Ok, let's get this party started. I woke up after 4 hours of sleep, spending most of the night listening to a giant-sized garbage truck under my window. Those things are
loud man. Went to work, and immediately told my boss I was having none of this shit, and left. the half-dead robot voice convinced them to let me go. I hate exactly one Tim Horton morning sandwitch thing, then took out the booze. I'm not drunk enough yet, but every chug of fireball deals 5d6 fire damage to any hostile organism down my throat, including by sobriety.
Got the save. Gonna browse random shit while getting more drunk. Maybe get the game going
before I get too wasted this time?
Naaah.
10h11: Someone just stormed off with my bathroom door. Says he'll be back with it tomorrow. Now people are drilling the block to shreds. My room is shaking. Ugh, worst timing ever, people. That's it, everyone make a dc 17 reflex save.
10h23: Watching John Oliver do his show on wutever. Still not drunk enough. I don't want to rush it, as I plan to survive this day. somehow, i misplaced my bottle of fireball. Which is impressive when you consider I haven't left my chair and was drinking it a minute ago. Thankfully, my computer desk is filled with semi-empty bottles, because who uses CDs anymore, this is 2014.
Baratheon Booze is best booze. You can tell this is working, because I usually never smile.
10h30: As I look at bobnova's gisnature quotes, and remember that the thread used to be called ''a very weregecko hellscape'', John Oliver starts to talk about the russians losing a satelite full of fucking geckos. This is not swearing, btw. The geckos are in space to fuck in zero gravity. Why do we have weregeckos? Because russian. Thanks, Putin. You asshole.
Meanwhile, i found the fireball. It was on the right side of my chair. Strange. I usually don't interact with this side of the chair.
The bottle is half-full. Despite me losing it for half the time I was using it. I guess I suck at this whole ''taking it slowly'' thing. Time to set up the save. We will have the LNP this time. It will be glorious.
10h36: Still downloading the tÀ
3ij
Sorry felt like bashing the keyboard randomly. As I was saying, still downloading the lazy newb pack. I don't feel like a noob, but i'm definitely lazy right now. you can tell because I've been sucking on a beer cap for 5 minutes, for exactly no reasons.
Man, I should order a giant seafood pizza. They taste so good. I don't usually grab them because they are ludicrously expensive, but they feed me for two days. Bad decisions. I put a timer on my phone. When the phone beeps, i will aquire a pizza, and fail to open the door for the delivery door, possibly being black listed by the pizza place. That's how advanced I am. I make trrible drunk decisions, plan for them in advance, and still go through with them. Go, booze. fuck life, I'm a
wizard.
Hey, download finished!
10h48: Still not absolutely drunk. Doing something else while getting ready. truth be said, there is no such thing as ''practicing to play the piano efficiently while drunk''. It just. it dont work man.
10h53: i think it is time to begin. I am now better at correcting my typos because I AM A WIZARD. Wizards are smart. Man I said dc 17. that mean 18 intel, yo, unless I took some feats which i don't recall doing. i guess I'm just a drunk genius. a drunk genius. I will use said genius to solve the current crysis of the fort, and get no credit for it. I'm basically Tyrion Lannister. Except I'm like 6 foot tall. Disregard.
11h00: Ok, booting the save. I decided to slow down on the fireball, because im low on spells per day I guess. this thing in my fridge is called a Lion's Winter ale. which is rdundant because all ales are winter ales in canada. BUT it has a fancy lion on it and somwhat taste
grat GREAt. that's a winner in my heart.
10h03:
Well, the fort looks different than i remember. Way less pyramids, much more lava.
11h06: wow, demons and dead dwarves. everywhere. The good news is, a chicken is in hell, and perfectly alive. Good job buddy. Greater news still, lord mister Tacos is back.
Wow they carved my catacombs out. all of them
Its like a tiny christmas miracle made of stone and dead dwarves.
11h12: Decided to brainstorm on current plans. went to pee instead. very awkward withotu a door. instead ended up having a fight in my living room against imaginary dolphin ninjas. my kung fu is strong.
10h17: Deleted the naryar the mighty mark. partly b ecause temporal erosion, partly because all my dwarves are registered as moles. I dont like moles. I hate french people and their assumption that taupe is a mole, instead of a color.
we have no metal. i know this because i spent 4 minutes browsing the stock screen andnot finding the bar section. we will dig, and aquire riches, and turn the ugly pyramid into a pithole of misery, depravation and FUCKING STATUES EVERYWHERE.
Hope you guys put brewing and farming on automation cause i aint havint none of it.
10h23:
It has begun. everyone mine the mine. which is both a mine, and also spells its own name. Mineception. we will make DiCaprio statues, out of DiCaprio ores. We don't need 8 traders. get to work lazy bums. everyone will be a miner unless you start doing what i ask. except the vodcoke industry because thats awesome. I alsmot purchsed vodka for this glorious endeavor, just for that, but... fireball man. It taste like cinnamon, and saved me from dying when i hate a very toxic plant on a dare during christmas. i cant turn my back on it now.
10h28: someone decided to become something other than a miner. that wont do.
wait he's a turkey. i guess turkey gobbler is an ok job for a turkey. I mean you could be a turkey miner but i guess thats fiiiine.
my reign shall be remembered as a period of inaction and passive agressiveness toward farm animal.s
Meanwhile cruffy five withdrawns from society. Not sure where he withdraws too. it wont be much fun if he goes toward the demon-hosting part of the fortress.
10h35: that room on fire is still on fire. someone do somethign about it. lord mr tacos, please.
Meanwhile, work on THE MINE starts. we discover opals. OPALS an, just like that show that played when i was young about a genie and his son being trapped in opals somewhere in australia. you know what im talking about. They were genies. trapped in opals.
our opals dont have genies tho. tht was wishful thinking.
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1240048 times)