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I am small and neutral, like Switzerland

[Shoruke]

Spoiler: dick burgnings! (click to show/hide)

Firstup! Militaary is sdibanded.
No wait that was second. Firstts is sto tremove all athe designations.
fucking dicks.


Teh noebility, suchsashit is. We needed a new maanga-san to make more picaksxes, so I made me manega-san. And my name goess off the screen, lol. SO baws.

"Butt Shoruke, whye would yaou amke picks out of adamantine?!? Shiurlye ther'es a abteer use for cadny!"
ha ha ha...


GOOD! I dunnoe ewaht it was.


Ugh.
No... I must see this as an opportunity. More things to destroy!
AHAAAAAAAAAHAHAA

too many nobells. to manny kids. too many farmers. made them all minors...


haha ha...
more...
MORE DESTRUCTION!


Ah, yes, of course. The big one. Preid oand joy of... sCruffeyh? was it? would be such a terrible shaeme for eall the edorfs isnterresd inside if something were to... hee hee... happen to it.
I made it a statue garden. For the lulz, you understand.

the construction on the ground is gone... it wasn't even hallowwoed outa ouanderneath. Shoddily done.

say, that giant cockwtower is right over the deopt, isn't tit? Hee hee hee
MOAR CHAOS!

Hee hee... say ”バイバイ”

"Something has collapsed on the surface"
NO FUCKING SHIT, WHAT AWS YOURE FIRST CLUE SHIRLEOCK? The dust? The dead peopel? Teh Shockewave? Or maybe the "fuck the eatrth Joek?"


ooh, that looks messy. Did you know they sell no-bake cheesecake tarts at the 7-11s in Japan?


Hey look, corpses! Tow points each, lol
*drinks/pours a vocdoke*

Wun, two, threeeheheee...
there's moar cospreses than in teh picture ^_^

hmm... that sseems sto have acaused a minor probelm with magmae ocnatiantment.
*ahem*
I'LL JUST PATCH THAT UP WITH A

Oh, good.
Too early, Aromk. Supposed to wait until the end of my turn for that. Note done wageing waer yet.


wonder if fits relatede...


caveins how do tehy awork aamiriethe?


floating coffins. LIteraally on open sapce, I czhecked.
there's a kid hangding off the wall above/betweeen thwme. So I locked the oddor he's hagning from 
fuck you kid. Go rain cosprse on soemone else's parade

oh hey, athe floating point demong thing wfixed istelf. Cool.

wait
ARMOK ACTUALLY HEARD MY PRAYERS
AND UN-FUCKED SOMETHING FOR ME
HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS, PROOF OF GOD
...God is armok? Haha we all so fucked

welp, found god, might as well do his work like the book says! HAHAHAHAHAHA
BURN ALL THE THINGS!


LIKE THIS!
AAAAAAHAHAHAHAAHA

FUCK YOUR PENIS!
except not actually. Mor eliek burn athn fuck


oh look m,ore to burn!

let's see, how to get magema theer...
eh, isn't hard.
....pfffffft. HAHAHA GET IT?!?

oh, that seems to be a masulseoum deDICKtated to me. Oh well, wwburn it anyhooch.
while drunking MOAR FVOCKDOEKS!

OH, THE DEATH TOLL!
down to 113.

hmph. I built a door to dealy death by meagmea awhen iFolled my meausoleum. Soemoen immejitly left 3 socks in it so i tcan't clsoe ist. cshoices, choices...


whOOps, adid Iey do athat?
answer is yes 
yes I did.


beayuooty, isntit?
I accidentantly overrwrote arpevious picture's fielnaem with this one. whoops.png indeed, lol


huuuh?
that door still exists, weehre did tha maegma come from?
Apparently Armok put it there just to trpa kib in his room 

oohf. had someone puncture the volcano. Tehy lived.... long enough to run flamign into the fort....
YAY!!!!


