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I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

[Kamin]

So, to establish, I have no clue what I'm doing but here comes a turn assuming I don't throw up and fall asleep immediately.

Welcome to Hell, fellow imbiber. Simply download the save and attempt a year; there's really not much to it! Try to take some screenshots if you can, as it's always nice to have some visual reference when it comes to the chaos. We are all looking very much forward to it; here is Scruffy's latest turn link: http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10796

[Scruffy]

I have no clue what I'm doing but here comes a turn assuming I don't throw up and fall asleep immediately.

That pretty much sums up the whole history of !!DrunkFortress!! in a single sentence. That's the spirit!
Looking forward to reading your turn

Dr.StrangeWeird, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the dorf

[Kamin]

Dr.StrangeWeird, or how I learned to stop worrying and love the dorf

Love what you did there.

[DrStrangeWeird]

Okay so so far I see a lot of lumber, water and dead things which is pay for the course for any solid dwarfer



why do we have a huge water trench?

more to the point, why is the entire floortress a shitty kevin costner movie? full disclosure I kind of liked that movie bur now I mknow the problems with the project

Oh, I forgot to mention. I got absolutely fucked up on a local wine and now I'm just blowing through quality british and mexican beer like nobody's business

I like the waterbridge society we've got going on but this can't last.I remove useless deisgnations and get to the most important point

we need to fix everything wrong with this hellhole, namely the flooding, which involves a lot of channeling

note: that is a LOT OF DEAD DWARVES



Okay, moving on to important things.

So, the good news is that we have 38 living dwarvews

and every layer is surrounded by horrible, horrible water
bad news is that every layer of fort is surrounded by WATER WHY ARE THERE GIANT WATER AREAS EVERYWHERE


rip these guys

who dug a moat that does ten million years beneath the ground? how is this a good idea?

the onlt answer is to drain this stupid garbage until we have a working...giant hole into the sky above...



Note: this is not how BEDROOMS WORK

So we have a lot of priorities to sort, okay

there are many dead people for no reason

the answer is to flood caverns...somehow...and the second layer is totally exposed, goo job

the phallus projects are now forbidden while we fix the flodding and get magma forgez going



here's the beginning of the drain project

we need roomks for nobles if they stiff aholes from the mohtahins are ever gonna take us seriouslt insert roleplaying here i don't even
we have two miners. two TWO

WHAT DID YOU DOO???

we need slabs

badly

olfuk me

Why is anybody idling??

I assigned everybody to mine well a lot and then everybody should be hauling. Jesus christ.



congrats randomwyrn

why isn't anybody HAULING

so many lazy



the forgotten beiber that is...sonewhre...has been murering frogs for likea year??

put some farms down, we need good to suribe

So...you know how I was gonna drain everything?

yeah,..then a giant parrot that qwas murdering street frogs just showed up....



so nobody was maming stuff to eat or drank so i booted up thrapist and now we've got evetrybody mining, crafting, or or making good things to stuff in our holes

I had status installed everywhere to improve morale

plump helmet farm begun\
so we have more ghosts than rick moranis of the last decent movie of his entire career...




hopfully all the slabs im having made solves the ghost problems

since armok knows we have enough dead dudes

getting bored, making up names for dorfs

anyways we need need rooms for nobles, gonna do that until I can drain this literal garbage

all i wanna do is buuld the wall higher and now there is MIASMA god hatesme



diggig to magma so we can also get some wortwbhile forges going since eveybody here is stupid irreponsible

idlers down to zero, decided to award ppl with captain poistions intheir own squads



FUGG
we're basically flooded with spipers


nice pump, u rhitsty?



engraving spooks. modern definition, not the kind that gets you in trouble, besides

gosh we have a lot pf permission wod

two farms going for good, we will survive  (maybe? thats a good damn questin but whos asking me you amn batard_)

the chief med dwarf is just standing in the pu mp zone drinking pit water in a pudle of isolation still

slaughtering aminals for meat

lots more statues to mkae dwarfvs happy?

I have to say thius "between the horrible monster-filled xaves" dwelling is terrible but also great

its slabbin time boys and girls, and i am defrinitely afraid of some ghost

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tdyU_gW6WE mood music

our new exp leader is takeh by a fell nood!

elves arrive! we trade....something...with them...I just hit buttons for barrels because this fort couldn't manage it stocks any worse jebus h

i like how ruhn is the only dwarf who does anything of any real impotenc

FFFF

so i move all goos to the depir only to isicover therss TWO OF THEM AND THEY WENT TO THE ONE INSIDE OUR GIANT WOODEN WATERKOGGED HEKLHOLR



hi, elves! this is where we put the bloadted waterlogged bastards we cant ind :-)

the elves insulted me

INSULTED ME

I TOOK IT ALL BUT IT'S NOT OVER

ALL DWARVES TO ARMS




WHO IS DROLL NOW??

