Download is confusing and I managed to start two at once. I started just hour ago, finished two beers and two bees, I mean cider innstead of beer, but I shall drink epicly more asap. Making new bee right now.
Ebickness! I've been wdoing wrong bees all this time! Into pepsi instead of sprite, but now I found half a bottle of wine so I'll drink that right now. Time is 1:37 AM, now that I remembered it. Iä'll also stop writing AM all the time because 12 hour digital clock is stypid. Found more sprite too, there was 6 liters is hidden.
Why am I pouring wine into bee glass? It tastes badf now.
1:42 Save loaded, starting. Also found dwarf fortress, its own task, surprisilginly. Everything seems too easy though, so I'll drink the remaining 50cl of Omppu wine in one gulp.
Drank half of that, things got pretty weird. High fived a furry(?) and I'll drunk more. Why?
I have been intensely submerged, and havent done anything. What is the fort? Loaded the poop rain again, hawald! The Drunken Brews soins obviously ghthe right, drinking more and loading.
1:52 Q'apla! Saved loaded! Thigs have grown obvioysly! Housin gis sad and we have no magma. I drink more. Seriously the housing is expoilty bad! I wont chance it, I'll dig to magma. There is a confusing amount of ponie sging on on other wscreen, but I shall not mention them.
1st Moonstone, 2:00, Found out some stufvf and did changing mining designations. Better check out the sgocsts; Popiulation 13, three plants to eat. We are going to starve. and the military goy at the front is again a dead one. Apparently I finished the wine, I'll make a bee now, that I also found stuff for. We have the puniest plots ever (lawl..vnm) and they dio notnhing. IO'll do more. From now on wone will rpoduce nothing but plump helmets so well surive forever. Fureromore, a soap maker shall do NOTHING but farming from now on so the plots (so many pony puns) shall never be barren becuse we all die for armoks sake if we dont do something about this!½
2:09 cant find a garbeage depot, lpot stack whatver, Anyway, build one to drag refuse to. Refuse stocpoile! How long has this fort gone without one!?
2:14 still same day I guess, I made a macro to do more begrooms, same as before but theyre the way of the fort now so why now. Iä'm glad I did is successfully, so I'll assve the game now that I have done so much good already. Before even unpasusing once.
2:17 2nd: moonstone, 118. Wo much what? We have no militia? We are whyhy doing anything? In facrt, no one is doing anything; over half the fort is idle at once!
2:25 We have ga guy who does nothing, but is a dsworsdaarf? Pick berries still you know you can do something, then join military. Greetings our military leader!
Our mechaic is razy alrady. 'I can expect this to be for reasons. Where is our dining room?!
5th moonstone, 2:30 What, who is doing anything? I have no darvf therapist so I am a bit low lit job assagnoemnt. Anyone doing ANYTHING? I'll start like this was a first year. Assing EVERY DWARF! Also, I finished apparently a bree, or half and never took a second one?
Seriously,. we have 13 wwarves and no one does anyting? Was this game run by AI? What does "I digress" mean? It would seem fitting for mentioning a donkey doing ... in this sidtuoation.
5th moonstone, 2:38. Wait WHAT?! We are locked in without access to survace? Iä'd better heck the unit list for zombies... None, just some MERCHATS waiting to get in the hikikomori fortress! Someone remove the roof so we can get out?
2:42,
I broke the ponyest firefox tab somnow on the pyny party nightr. I won't go to deeply on it, but today it would be a very special day ato post it, being only two days a eekm that there's a poony party availabye.
} No more of that, traders leaving without me finding out where they aver were.
7th Moonstone, 2:48 Nothing has happened in the fort, but I have been so confuzed by several spects of happevents that it has taken almost... only 18 minutes of playtime? Apparently I am very sane!
Mechainic died of thistrt, I thought is was troublesone till I rememered it was insane.
2:52 most of the dwarves, everyone but MINER construvting rock foffing is idle. This fortress is fo fucked I feel almost good doing everything... in fact, I DO do everything from the start! Exept without having to DO everhgting from start! Yay!
15th Moonstone, 2:57, apparenlty everything is so screwed nothing makes sense. Or so it seems, and this makes it easier t o manage because I shall not mreak anyones plans buactyally having plans! Anyone doing ANYTHING is an improvement!
3:02, 21:st Moonstone 118: I have no idea what just happened, but apparently I finished a nother bee. I confess I watch pnies so I'm not fully here all the time, but I do play and drink, which should be ok? I make another bee and take another cider. I did just make ten more coffins, before noticing we have dozen coffins without being assingled of burial use yet. Anyway, several people should be more pleased now.
I type awesome. when I'm fast. Doing thw hole Quit resload after each save so nothing ever oes wrong ever. I have now saved and restarted twice on two weeks!