impertenent, even. Tahtth datsardly magma.

one of the craftersdp got possessed
*lightbulb* JUST THOUGHT OF A JOKE
If a Dwarf Gest a fey mood right after the IRS guy dies
DID HE GET REPOSSESD
AHAHAHAA

BURN MORE THINGS!

oh he's making a thing ofut of giant mole-boners and a obsidian block
so, burn that too

Eh, it's been a full season. Might as well put... THAT SECRET THING into motion and end the turn.
hee hee hee


this dick that nar/scruffy/rar erected for me seems to have a condition
might wanna get tht lookecd at heh heh heh


of COURSE his last artifact is a boner spear. ofc.
THAT MAY BE YOUR LAST ACTION, ORMATL, ENJOIY IET WHIEL YOU CAN!

sayyyy, eiHvan't leooked at the caversn this round. Let's see!

Hmm yes
webby

http://dffd.bay12games.com/file.php?id=10766
Here, have a save. The fort is still playable... technically...
heee hee hee...
ha ha ha...
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA

Next turn is gonna be so awesome 
I should turn yself evbil more often, that was so cathartic ^_^
didn't get as drunk as usual but, eh.
have... hee hee. FUN.

[Scruffy]

Shoruke looses a roaring laughter, fell and terrible!
Shoruke has claimed a fortress.
!!DRUNKFORTRESS!! has been struck down!
Shoruke has begun a mysterious construction!
 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ah, yes, of course. The big one. Preid oand joy of... sCruffeyh? was it? would be such a terrible shaeme for eall the edorfs isnterresd inside if something were to... hee hee... happen to it.
I made it a statue garden. For the lulz, you understand.

the construction on the ground is gone... it wasn't even hallowwoed outa ouanderneath. Shoddily done.

say, that giant cockwtower is right over the deopt, isn't tit? Hee hee hee
MOAR CHAOS!

Hee hee... say ”バイバイ”

MNOOOOOOOoo!
  bwaaaah

You heartless monster
There were graves in there. The final resting place of dozens of dorfs.

[Naryar]

So, last turn was Shoruke trying it's hardest to remove all the dicks, yet it had :

-A giant stone penis becoming flaccid

-

Butt Shoruke

-

-A large stone-carved penis ejaculating magma

-

fuck your kid.

-

FUCK YOUR PENIS!

- A boner spear out of all things was made

So i'm not convinced about the removal of the dicks...

However, all this magma pleases me greatly. There definitely is enough to arouse me...  So I retire what I said earlier.

also more seriously, that removal of the giant penis was a dick move. Seriously, Scruffy took so much on himself to erect it.

[Scruffy]

However, all this magma pleases me greatly. There definitely is enough to arouse me... 

..And so Neroaryar played a =Bismuth-bronze trumpet= while watching the fortress burn

also more seriously, that removal of the giant penis was a dick move. Seriously, Scruffy took so much on himself to erect it.

Doesn't really matter. That was an entertaining turn so it was worth it.

Edit: Just checked the save.
It must have taken quite a bit of effort to submerge so many parts of the fort into magma. So many passages, channels and holes to channel the magma into exactly the places it shouldn't end up in. Impressive.
The fort is a lost cause though. The magma is flowing down the main staircase and killing the fps. RIP fps

Oh Shoruke, just one little thing: You channeled magma directly above Scruffeh's sarcophagus but there is one thing you failed to take into account. It is made out of ADAMANTINE! My bones endure! My tomb still stands! The fort will burn but the Scruffeh's corpse is eternal! Mwahaha!
The silver statues are piles of silvery goop though

[Shoruke]

Dude, spoilers. I wanted someone to load that fort up and be all
"Okay so I got the save g- SHORUKE WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?"

[Kamin]

Oh Shoruke, just one little thing: You channeled magma directly above Scruffeh's sarcophagus but there is one thing you failed to take into account. It is made out of ADAMANTINE! My bones endure! My tomb still stands! The fort will burn but the Scruffeh's corpse is eternal!

