11:31: No response. Begin hostile fort takeover.
11:32: I notice our farm land is lacking. Expand time. Attempts at designating fail, turns out I’m in view mode.
11:36: Loud, funny sounding sneeze. Digging commences.
11:38: Named a dorf after myself. Furnace Operator, Blacksmith, Metalsmith (shit skills in all of them). AnimaRytak, RumGod.
11:40: Screwed up my measurements. Farm plots are 6x6 over 5x5. Oops.
11:43: Made another dorf a miner. Need moar minecraft.
11:44: Rum farts.
11:45: Created a pen/pasture and assigned all the hens and male chickens to it. Moved nest boxes into the new room.
11:45 Realized male chickens are roosters. Doh.
11:49: Ordered an iron pick. Can’t find the workshop.
11:51: I realize the fort seems perfectly logical to me. That is not good at all.
11:52: Removed random table from barracks/dorm. (I made it the barracks).
11:53: Food optimization. Only farmers harvest. Farmers only haul food and do farm work.
11:54: Drunk sigh.
11:55: Ordered military to train.
11:57: Thirty rock blocks completed. What the fuck?
11:58: I feel I am being too logical for this turn. Am I too sober? Lavish meal creation ordered.
12:03: Drunkenly checked an email account I shouldn’t. Damn it. Back to work.
12:06: Fifth drink.
12:11: Hurt finger trying to open a new carton of orange juice. Ended up removing it with a fork. Finger still hurts. My drinks are slowly turning into Caribbean fuckdrivers. (A glass of chilled rum with a splash of OJ)
12:15: Screen shot of new farmland
12:16: It’s only mid spring. Oh fuck.
12:18: Designated a hospital dug out. Migrants arrive. 28 fucking dwarves. I name them all after stormtroopers. For the empire!
12:29: Finished naming dorftroopers.
12:35: Quiet. Sweet sweet quiet.
12:38: Dug out some new rooms. Had ‘em smoothed out. Ordered dining hall engraved.
12:39: Piss break. Made a snow angel on the carpet on the way back.
12:46: G-0405, a dorftrooper, went batshit insane. He must die.
12:48: Elves arrive. Fuck them all. I’m taking their shit and they can’t stop me.
12:54: G-0405 is beaten to death by a bureaucrat. Hermes Conrad eat your heart out. Well, a bureaucrat and an unarmed macedwarf.
1:02: What drink am I on? Um… Sixth, right.
1:11: Holy fuck I am drunk. I just licked my arm. My saliva smells like vomit.
1:13: Two children are born. One to Renofox, the other to some cocksucker.
1:14: Gonna stop pausing the game. It’s still spring and I’m hammered. Also, rumfart.
1:16: DFhack. Digvx. Go!
1:17: Maybe I shouldn’t have done that.
1:18: Piss break.
1:21: While I was pissing, goblin child molesters tried to infiltrate the fortress. My puppy defense force won however. Also I ordered the trade depot deconstructed. Exploiting bugs to abuse elves FTW.
1:24: I’m not blacking out yet, I may be too sober.
1:25: Wow. All the tunnels I digvx’s out are um…. Well if this laptop had the proper mouse drivers I’d show you. But I doesn’t, so I won’t.
1:26: It’s summer? Well then, more migrants; 13 Dwarves. I name them after Norse Gods this time.
1:44: Piss break.
1:49: A baby is born. I name him Lashidang. I know this isn’t Deathgate, but no one will notice one evil, heart eating baby amongst an army of dorftroopers and norse gods.
1:56: I forgot about the elves. Who cares.
1:58: Psuedoveritgo, yay.
1:59: Humans! More shit to steal! Yaaayy!
2:05 I think its autumn time. Wee.
2:12: Holy FUCK everything is numb. Cept my knees. They kinda hurt. Also I finished my fifth drink. Since its after 2 AM, I won’t make another. I mean, I’m not an alcoholic. Despite the overwhelming screams of YES YOU ARE from my friends and family.
2:13: H-5050 is possessed. I order the trade depot taken apart. Screw those humans.
2:20: Had another piss break.
2:30: I noticed the possessed dwarf started working on crap.
2:40 Fuck. No booze for 40 minutes. It’s autumn at least. A Little further.
2:42: More migrants for fucksake. I name them after tanks.
2:51: My toes, they are numb.
2:57: A dwarf had been found, drained of blood. WE HAVE A MO FUCKIN VAMPIRE.
2:59: I’m experience micro-blackouts.
3:03: Piss break. I think I’ll skip this time.
3:06: Skipping might not have been a great idea.
3:13: Caravan arrives. The dwarven kind.
3:14 There’s four corpses in the graveyard. Vampire is hungry. Or something. I dunno.
3:15: Bobnova the Xth trantrumed, then went insane. Baldr kicks his ass with a crossbow long enough to cripple him. He suffocates as Baldr runs away flipping him the bird.
3:23: Winter, woohoo.
3:31: Oh fuck we’re out of booze. It explains the huge amount of tantrums I’ve been seeing. I probably shouldn’t ignore those…
3:55: Hurry up damn turn.
4:00 Bit of a miasma problem going on... oh well, won't be my problem soon~
4:08: Spring! Yay! Salvation from this fort. Admittedly, it ran itself for half a year. But still, I had to watch.
4:14: Here's the save:
YEAH!Drink Total: 6 Drinks. 1 Tiny sample of spiced rum.
Total drinking time? 5 hours.
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1239427 times)