him because we just destorited that measly elf and it only took fopurteen dwarves'



okay im about to fall aslepp goodnoight

good news: we got wood

http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10802

edit: christ, I barely made it three months

[Shoruke]

Liked the turn, welcome to Drunk Fortress 

In other news, there 8 votes for "I am Shoruke". Apparently I am 2/3rds as popular as dicks, and twice as popular as Not Dicks, which I feel is a decent rating 

[Random_Dragon]

Everyone is the prinny. Even the animated beards, even the mantises, even the dragons. owo

[Scruffy]

and every layer is surrounded by horrible, horrible water
bad news is that every layer of fort is surrounded by WATER WHY ARE THERE GIANT WATER AREAS EVERYWHERE

Bu.. but the water keeps the elves away and the mangled corpses keep us warm. It also rids the fort of fatally stupid dorfs.

Note: this is not how BEDROOMS WORK

No. That is how hospitals work. You know, the places for storing corpses until they can be hauled and where mangled dorfs go to die while the CMO is sleeping on a pile of booze and vomit.
The bedrooms are beneath. The place with all those dead crundles and mushrooms growing out of the muddy floor under piles of old dwarven laundry

Seriously though, trying to drain that lake is a really bad idea. The water will just keep endlessly flowing back in from the river and kill the fps. (And there is a lever for that too)

A solid turn. Will check the save out of curiosity

Edit: Did you upload the correct save? I don't think that's your new turn

[Naryar]

Welcome to drunk fortress ! Nothing really exceptional happened on your turn, but there are turns like that.

Also dwarf-on-elf violence is always a plus.

[DrStrangeWeird]

I'll reupload the save just to make sure. Also I got sleepier way faster than I planned, so hopefully next time I last a bit longer.

edit: should be the right file now.

[Naryar]

May take a turn this week. Probably in a few days, not sure though.

[Scruffy]

I'll reupload the save just to make sure. Also I got sleepier way faster than I planned, so hopefully next time I last a bit longer.

edit: should be the right file now.

I like the sculpture gardens and what ever the rest of those tunnels is. The three levers without notes are a bit unsettling though.

Plenty of unused statues still left. Most of them are pictures of random animals or Ruhn and Kamin admiring and hugging various objects

[Bobnova]

I'll reupload the save just to make sure. Also I got sleepier way faster than I planned, so hopefully next time I last a bit longer.

edit: should be the right file now.

I like the sculpture gardens and what ever the rest of those tunnels is. The three levers without notes are a bit unsettling though.

Plenty of unused statues still left. Most of them are pictures of random animals or Ruhn and Kamin admiring and hugging various objects

Random Dragon was mean to meeeeeeeeee

[Naryar]

Kamin9 ? Why isn't it Bobnova 9 ?

[DrStrangeWeird]

Excuse the double post, but I figured out the problem with my last turn: I got wasted too fast. I think the trick is to start before you're drunk with the buzz so you can actually begin and gauge your pace, then get totally sauced before actually starting up fortress mode proper. I got a deal on a bunch of mixed drinks, draining a six pack of lynchburg lemonade now. I just feel bad about leaving things like this without actually finishing, so consider this part deux to my turn.

---

So, back to where we started. The draininage problem is a result of just dumping the entire brook into our fort with channels, so to fix it we have to create a huge resevoir to drain off the incoming brookwater and quickly build some floodgates on the topmost level.

I've got what few masons we have working on floodgates and all building projects are going to the the newly created Operation DigDug.

The good news is that the nobility's two-level rooms are already finished, now they just need smoothing and engraving before we put down all our furniture.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

those walls are stupid uneven...great job, me. I'm great.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

featured: our military of literally everybody wielding reed socks they stole from the half-mangled corpses not buried under a million water psi mopping up those pointy-ear tree humpers.

Aaand now they're chasing a mule I didn't even tell them to kill.

They spent a week chasing it and another week beating the hell out of it. Congrats, proud dwarves.

randomwyrm begins his mysterious construction.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The culmination of the deaths of most of the fort, the centerpiece of watery death, the fufillment of the darkest hour of the forts a fcking quern

a FCKING

QUERN

 

I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. I stick the quern in public where everybody can be ashamed of randomwyrm in public, like its mean(t) to be

OH armbok's STONESPHERES

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

originally this pit was the beginning of the drain project, but I forgot about the diagonal flow...dont know how since "doors" in our forts are just gaping diagonal holes in the walls

so now its moved backwards and goes all the way down the fort, flooding the secondary dug out surface area

worfs keep dispearing but I'm getting to the point where Im too ambilvanet to care

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

i hope u new guys are good at not drownding naming myself in this group

theres so many dead ppl I can't name them all

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

current population as of now

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...and we juts have a door indo the fort to the cave full of evil giant parrots???

