys's ^^)) uhh what was I doung oh wait yeah fisheru dude lemme turn off his fishing so he builds the fish cleany place.
huh. We have two fish cleany dudes. Fishy dudes. Whatever. I turned off only one of their fishy labors/ I cheat by using wwarf therapist. Wow my spelling is shot. Hehe shot I needanother shot waittaminute this is a bad idea I said earlier ah scewit shot. I'kll takeapicture this time. Oneofyou betterhave shown me how to uplaod puctures.
maybe I should pausethegame naahhhhh. Howdid you guys get anything at all done like this I am being so dumb okay wait I'm gonna pauser the game. There. Paused. Shot! Whyismyphonestucktothecomputer? Screwthespacebar. Leggo! Hehe lego but with mroe o's! g's! Whatever! Ain't nobody got time ofr that disconnect thingymajabber youknowwhatimean screwspacebars!
I dunno why I even what I appatently hit tab ah well screwit I dunnowhy I even am drinking I know I oughtn't. I wonder if I'm gonna make myself sick.
Miner! Why aren't you moving!
Ohwaitthegame is pasued.
Goodnewsguys! Miner made it! Uhh I dyunno what i'm meant to do now. Hiccups make typing on a laptip hard.
Carpenter! make a door and lotsa barels!
Waittaminute! How did s-dude i forgethisname type in japanese if he has an english keyboard? He musr have a japanese keyboard but he was also typing int english! It's a mysetry for the ages!
Oh fusk the game is tsill paused. Space bar!
Guys spacebar isbt' working I think I broke it. Oh wait I wwasinnamenu I guess I clicked on the screen. Escape! Ahahahahaah! It lives!
Lemme pause it forraminute I just realised my rule suckes aint nobody got time for the forum when drunk. Hmmm. Waittaminute you guys gotta add me to the todwarf list unless I get midrants i'll probly get migrant its cool nvm/. Uhh what was I dong? ahaha dong! Oh wait yeah. my rulle sucks I'mma thing og a new one.
ahaha waow m y typing sucks too I guess it really does get wrser when I am drunk xD
Uhh guys I dunno what I am meant to do. issti;ll paused. Huh. Headfeelsfunny aint been drunk in solong. Screw you sacerpbarr. You only puase r gamer lemme unpause
Oh no its esc again screwyou s[acebar!
This is gonna be silly I'm too talky when I'm dtrunk so its really really long oh no i forgot an apostropeh screw you capslock oh waitthat does have an s i thought that was a typo!
Lemme pause it. I dunno what wmy wdarves are doing. Waittaminute i said screw capslock. No capsolck. aaarch its a reflex I alwats hit it this is harrrdl
What was I doing again.
Huh oh right yeah fishery. Yo Dude. Don;t makeadishing. Makeafihsrey. I'm nevergonnafishnishmeturn. Screwyouspacebar.
Ithinkigottoodrunkthis is badddd. Aaaaah.
Not getting anywhere. Too drunk. I'ma just unpause it forever and seewhethappens.
Whaddya mean i cant bildadoor i needadoor!? I havea carpenters workshop building soors whyanit he builta door? Ohwaitisstill puased. Aaah wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy too drunk. Tahts' enough y's I think!
Why w0nt you unoaubs oh wait its ec again isnt it gimme a sec
yeah esc worked. What didI wanna do again?
Why is f3 a button for dead people? Who dumbass did that? Oh waitthatwas me. I'll beamazed if youguys can readthis. Every otherspacebar apartenyly.
Ahaha I am waytoodrunk. Waywayway too drunk.
I'ma try t get spacebar right at least. WHat is going on in game>
pause! Miner! Getbacktodiggingbigroom wait apscebar. Miner! Get back to diggin bug room you were diggin. Don;t know what is for. But diggit!
Whydoi have acpslock pressed nothing is working I still wanna go b ack and fixed tyupos.
Gottapee gottapee gotta pee.
Huh shouldupause it noneed!
