Why did I promise to do this? I am
not good enough at Japanese to actually manage this.
Fuck, I'm dumb.
This spot looks nice. Temperate, lots of water, easy-to-dig-through soil layer, easy access to magma...
Tinypic, I am too drunk to deal with your bullshit captchas right now, I can't spell properly even without your wibbly-wobbly letters giving me a headache. Fugoff.
Let's see, gonna bring food, and drinks... maybe not much beer, though. Beer sucks.
Cats and strawberries, though. Yum.
Hey, what happened to all my points? Welp, guess we're making do without a wheelbarrow.
I guess our military guys can be the food-makers on their days off... Ugh, how do militia training schedules work again? I should really look that up.
*incoherent drunken Japanese. Something about a bridge*
What should I name the fort...?
"Splatteredmachine the God-forsaken Island". Sounds legit.
Our group is named "the Sack of Bodies", btw. Also legit.
Wow, that landscape is... interesting? Suuure, let's call it that...
Wait, we're standing on ice? Won't it melt?
...pffffff AHAHAHA WE ARE SO FUCKING BONED! This is gonna be ‼fun‼, I can just tell
...wait, uh, how long do we have until the ice melts...?
Run! Hurry up, run for the volcano! Because it's... safer... Yup, that's Dwarf Fortress for you.
Hey, where's all the plants?
Oh, right, under the snow. Of course.
* shoruke actually looks up "Duh" on Google translate
Huh, the Japanese equivalent of "Duh" is apparently three words long. Weird.
MOAR DRINKINGS!Okay, so to make a military...
1) Open the magma wiki
2) read the magma wiki
3) follow the instructions of the magma wiki
4) ? ? ?
5) Profit!
Aaaaaaand we don't have a barracks, so the military dudes won't train. Figures. Go rustle up some grubs or something.
WHAT IS THIS!? WHAT IS GOING ONNNn oh it's just falling leaves. I thought I'd embarked in an evil biome by accident and the red stuff was like, blood clouds or something, but no, it's just leaves.
"Winter is upon you"
Whaaaaaaaat. Beg pardon!?
Winter, already?
Uh, well, at least the lake will stay frozen for a while... right?
Oh, right! The Dorfs' names.
akpth, my beard is full of vodka (surprisingly, Google Translate got that line perfectly right. I took a sip of my vodka, my hand slipped, and I soaked my beard)
Stupid beard.
Trade Depot is important.
I'm creating a room in the ice layer. Might help prevent flooding.
Gonna be
beautifulUm... oops? Heh...
Messed up the distancing in the hallway, so it's gonna be crooked. Oh well, it's okay, right? As long as wagons can get to the depot it's fine.
Ooh, hey, we can make cool things out of ice! (heh, cool) I'm gonna make a paved road made of ice, it's gonna be so
cool awesome-looking when the (other) ice melts!
*I don't know what I said to cause Translate to say "baboon baboon"*
Hey, neat, the volcano shows us where the cavern is!
*5 seconds later*
Buuuuuut not
enough of the cavern to prevent me from breaching it in a stupid spot like a retard.
The caverns all full of Elk Birds and Naked Mole Rats... Ugh, what to do...
...ELK BIRDS ARE WIMPS! Let's do this!
Yeah, screw you, cavern fauna! Oh, whoops, I fucked up the staircase, it's exposed to the volcano and a flier could get in... I can fix this...!
...I need some immigrants. High FPS is wasted on the understaffed forts.
This wall is perfect.
Huh, this is some awful high-density cavern features. The water is right next to both magma tubes.
Also, the second cavern is like, 5 z-levels away from the first. Sheesh.
What the
fuck is a gander?
* shoruke wikis it
It's a bird. Okay.
Spring is here? Already!?
Well, the ice hasn't melted yet, so...
Boooooooo I wanted to see the ocean
Oh, balls. The cavern wall has a weak spot. Guess I gotta go patch that up.
?
>=D
Elves? Eeeeeheeeheehee Time to steal everything!
Bull
shit I'm already at highest precision.
Take everything! All of it! The food, the animals, the clothes, the dirt, everything!
Whoa, dizzy... too drunk...
Uh, everything changed colour, what's going on!?
The ice is melting? But a bunch of our stuff is still up there, fuck fuck fuck
Okay, okay, it's just the snow melting, but the ice is still there. We're okay. No problems.
Hey Naryar, why are you so bad at digging ice chunks out of the ice mines?
Uh. Bit wet up there, eh?
So, this is what the fortress entrance looks like now.
Uh... sorry, guys. My bad?
Just you and me left, Naryar.
Well, the two of us, plus that cat who is somehow on the outside of the ice wall. How'd he even...?
HEY
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO MY ICE ROADS?!?
ffffffff
FFFFFFF
FFFFFFFFFFUCK!...well, nothing to do but take stock of what's left. Let's see, we've got 2 dorfs, one with a pick, we've got some food and seeds... frankly, it could be a
lot worse.
Man, I thought Ice Sculptures were impervious to melting? I can hold back a magma flow with an ice wall, I can't bridge a lake with it too?
useless fuckin' physics and the fuckin' rassum frassum....
Uhh, cat, how'd you get up there?
It's summer! You can tell by the flooding.
Migrants! Yes! Yesssssssss
Now get to work. You can come inside once you've built a bridge.
7 Immigrants. Okay, not bad.
They've got a start on the bridge. There's more than enough chopped wood outside to finish it.
Here's our lineup.