Just read the rules, and apparently we have to get inebriated BEFORE we play. Down to the local pub I go for something a bit stronger than beer...
For some reason the way they show their familiarity with me at the local pub is to pour me more bourbon than I asked for. So after two near-doubles and a Kokanee later, we begin...
DRINKS: 5
(one drink counting as a 12oz. 5% beer)
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9:10pm
Ok, we're starting on the 5th of Malachite, which is the middle of summer. So i'll go until then next year. This might be a good time to reveal that I'm a semi-noob - never worked with Magma, never fought a forgotten beast. So I'm ready for Fun.
On that note, I've purposely chosen to ignore all posts about this fortress for maximum surprise.
Opening the Golden Ale. Opening the file.
9:30pm
I have a reputation for holding my liquor that I plan on proving wrong tonight. Sorry for the good grammar.
Wait... you fuckers have already tamed Hell? Geez, what is there left to do.
The engineering going on here is beyond me. Since my predecessors have been focused on improving their own livlihoods at the cost of the planet's expense, it's now time to focus on the dwarves themselves. Are they truly happy in Singedcoal?
While this is a brilliantly designed... design from the top, the dwarves don't see it from the top, do they? Poor claustrophobic Catten goes through terrible tremors just thinking of his long, narrow bedroom that he has to go to at night. No wonder he's been getting negative thoughts from sleeping on the cave floor!
Immediately queed up a few hundred tables/thrones/beds/cabinets. The new quarters must be masterwork-only.
Tons more cage traps. Didn't you fools know that Armok loves cage traps?! And by God, if I see you standing around without a job, you're now officially eithert a miner or mason.
Following Bax, the forgotten beast for a while. He doesn't do much. Still kind of scary though.
Births are happening... not a good sign. Going to quit and reload with lower population numbers. Got cocky with my last forterss and ended up at 15fps.
Let me go ahead and give appreciated for the Managed, without whom succession games would be way more of a pain in the ass.
10:00pm
Since you all are better masters of the underworld, I'm going to play with the overworld. Sort of . um
HOLY FUCK. ASK ME HOW MUCH I CARE ABOUT SOME KAOLINITE EARRING.
THe security is a bit lax here for my tastes. About 15 mlilitary swarves... not gonna dop it. More archers I say. Especially with this trhiurvoing steel industry you got going.
BTW listening to Daft Punk during all of this. And the constrsnt 10+ idlers bothers me... when you don't know your dwarves, how can you manage them? It's like being hired as a new boss with employees you've never met before and are all alcohoilcs and have never met you before.
The new miners are doiung well at thier new projects.
It takes a morbid dwarf to make his life's crowning acheivement a coffin... but we still appreciate the effort.
NO. SOTP GIVING BIRTH. I SERIOUSLY TURNED BABIES OFF IN LAZY NEWB PACK WHY ARE YOU HERE.
Construction of new beds is going slowly. My turn is all about buearacracy. You were happy before? too bad, you are now being reassigned to your new government quarters
Golden Ale finished. At 7.5% and 25oz, that now beings me to 8 drinks.
ALL NEARBY TREES MUST BE DEPMOISLIED!@ My predeccsors made som limestone blocks, for who knows why because I'm used to no flux xstone, but they're now becoming paved roads, because we must defeat the overwolred
Queueued up some big serrateds steel discs because those things are AWESOME. Some dwarves suspended consturcition of fortification because they are pansy little bitches
10:30pm
Roads and outdoor fortificatrions are happening. There's a few forgotten bewasts hanging around... just going to cross my fingers and hope they don't get up to much mischief.
The manager has never experienced thids much load of "create an unlimited amoinut of awesome stuff" before
What? You don't know stone detaileing? Whart were you born in a barn?
BTW, this file has all sorts of weird hacked messages that I'm not used to <_<
For fortifications to work, there needs to be a ditch on the outsifde. This is my apology to the dwarves that started to build the ditch on the inside.
Daft Punnk album edned. Putting on FFIV soundtrack. THIS NOW MUWST BRECOME BARON CASTLE.
lol whoops backwards
Recipe: to create the ultimate "i don't give a shit about your safety dwarf:"
one part mining
one part wood cutting
one part masonry
one mart stone sdetailing
mix well and realie you can't do minig and wood cutting at the same time
Just spent some time looking at the undewrworld... my predeccors know what they are doing and are clearly taunting hell. now that i'm in charge upstairs, they're looking up at me with contempt, but there's not much i can do about it
Adding more cage traps downstairs. As long as trhey're imba, why not right? Also, we should start a movemtn to nerf cage traps, because trhey're making traps in genral seems cheap.
11:00pm
The bourbon is overriding the beer, somehow. Listening to a mix of the FFIV and FFVII soundtracks for this. Feel strangely appropriate.
Outdoor security is now top priority, due to Final Fantasy music. This must look like a CASTLE. Plus the archers must make it proud
Also, fuck those lame forgotten beasts that are just chilling underground.. PUSSIES
Just dleted all burrows. Figred that burrows are only worth it if you know exactly what is going on.
Even after deleting them, dwarves still aren't smoothing the floors. IS IT LAZINESS? IS IT?!
Quered up a few dozen weapon and armor rocks, cuz our masons are badas s and deserve a chance to show off
Goiung to dig lots and lots of defenses on the outsidfe...
Can't decide if I love you or ahet ypi fpr putting the river corssing a mile away from the castle entracne. going to go with love you.
Let's go ahead and go nuts on the outdoor defenses.
11:30pm
Them evil cat people be approachin on our defenses
(just finished other beer, driunk total 10:)
Ordered up a bunch of armor and weapon racks, to make the place blingin. my predecessors loved diggin channels, so diggin channels i will do. gonna be a boring winter at this rate.
We built a castle, it burned down, sank into the swamp. Let's try to make this one not sink intro the swamnp.
New appreciation for my predecessors' arrangements to keep us from danger. Lots of good engineering here.
Just realized my predecessors have been ignoring th e needs of the nobles. Communists.
...the outer defenses are coming along against Golbez, but what if something comes that we're not prepared for?
Something is feeling ominous...
12:00am
With the AM comes Zeromus on my playlist. Coincidence?
Epic dwarven araven comeign in. In awe as to the rourougness. Wish
Oregon Trail had that.
After all this ridiculousness, the new quarters are yet to be carved by the miners.
I DON'T WANNA DISCUSS MY SITUATION OK
uh oh...
1:00am
Going to keep it simple and classy for the rst of the night.
Love the way children are so eager to tear down walls.
Too many ghosts. Constructing 300 slabs.
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Next day: Well that was fun, a bit pointless, but still fun.
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1240054 times)