I lived ahaha whose carsy idea was this screw you all I dunno who i should balems ot screwyouall! Muahaha! Wattaminute game isn;t paused.
Howdoicheck tye calender?m Well anyeay nothings frozen yet soi'mall good.
This fort is soscrewed its noteven funny expcept its funny too many ps' but i cant fiz it.
Why I am so drunk? I only had 4 shots! Well, maybe 8? And then a few drinks before and I have no tollerence!
ehehe I have a cunning plan
Nect tume I will do the take a shot a beer a minute forever thigny. It'll be awesome.
Man I hoep I mnt fgonna be sick I dont like being suck. Sick. Whyisthegame fearking paused unpause!
Huh the kitchen isnt working because some ofthefish is too dangerous to get to. Howdoyou forbit stuff?
Whereis the kitchen getting fat from to render fat? Didi kill something>?
I'm a make drinks ahaa I am useful!
Ihopewe have abrrels I think I tolda carpenter to make them lemme check!
Yesidid! Ahahhahaha!
Iwarned you I was talky hwne I was drunk! So no complaining!
Shouldi be taking screenshots? Screwthat i don't even know how puctires work! I'm sure you can work it out from my drunkern ramplings!
Qhy are you smlal forterss game? Get bug! Maximise! see I have magic secretyl!
I really thinkiought to have dug more rooms or something.
lastdude mayhave kuilled lotsa people but he atleast madestuff. Everyother space is plentyright?
What fo you mean dangerous terrain> Dig! Dig!
OhwaitI designated to edge of the magme things shute thatstheworkd for digginf,
Thank gord i mean armok for dwarfs being clever.
Wait fuck is too late. Theres smike. Tha dangerosu terrainw was because he'd have to work in magme. hopehe lived. This room is lost. Whatever magma doesnt do pressure I'ma just makeanother.
Hehe DJ is down staris. I think I wasn;t meant to get thisdrunk.
Waitfuckithinkits too late. Think mr naryar minder bit the dust already. Hmm. Quick! Newrandomdragon! Youreaminer now quick grab his pick before it is consumed by the lava and all is lost!
Okat, he didnt makeit in time. We';re all screwed. Maybe the caraven will haveapick. Hasit come yet?
Warned everybody on the forums. Gon make a chable and tair for a bookkeeper to show them hiw screwed weare. I'llshowem. I'llshowemall. Muahahahaha!
Needa goto the bathroom. Berightback, random dudes! And (hopefully not) ladies!
Okay, survived the loo.
I think I need more parcative at this. Practice. OR less drinsk.
Fishy dude, we've run outta fish! Gobacktofishing!
Whyis q notworking? Ohwait I have capslock on! Capslock! Go off!
Whyisittaking so long foru to build that chair/
Ohwait the game was pausing. Seeat I never pausignd it that tiem. Chairisdone now.
Muahaha soon we will have a bookeeper!
Bottom room is done flooding with lava! Time to see if i am right about pressure! If Iam wrong this is gonna be messy xD
Okay, I thin this could have worked if I;'d been slightly less drunk> mebbe I'll try later. I think mygame is doomed now.
But seriously, useaminer to rescuethe stuck dudes. Bridges are a waste of time.
Why is the missing dude labeled 'minor' not 'miner'? I thinkthe game has a type guys?
Shorkue! Now u havean office! It's the eniter floor of above the farms so it's a very nvce office! Tellus how screwed we are! I command it!
Wiat, you were already a bookeeper. Huh. Maybethere was already an office. And a crapenters. hehe crap. *carpenters. Eh. Whaverver. Now there';s another.
Okay, everything is gonna get moved from the food stockpile next to my new kitchen to the old pile.
While I'm attit, goodbye newkitchen. We can justuse old kitchen!
Good news guys! Iwaas right! lava has no rpessure so therest of the fort is safe!
Badnews, we still havenopicks
I havta work out how to see the date. Iknowhow to dothis but Iforget.
Poll
Author
Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1239515 times)