22nd moonstone, 3:07 garbage stockpile finished, SO much stuff came out from the fot? Did the dwarves just sleep in the piles of two legged rhino carcasses?
26th Moostone, 3:10: Starvation sets in, the noob swordswarf herbalist kills everything he touches, the newly appointed farmer just smiles like an asshoel. Digging fould warm stone at level 30, half the way to magma esa or so! Weääll have industry soon!
Instat Victory! Magma and stuff! I wont mine adamantine because it rises the fort value beyond what we can handle, ut now we can do anhy stuff with steel and stuff.
3:23: I've drunk too much wine, Iäm confuzed as hell. I shall drink cider to archieve the long resesarched balance of drunkennes and getting stuff done!
Also starting to don some stuff, while drinking cider.
8th Opal, 3:31 I forgot that we found the magma sea! I'll start doing something wiwh it now! Nevermind, I already did. I just had stome traumatic flasbacks but I never blacked out or something. Our worthless peasant has now learned rnough to became a herbalist, so he's now our military commander. Apparently we already ad a squad, which I'm surprisied of. Anyway, Enough guys to beat random wildife now!
14th Opal, 3:37 doing stuff on surface, lots of failuers and some potential progress. Forgot to dringk more, will do so immediately. I still spaced out for sometime, despite doing... I did some usefull stoff for soem time now...
26th Opal, 3:44. Everyone's buisy, Pinkie Pie is making cupcakes from Rainbow Dash, and I feel awesome! I shall dance, as much as I can wile working on the fortress! np. Cupcakes HD
6th Obsidian, 3:50 I'm doing some insane things, which I shall not reveal, and I shall open a new cider now, because drinking sheer bee is too much. I think I drank one right before now, but at least bot cider and bee are run out now.
I encounterd my roommate onthe way to rerridgerater, F key is broken, and he was treating me like a drunkard. Acceptable I guess, but .. well, I guess everhting was acceptable after all. Even .. actually, he never liekd ponies in the first place. Anyway, got cider, got strange looks, and got a piece of wall built.
17th Obsidian, 3:58: Handling a bit unconfortable amount of personal traumas with "Want It Need It" ponyvideo. Well, whatever makes me drink makes me a good player, right? I also built a hospital, because I never found one, and with the sate of the fort I dont believe we coudl ever had have had one in the first place. Making some tables for it next.
4:08 A goblin thief! I am rejoiced to know they're not extinct in this world! My favorite targets: Cute, yet evil enough to be justifiabily murdered!
22nd Obsidian, 4:13: Found some odditioes in the architechture of the supposed outer wall. No wonder nothing worked until I broke the outer wall. I started building stairs in the place of the reamp until I realized it makes no sense whatsoever and decided to conentrate on building an actual wall around the now outdoor trade depot!
4:27 Dorfland Dorfland Uber Awesome... I just converterd a pony fan into trying DF1! Ponies are SO awesome, and getting more DF players in general is the Best Thing Ever!
*hip thrusts and general awesomeness*
5:02 More DF advertisements, I believe the time spent recruiting new players is even better than anything I could have done in the fortress.
23rd Granite, 5:20: Preaching for the awesomeness of DF took some time, and I'll need some more to drink after that. Opened a new cider, made a scaraliny strong bee, and... started drinking some chocolade liquor for variation! This seems like a bad idea, so I'll try to prioritize on the 40% alcohol beer. for now.
2nd Slate, 5:31: This... everyhting ever might be a bad ieda. Seriously, the whole outsisde of the fort, me drining, what Iäm doing... I'll drink more till I stop suspecting...
6th Slate, 5:35: Migrants, I would normally be furstrated but now this is a TRUELHY fresh plate! Some dwarves that i dont have to have previous oversees plans sconflight with!
Macewarf/markdwarf, youäre a macedwarf because marskdwarves can be taught anytime by just killing anything.
Farmer, who's a competent swordswarf, BE a swworddsawarvf and kill everhyting!
Farmer who dabbles at averythign but any weapon skill, Welocme shooter squad general!½ Take a crossbow and kill everything!
Milker, Another Shoota trainee!
A novice miner, already rusty? <I'd like to know what heäs been doing al these easr,. but eat least we need a new miner after something hnappened.
Stonecrafter marksdwarf? Be a Shoota trainee, whoever gets epic first hets to be the squad leader!
Administrator, novice marksdwarf? *I*m the administrator, you'äre a novice shoota trainee!
Adequate carpenter, novice marksdwarf? Shoota Trainee!
A Child? Shoo... What? He's already ina strage mood?
Next ones a milker who fails a t everhting but milking. Heäs tough, so he goes to Crystalline Comp..something melee squad.
