good news, evberyone! I have dicsoverde a machine that makes you read this in my voice
I maen I discovered the grass is red becassue it is just grass that is red, its' snot blood
Now how do I... fukkin'... dorfs.
haven't played in like a month, this game is hard
ho lee sheeeeit. Someone made a... water power thing. I dunno if it does shit, but damn, mechanical egnigeering is hard to do drunk. I dont' think I can aeven spelllit sright now.
whatre the dorfs
AHAHAHA
WATER the dorfs doing?
2 are in a meeting, one is hauling shit (dunno dontcare if its actual shit or just rocks or some shit), and 2 are contrstucting buildigns). wat buildigns? slabs.
ok
coo'
EXCETP THEY BOTH FUCKGN ACNCELLED BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED
it's offical
we hit ghost critcal mass
we cannot budil salbs for ghosts becasue theres too many ghosts
waiiiiiait a tick
one of theo GHOSTs
is MISSIGN
..wtu
wut
wuuuuut
how
i gues he flew throguh wall?
Kaming is nosw depressed
can't say I blaem him... wait.
that soudns familiar
11:31: Kamnin has become depressed.
I am not shocked.
...HOW DEPRESSED IS THIS GUY?!?
the merchants left!
we had merchants...?
I guess that explasin the abandoned donkey at the traed depot
the water buffalo
song, not so much
...fuck. there's that ear-worm again
time to listen to vgeggie tails
...I should really get in the habit of figuring ou
...making note* of when I start my turn.s . I guess I started in Spring sometime? so I'lll tryi to play until the start of the new year.
HAHAHAHAHA GOOD FUCGKING LUCK
theres' a joek in here somewhre?
On noes that bear has stolen my first
kissdate
Kamin is stubmgling ardoung boblivisousl
boboli
obblis
fuckin'
he dont' kowno shit anyemore
dudse got probelms
wev'e got 2 of thwe ghotst s pufigured out tho
i mean put to rest
toady
today we learnde that ghosts stadnign on a udenrwater corpse maeks it look like a nonlwotwaog
non-watlrelogged corspe
the oenly prodctuve dorf is the guy whol lost a arm and a thbum he's makign booz
why dotn' we have any immigarnts?
oh wait
lel
DID YOU KNOW
PLUM WOOD CAN MOSSOVER
and it loosk liek puke
fuck i swaer the dorfs are aware that Im' playign a game with them in it
and thye get embarrassed
(heh, bare assed)
like
oh hey, theres' one idler
I wonder if its' Kamin, the derperressed psycohofuck
open the utni
unit*
scereen
everyoens' pbuys
busy8*
cloes the unti screen
no idlres
WORK ALL THE TIME NOT JUST WHNE I PAY ATTTNETION
IM NOTTTTTA DORF I CATN HANDEL MY DRUKN LIKE YOUUU
*summer*
ONLY?!?
fuck
...was there somethign about not pasuing
fuck
i thikn there was
but
teh game pasuses evbery tiem i examine a utni
or build a thign
or try to take a scrreeenshot of somethign that blinks
so uh...........
lemme go read this rule agen...
452°.f: He who is playing Dwarf Fortress while DRUNK shall not intentionally pause the game at ANY TIME, excluding pauses as REQUIRED by the BUILDING process. He (She) who is guilty of pausing the game for any reason beyond those mandated by the DWARD FORTRESS SOFTWARE shall be found guilty of DELAY OF GAME and fined FIFTEEN (15) YARDS and TWO (2) ALCOHOL UNITS.
fuck dued, ow
i lost track
so I geuss i gotta... walk a lapparound my blokc and chug a vokcdoke?
or like, 18 vodcoeks
which is, like no
so uh...
gimme a minute. I shoudl pause and
HEY WAIT
YOU FUCKR
...FIEN i'll take a lap ardoun the block wileh ur dorf sffufuffff
starves!
theere is a bonoba dorf rite
rite
ok
c u in 15
KAMIN U SO
w8
BONBBOVEA
U SUNBISH do you haefv anee idea how steep my satirs are!??!
