Begin the turn proper. Everything is working because somehow my old utility pack is compatible. Let's rock.
I actually spend about some time talking with my roomate's twin about the fort. He comes and check whats going on because i spend about some time (but less) muttering ''its so beautiful''. Because it is. the place is flooded and its not by magma. Incomprehensible. Slim Alexis is also impressed (names are hard), but asks why the water is filled with animal traps. i try to explain what the original builders were thinking by pointing at my own sorry state. he understands. we understands. Then i look at the fort and nothing makes sence.
Why is there water. why are there channeled strips everywhere filled with water. is someone building a giant tree? i see a crannog filled with hen houses (you know what i mean) with a pool on top.
it's so beautiful.
so beautiful.
I dont understand any of it.
so i poor another drink.
* * *
there is one thing I can actually do that wont fill the place with water (more). (man, i love those round text things. i also forgot their name. I'll call them circlemas. cause they are circular).
That thing is obviously to proclaim one dwarf as a savior. A our lord.
a hero is reborn.
I'm so excited, i stab myself with a microphone and stats bleeding everywhere. By reflex, i start licking the thing. I'm drinking my own blood.
And i dont even like blood!Still trying to understand what happens in this fort.
wait, how do you pierce a fucking hand with a microphone. sence, this makes none. maybe im too sober. lets make a new drink.
* * *
so there,s no scweppes left somehow. no way im touching that terrible blue drink again. Why did i not learn from the shaq soda. Blue drinks are the worst. What else do i have? Ice tea? no, ice tea + southern looks dumb. Im not gonna google it. I cant open another tab. i just declared ''flushing the toilet without injuring myself'' a total victory.
If i look back i am lost. dragons. a monster. Southern confort plus monster.
Its a texas chainsaw Massacre. Im so productive. New drinks. Oh my wows. this thing. its the best. Use the sugarfree white one. its so good.
back to the fort. Still no sence made.
* * *
honestly I dont know what garnierite is. Its green, and beautiful. Probably not a gem, yet i want it. i want it so bad, ill order some exacatavet, turned into blocks, and then ill put awesome leaves atop the magical tree.
quick, must remember how to set workshops to take only from one thing.
logic dictates that i dig in the caverns where thers tons of it, instead of drilling into the workshops district wall. watch all the fucks i give in action.
I investigate further down, to see whats there. maybe more garnierite?
Oh, its hell.
nevermind
the workshops will do fine.
On a slightly related note, anyone knows what those do? speak now before my dwarves run to the levers and find out by themselves.
nevermind, it says ''drain water'' altho my hopes that it actually does so are slim at best. If my hopes were a fashion model, they would be thin enough to make the cover.
* * *
I found the dinning hall. so beautiful.
to think someone with a state of mind such as mine could design something so beautiful is unconceivable (small circlumas here, its conceivable but not for me).
Im like, i should design something like this but i can barely ackowledge my need to visit the pee room (or whatever its called, fuck names) and remember where it is. to think someone made such a beautiful room, wow. Much swag, such pillars, very neat. I cant design anything as incredible, but i can improve it. soon, we will have garnierite EVERYTHING. (small circlumas here, except camels, garnierites camels would be silly)
I can,t find the workshops anymore.
* * *
TheFlame52!!
you have been dorfed using an advanced redundancy system. Should any of your three dorfs die (small circlumas here, very likely) The rest of your name will live on.
no progress whatsoever. spent five minutes singing the theme of samurai Jack while brawling ghost ninjas.
* * *
the wall has been pierced. Found the workshops again. Look at what was unveiled. so much Garnierite. Is the world ready for so much garnierite? I cant tell. but the show must go on.
i order it mined
im crying.
wait. someone filled the nearby sotckpile i made with claystone. What claystone6 its not garnierite, is what it is, ill tell you that much. Gotta edit the stocjkpile. I look everty where, find it not. Wait.
Garnierite is a METALIC ORE?
I just knew it was the best. guys, garnierite is a metalic ore of all things. Can you imagine?
...
i have no idea what that implies.
* * *
A elven carvan from something something has arrived.
what do they want. What can i trade them?
They are after our garnierite!I try to screenshot their arrival but the message vanish. How volatile
then i spill some of my texas chainsaw massacre. Not all of it.
Its on my keyboard. I aint wasting that shit. I start licking my keyboard.
And i dont even like keyboards!Even my drink is volatile now.
fucking elves.
you aint getting my garnierite.
you are getting my spears.
* * *
not sure wjhere the elves are, actually. We have 4 squads. i send them all against the garnierite stealers. Protect the green metalic non-economic ore! At
all costs. I dont know where the elves are so i just rectangle murder everything on the map. its not like we
need wombats, seriously. they,d just take our garnierite if they could.
Plus, they get a +2/+2 for every enchant creature they have. better kill them now.
* * *
Visit from a friend!
he came to my house, to say hi on his way. not sure im well enough to receive guests. si i made a prank. he lended me his Final Fantasy tactics disk last week. except last monday during the 4/20 someone broke the mario kart 8 cd. My roomate was showing the friend our cd, broken. I come out with my own, old and broken FFT cd, stating: sorry bro, all the disks in the consoles were broken that day somehow. Im so sorry.
he dies inside
I wait an eternity.
for non-drunks thats 30 seconds.
then i tell huim, just kidding, thats my old own cd, its been broken for years yours is fine.
Im like, a dick.
* * *
by checking the logs, i find that we have recently been fighting creepign eyes.
whats a creeping eye
why is it in the frotress
Why are we fighting it
where is it now
...
the fort is no longer beautiful.
* * *
I tell people to bash the elves for no reason, but all i see in the unit screen is a bunch of sloth monsters from the underwiorld. why is it there. why is it a thing
why do we have sloth monsters from the underworld.
Probably something to do with the ''hell'' thing i spotted earlier.
i expect people to fight elves, or maybe like wombats, but more texts about creeping eyes pop up.
i dont think i like this place anymnore.
I am torn between heroicly saving this fort, and doing jack shit becauser im piss drunk.
still, i feel like my writing is surprisingly efficient right now. im like, a drunken virtuosi.
*goes to play something on the piano*
yeah, hum, disregard that,.
* * *
No one is fighting elvesd. everywhere, creeping eyes.
there is only creeping eyes and sloth monsters.
what scares me is that, the messages about fighting updated, but i dont see any creeping eyes in the unit list.
theyM're just,,, there, somewhere.
in the background my other roomates are back i hear the twin say ''my brother should come back,. They speak the same language, they understand each other,.
this is how obscure dwarf fortress is. People are confused by it, itsd another language,.
Oh.
and this.
this happens.
Are the caverns sealed?
I hope they are.
* * *
Man im so wasted. Just spent like, some random time talking to firnds. cant play anymore. must sleep. hope you punks like pterosaurs.
will post sav when im somewhat coherent.
here's the save y'all.
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1239984 times)