Scruffy is like diamonds: He is forever.

[Shoruke]

Oh Shoruke, just one little thing: You channeled magma directly above Scruffeh's sarcophagus but there is one thing you failed to take into account. It is made out of ADAMANTINE! My bones endure! My tomb still stands! The fort will burn but the Scruffeh's corpse is eternal!

Scruffy is like diamonds: He is forever.

Actually diamonds eventually decay into graphite... it just takes thousands of years.
More accurately, Scruffy will exist until the end of the world.

[Kamin]

Oh Shoruke, just one little thing: You channeled magma directly above Scruffeh's sarcophagus but there is one thing you failed to take into account. It is made out of ADAMANTINE! My bones endure! My tomb still stands! The fort will burn but the Scruffeh's corpse is eternal!

Scruffy is like diamonds: He is forever.

Actually diamonds eventually decay into graphite... it just takes thousands of years.
More accurately, Scruffy will exist until the end of the world.

Listen Snodgrass, if you wanna rudely ignore my hilarious commercial reference, then FINE. Go ruin other people's phallus-filled days while you're at it, why dontchya?

P.S.- If you keep a diamond at comfortable livable human temps, away from high ion sources, the diamond will last millions to billions of years. The oldest known are like 3.5 billion years old. Might as well be forever.

P.P.S.- Scruffy is my own personal diamond, and he will shine on forever in my heart.

[Chaoseed]

I wonder what the death knell of this fortress sounds like...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

DONNNG...

[Naryar]

P.P.S.- Scruffy is my own personal diamond, and he will shine on forever in my heart.

So after all this talk of penises and hard-ons and flaccidity, you come up with THAT ?

[Camulus]

I want to get drunkish within the next 48 hours.
I hear tell of a magma death,so should I start a new fort or use shoruke's save?

[Shoruke]

I want to get drunkish within the next 48 hours.
I hear tell of a magma death,so should I start a new fort or use shoruke's save?

I vote that you load up my save, witness hell briefly, and THEN start a new fort.
But that's just my opinion, either option is a good option as long as the turn is entertaining 

[Camulus]

I vote that you load up my save, witness hell briefly, and THEN start a new fort.
But that's just my opinion, either option is a good option as long as the turn is entertaining 

I truly do fear for my already non-existent sanity...
Bleeding penii, literal dwarven roasts...perhaps seeing these images will tame my lust for drunkenness.

As for the turn being entertaining, my booze reserves are quite scant, so I may be slightly sober enough to give some regard as to the comic validity of my turn.

But yeah I downloaded yer save prior to this ere talky-talky.

EDIT: Magma everywhere.
Corpsies everywhere.
Penis still spewing fiery death.
FPS death, on my machine at least.
Just seeing a cat slowly making its way down the hall, trekking through the filth...

I simply do not have enough alcohol to be drunk long enough to compete a full year in the Dongfort.
Sadly then, I shall start a new fort, a new bastion for penis-loving drunks who inhabit this realm.

[Kamin]

I simply do not have enough alcohol to be drunk long enough to compete a full year in the Dongfort.
Sadly then, I shall start a new fort, a new bastion for penis-loving drunks who inhabit this realm.

Strike the earth, Brother Camulus! Most people seem to prefer volcano embarks, but do whatever you feel--first overseer is THE Overseer. Also, welcome to the Hell that are the B12 Forums; glad you've found us!

I wonder what the death knell of this fortress sounds like...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

DONNNG...

I see what you did there... 

[Camulus]

Strike the earth, Brother Camulus! Most people seem to prefer volcano embarks, but do whatever you feel--first overseer is THE Overseer. Also, welcome to the Hell that are the B12 Forums; glad you've found us!

Let us commence!
I prefer volcano embarks personally, but methinks some variety may b e in order.