staisr*
athtat shits' scary sengoufh sober and i hadda do it drukn
okey mitgratsn
* shoruke chugssa vodgocke
vodcoek*
i lied taht was moreova progongued gaggging motion
also i only got trhoguh halfffa thigenr in atthtat gchucgg
fuck
chugfest
shissssst's strong ,yo
whooooa
so, mitgratsssntssss
ok so
weee need
...ghostbusterfuckers
and nothgin esle
so
yallre massonrs now
BOTH UF U
AND UR KID
AND UR ...SNAEK
AD UR WATER BUFFALO SGON
wait the s is a gote
...i needa drikn
grats motherfruckers we gots 9 dforfs
bet u 5 bucsk the new guise dotn' manage to buildt a signle thing without getttttign sverereely sderpprrredssed
fwow fukc can't dtype
cledearly need more dricksn
OH GOD I JUST HAD THE WOSRT IDEA FOR A REUL GOTTA DO IT
will put it at bottom of post if I rembemr to leavie it at bototom of post
mr.s ritMar has been her for like FIEV MI
um
LIKE 3 MINNITES
and surprisgnly istn' t liek stressed in herr woulnds page or somethin
we seeeem to haev a morale problem
I BLAEM BONBOVAS' TUPID RULE
made me wchug haffa vodocke and pet teh pregnatn kitty, waht a hoser
foudna another grabeyard fulla unused cofffffings
set e'm all to be used for barial
excetp the furitnure stokcpiles left those alone
wodner if they exist for a reason, or just cuz drunks
ANSER: YES
I swaer i just watched a dorf chuck a cat acrsooss the room and the cat is uninnjured
is my cosprse... covreed in the bolloood of another me?
oh wait basis & trades
nvm
is that supposssed to happn
x malesign x
WAAAIT
kamin had haulign diasbled
NO WODNER THE FFDUGBING
FUDCVGINL;
catn' type
KAMING UOY LAZY FUSCK
aaand of courssse he gose to haul thigns to the furniture stockpiel instaed of to teh grabes
kaming
do better
/kamin is oblivous i-ingame
Kaming:
wait how has rimatr been haunted by a dead freidn
none has died sincd e the migtrants, how...
HOYOUW MADE FRIEDNDS WITH A GSOTS
AND THEN BTSTICH ABOUT GETTGINGT HUANTED
fffdsuvg
i dtotn'
i jstusssts
fudgggisn
WHESRES' THAT EMOTE
thatd one distn work
YAAAAAAA FUUUUUCKITAAAAAL
ananimal hazs gwron to become a strawy ewe 9(bowl)
ist gonna make bad moveis lel
Kaming has turend into SRM! that owen guy from botemurderd
also, rimatr is now glorious leadr
and theres' a caravan
ALL AHIL GLORSIOUS LEADRE, WHOSS SHSALL HECNEFROTH BE NKWON AS
uh
YES GOODO PREFECT
go... laedrship the thigns
or watevre the laedr doz
OH YAH TEh caravan will want traed goosd
ok um
can have...
nonmetal...
intsruments... and
AGAIN!?
toaaady bud
youu know
some ofvvus paly this game in a maxsimized window
and the titesl look sdrunkder than I Do
hey, thats's nsever happende to me befoer. conversation and fogetoon beast in the saem frame of the game
now
what tehfug is a theropod
i mean
i know pod is foot
but
fffffffwut?
HOLEEE SHIET
IT SOUDNSLIKAAKE dinosaur andsista actaautl disnosaur
wwwaaaaow
...pink downy feathers? oh god i'mma get raepd by a gay dinosaur
*some time later, Shork updootz the post*
oskay so
dinosraur fucked off
bitches catn haul too depot, too scared, but thats' okay cuz i'mma sleep (and i'm the borkerer too)
and two ghostss aroose to replace the two i put away
and its early autumn
...progress!? well i aint' ded yet, so it's progress
...I FOUDNA BUG
i can sell a bin with tardargasha
tadshegeta
tad...sheget. the artifact
in it
and so i coutn the worth of the artifact twice
cuz the bin haz the artifact in it
and also the artifact counts sperarately
WAAAOW
see look
summone not drunk, repotr this for me
am to2 drukn
IN TEH MEANTIME, ABUOOSIGN THE SYSTEM FOR FUN AND PROFIT
what is this artifaooct anyway
a cat bone puzzlebozx
okay, a) gross and b) HAHAHA SELL THAT SHIT BUGS BUGS BUGS LEL profit
WOW, IT WORKED TOO
I bought their pants, their donkeys, their overpirced-ass bags maed of today the grate, the cheese, the froots, ALL OF IT almost. AND THEY FUKKIN' BOUGHT THAT SHIT BECASUE OF A BOOKEPPEKING ERROR LEL WTF
obtw kammin has been running aroudn babblign.