BUILD YOU DWARVES OH GOD HURRY

...so that door was unloked and the forbotten beabst is just...standing around admiring our grates

walling off the "hopstical"

okay wall built around fancy grate room of forgotten beabsts

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ABBAMANTINE'S BACK ONM THE MENU BOYS

hit magma, forgesa re cbming

fck my fingres, tingly

stoll telling me about damp stone i dont caaaaaaaaare. having to rediesingate by hand is fucking killiinm e

to improve general moral Im givin everybobby pets! Pets 4 all! hip hoo frickin ray!

magma smelter up!!...

...

we got garnierite.

garnieite???

How d yu smelt hair care poducts???

w/e fuggit

dwrofs with no meltals? you should be asshammed

need more debrooms so here comes more bedooms

So, member when i mentioned our fuend Shaggy the Parrot?

apparently hes contempt effin up our grapes instead of brekin in...whoever bulids those grates? u saved all the dwwarves.

drifted off for a second. Im back now.

so...a bun of the bebrooms are directly beneath an undering flood of water above...don't see much problem there

why do you hte dorfs?

I reiterate...this is NOT how you build bedrooms...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

drunk fortress? more like north korea floortress

I can feel the depsair comin off these poor bearded dirtsucking midgtets

aptly enough this is gonna be our prison later if somebody doesdnt kill us before then

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

yeah...kobolb takes one look at dis shiphole and runs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

taken by fey mood

claimed metalsmiths

whole lotta northin happening

Note: I DO NOT CARE ABOUT DAMP STONE. STOP TELLINP ME.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Notex2: I am still afraid of some ghoast

notex3: ont open any doors. ever

doing exploplatory minning

delcious adamantmine

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

our dear endok makes something immmediately vegetable

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

our frog friend has beenb usy

rememer kids just say no to fire this elk bird didnt say no hard enouh

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

we got carrots out da butt

more migrtants: welcome to our waterlogged clusterfck! go pick plants you lazy peazsents.

hey gys, guess what? there/ s nothing to catch iin the western soaps. Guess what I just found that out TEN TIMES IN THE ROW.

rapplesnackes eveywhere

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I tghink the mule kickeded him into a pond.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

this is why we dont let drunks build hopstials irl. yes, thats a hill going into anoter level on the rigth side

the spipers from last updast are back and making lost of silk for us in ecxhange for making dwarfs into michel j, foxes 

toadys guitar...it haunts me.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WAIT! thE WGSONS RRIVED an THEN JUST TURNT AROUN WHEN THEY HIT THEY DEPOT?? WHY?? dont run!

it'\s just water! ignore the COPSES!

grat. no beer aanf no food make homer go grazy

its finally happeend. We/re too runk for the humans.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

how can tyhey ask us for stuff wehn they wont give us none???

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

congrats taupe snd clover  your babby has your bear

speakign of wheres my beer

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

more moods. hoppefully this shist isnt a cat dung ring or w/e

OH GOGD OH DAMN

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ALL I WAMNED WAS TIO DRINK MALKT LIQUOR

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

MUST ACT FAST MUST BUILB WELL

it was like a miercle

noboby was buildin walls even though i had like twenty and no jobs activated, like 35 idlers, good jobs dwalves no really its just hell ITSELP

and finally on lone mason builds th vry last wall wit obsidian NO LESS

im doubling layering it to be safe

and suddendy...it came to me...this is how we drain it.

we floobd Hell.

excet my turn is now over almost so...there musty be another.

the Project DigDug is rpetty much done...all i gotta do is chanel the last sectuions at the brook. also, i made a statute garden. Enkoy it.

But we DO an adamatmine.

...think i built the drain on thr wong side.

more migranbts

forgot about the guy makin arpefacts, now he punched a yak

taupe and shoruke now live together in the nobiles section. enjoy 

dwarfs will bild themselles in to walls but womt build next to a fkin CREEK

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

yeah...wyrm's suck at the bottom of the DigDug hole. Deep.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He gout out somewho?? QUKCK! DIG HIM TI SAFETY!

okay so got the rescue done but now we're infestied with crepping eyes! judas poirest please!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

holy crap thats a lot pof blooud.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

it'll be useful for scarfing crundkles, at least .

thats all i got, goodnight againx32

savbe: http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10805

[Scruffy]

Clowns? Fun times ahead.

Nooo... spare my lake.
 After so much work put into building a relatively watertight fort and filling the exterior with water..
There really is a lever for emptying the lake anyway.

Also, the caverns appear to be on fire
Wait, you removed all of the old bedrooms?
Hmm... the water drain doesn't seem to affect the waterlevel at all. The river fills it faster than it can drain. The only thing it affects is the cavern ecosystem and the fps. It also seems to be indirectly flowing into the forges which are temporarely inaccessable

I kind of like it!