So far: 1 can premium druagt amd 9? shots whiskey, more to come, but will I have enough booze tah become drunk?
There is some cheap wine somewhere in this house iirc.

Before I start, brilliant idea: Upon the relaese of the tavern upodate, The Toad and The Sloth must each take a turn in Drunk FortresS!
Thematically correct, and excellent propaganda.
Also, I wish tah see the creator/s of a game play it while inebraited.


Uselesss jibber-jabber aside, I shall now create a fort!


Scene1: In which Camulus, devourer of lifeforms, creates a DRUNK FOICKIN FROTRESS!!!!!!! (While listening to music)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Let us now bid farewell to this ode to phallic(spellcheckthingythere) symbolism!
Fare thee well, erect dickensian monumet to kidney stones!!!



So now, comrades, let us move to a new locale in which we can drunkemnly arrange code for our own amusement.
Let cumulus entoxicate yer senses by craeting an utopia for huamn beings that dependant on that buzz, on the reconfirmation of reality through inebriation, through the eternel yearning for mind altering subctansec.

Abadnon fortress>
WHY YES!!!!
(i someghow closed foirefox ate this poinyt somewhow)


Well fuck. Moving on!!!!!

Before I actually create ze new fort, MOAR WHISKY!
Aye, ye scottish delight. I love yah!
AAAAAAAAnnnnd more cigggggaaaaaaaareeeeeteesss.
Damn ed be thee, columbus and americo vespucci for intrahducing this lung destroyin evil tah we europeans.
(I live in South Afrcia. No, lions do not walk our streeats ye ignorant steortyping bastardos)
Soooooooooooo,,,,,,,,,,,,,,....................bye for now, need tah get more drunk, tah get moar lung acancer,.. and tah urinate.

Oh yeah *puases musics* Midnight Oil blossoming blood...mediocre imo.

Ahhhhhhhhh after some random internet talkingz....START MUSIC!!!!!!



Sooooooo...lotsa mooontaaaaaaaaainsssssssss aye?
Another spoyt methinkz.


START NOW::::
THIS IS THE BEGGINONG!!!!!!!....:::::::::::::
srsly ne frort ere m8s:

Dwarven cive: The stable cudgels
Let us get some rivers aaaand teerifyin moontain aaand uhhhh treees/
Tah piss off elvees?
Yeahh zobie mountain aaand river for waywert and elves who hates us cayuse trees n stufz.



DETHKLOK(METAPOCALYPSE) Foickin rulez!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Puuuush is giving me problemz, maybe bcause of....yeaaaaaaaaah....trrrrnt n srufff mwahahahahhahahaha.


I have won, code!!!
Img uploade emabrk start n oooow.....this is takong longer thna expected.....I am actualllly drynk.....oh damn theeee gods o f this planet, dionysiuts u2, I will no strat !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! damn my intolerance is weal..........perhaps indina plant(Tobacco) for this??/ MUSICCCCCCCC(Dethklok) is EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!
I do hate caps/

PUASE PISS SMOKE

When dhall I startz??
Damn theeeee human brainz!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah sooo, after I close firefozx for 2nd time, 2ble visonz and pick iup tobacoooo...
I START!!!!!!!!!


Some how I did not assign items or SKills to my fort!!!\
Fuck...so i start now, drunken with a new fort, with no items, no skills. no nothing!
Maybe dongfort might have been 6the better ioption???/

NO!!!
My dwarves are naked, but I shall COnqueerr this eitherwy!

Ok soy PLAY on musics............go nude fort go!

This river is foickin fucking huge!!!!!!!!!
Damn all them fishes!
Vegans...... go away! This be DF, not yer PEta stuff.
Humans must eat tah survivez, humans must...NOOOOOOO
DWRAVES!!!!!!!!!!
I play now.


No picks???
QUIT. No GOOO!!!! How>>
Quit.
 

Yes Again