i think i mentioned that
anyway dood i know losign your left arm suxcks but jeez dood just go all fullmetal alchemist on that shit
it'll be sawesome
...except for the homunculus dog part, ouch dude
I would wonder about how a troglodyte got to the surface, but the caravan dorf got
it them, so it's okay
...feel like maybe I should take a sudden interest in sealign up the caverns, but... eh... ghost-fucking is more important. OH HEY, WE GOT ONE
yeah fuck you, e'zum.
off to dorfallhallaback with you
see its like
dorf and valhalla and... nvm that was dumb
* shoruke hits blunt
if a dorf is sutmbling around obvliously... how does he know to cacnel the job hes' workign on
kamin is running into random rooms and babblign at the empty space
well done on the prograamming, today, that loosk like an actual madman would ldo
OH HEY COOL
someone finally setup that tabel in the dingin room so now we can havea meetign haall
*meetign hall gets swamred by bithc pups*
...uh.
OH HELLO THERE NICE TO MEET YOU AGEN WANNA PLAY DRUNK DSTRIP POEKR OR SOMETHIG
NO
OKAY
BOBNOVA FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR FUCKING FUCK RULE FUCK FUCKING WHAT THE FUCKING CANT TARGET THE FUCKING
OKAY
GOT TI
FUCKING WHERES THE MILTRY
well thast' promisign
do you see how camusmilk is waaay at the bottom right there
i dunno how he did it either, fiik these bridges
also, we're down to 5 dorfs agaen. 3 of the 2 militry dorfs are tryign to kill this fb
SOMEONE ESCXPLIAN HOW SA WATERDPR FORTERSS IS ON FIRE?!?
okay so
5 dorfs
1 is kamin teh crazy fuckderpr
naryar is asleep (onna bridge cuz bedsr for n00bz)
camlik is gettink drunk, i think (ndont' blaem him)
replaismetn kamnin is still figgurin' out this hole militry thign and pickin up ihs gear
and a kid. hes' cleaign his room.
DOIN A GOOD JOB
OH ALSO
fileanme sAYZ IT ALL
SHITSONFIREYO.PNG
welcoem to fucgking drunk fort where the fucking'''...
...uh
uinsret joek here, I'm too drunk
wehre this happens, yeh
HAHAHA WOW
THE FIRE CAZUSED A TREEVALCNHE
sometghin collasped on the surface!
somtheign collpased on the sufrace!
someth colll
u get it
YES OKAY TRHE TREE COLLSPAASED I GETTIT
okay so... 41 was the last collaspe?
we haf 3 dorfs left
1 is bat-kaminshit ccrazy, one is a useless-ass chidl, and the other catn' navigate his way home WHEN HE'S AT HOEM.
am I done yet
is it over
can I stop now
did we at least kill the
NOPE FB IS STILL ALIVE
BUT WE BROKE ONE TOOTHT
HAHAHA
...OKAY THATS' IT IM' GONNA ABA
...migrants?
good lord. that timign. it's a sign, it's gotta be. it's a sing from Amrok abvoe that i must cotniue the mission and recaliam dorf venice. TO AMRS
...alll 3 of u
fuck
OH WAIT, WHAT WAZZAT
THERE WAS 6 not including children
or... 5? fuck i cant count
look go grab ur gear and fuck that dragonsaur up
beware flaming trees, they're collspasing
okay so
to give u sa sense of how this battleis going
kamign, the guy ho was crazy, is ded
the only survoror of his genreations militia got lit on fire
then ded
then child got lit ofn fire. guess wehere he is. (hes' ded)
then the ghosts joined in on the fight
theyre about as helpfsul sas ud thignk
the dogs are hagning out in the kitchen like a buncha fucks
somethign collapsesd on the surface x30 ageain
a bucnhdch of kittesn ohave been missign for a week, and ist onot even becassude i told them to be butchered
STPO THE FUGGINK TREES I GETIT
FUCK YOU TREES
FUCK YOU LAKES
FUCK YOU GROUNDWATER FUCK YOU DORF
HOW I S THERE ONLY STWO DORFS?!?oh adn one is on fire and pale and lost his...
thx obamaxcare
fix that rite up i'm sure
this si the sufrace btw
only dorf left is a chidl
surroudned by dogs
only gronwup is injured too hard to breatheSOMETHIGN FUCKING COLLAPSED ON THE FUCKING I GET IT WTF
wait how is the chidl on fire
why is she in the cavr
CAN WE STOP USING THIS FORT NOW?!?!?!?!