Adequate Weaponsmith. We have NO weaponsmiht whatsoever, we NEED this one! You stay a weaponsmith and NEVER come to the surface, EVER! This is all way too linearm, I'll drink the cider asap to get more of the "helileijaa" aspect of drunkenness to the game. I doubt engish has a workd for thiat, but its the result of drinking more beer than hard liquors. It is science, and it has ben made scientifically wveeven outside my outside own observations.
Gem Cutter novice markdswarf? SHoota trainee!
Physical all-around faiilure metalsmith? U,... Just melt metal and dont die in expensive armor...
The fact that I'm now drinking for tortress and ponies are over makes me sad. I'll drink an ES drink to ..naw, last drops of pepsi can do. It is super effective!
Strong planter, to militha, weak planter, plant stuff, macedwarf, go be macedwarf!m
The child claimed a maced... Crawedswarf worpshop.,
Agile Farmer, You can cook for us to improve the already suicidial morale!
Another fishedwarf? F**king Shoota Trainee!
Competent marksdwarf peasant? How can you be a competent marksdwarf if you've never shot anythign, NOR DONE ANYTHING ELSE IN YOUR LIFE?! Shoota trainee, and I think he knew this was coming.
]
ponies are awesome, Rainbow Dash is so awesome her aweosme ess is the only think anyone would think she's too good to be the best pony.
Trapper who is perfect for hand to hand combat squad.
Animali trainer, Obvious SHOOTA trainee! Best candidate this far! My dying wish is that the best of our shoota trainees will ber the actual leader of the shoota boyz!
Fishery worker, more liek fieshery FAILER am I rightr?! Shoota trainee!
Why is wax working a professions? I can ding wasx from my ears and it is just as valuable as thei wax works, which is to say NOT AT ALL. You are a competent macedwarf, go mace something in melee squad.
ASS-tonishingly, the melee squad is full, so I'll have to make the new one. Topsid Abbeupleat! You know nothing but somehting that gave me a reason to put ou in melee squad! You mare more general commander than anything else, so you wont screw up whatever weapon specialists uner your command whatsoever!
WHAT?! We already HAD a militia captain?! Did I command this fortress once, because I remember being fucked by this decisions once? Well iä'm doing it again, THIS GOY is now in command of our second figthing squad! Also, when trouble comes, if not before that, get the shoota boyz in one squad! They'l knkow what to do by then!
Come ON! The migrant wave continues. A skiless peasant macedwarf. Go pickberres until you know what do do with your life outsid ecomat, then to the melee squad!
I thought there were disturbling amount of idlers outside, but they were doing individual combat drills instead. Nice! Now I'll just have to break them into further squad so get any actual training done!
Dastot, who I just renamed "deserves melee sqyad", you now got a melee squad although I dont remember why Half of the Crystalline Compttns. willö be transverred uner your command! Now do somethint, and good luck!
np. Giddy Up - Network Musical Ensemble
10th Slate, 6:30: Someone gave birth, I could't care less, in the sense that I was already giungn it the lest amount of attention pissible.
11th Slate, 6:32: These mineral diggints are starting to take a toll on some personal mineral issues too difficult to discuss. Anyway, they migrant child is demanding rokcs and logs. I can kill logs and dig rocks, but bost of all I'm entirely porepared to kill him whenever necesary.
20th Slate, 6:40: Now this is a problem. A militya commander was interrupted by a Stoat Woamn corpse. This area is fucked up. I remember my predecessor mentioning somieting about part of the area eing evil, but with durr... am I now responsible to defending us against infinite zombie invasions? Walling us in again seems like a goo d idea.
21st Slate, 6:46 The miogrant child vinally started his project. Apparently until now HE JUST COULDN'T GET WOOD! Haha, I'll never let him live that down....
Meanwhile, a stoat woman corpse is terrorizin the dwarves. I dont know if whsjhe actually killed one before, but I absolutely must accept that our militia is laughalble! She is currently fighting an unarmed swordswarf and an unarmed macedwarf.
The militia killed it, but the stoat woman corpse managed to punch a macedwarf, breaking his neck before it was struck down. Welcome to our newfound hospital, where you'll be stayng... FOREVER!
Immediately after that, someone interruptws work because of Monom Vosutairs corpse! NOW it is revealed to me how screwed up we actually are! This is a situation I have literally never sealt successfully.
6:59 The migrant child made an alder toy boat! It is absolute garbage, but at least it has some spikes to teach about the harshness of life.
28:th Slate, 7:02: I don't know when the dead rose, but the dead stoat woman corpse has been staying down for a while now. Good thing, because or planned corpse masher has been proceeding at a glacial pace. At least I got the well done for our hospital, booyah! Suck on this, thirsty dwarves!
10th Felsite, 7:09 Massive save operation of utmost paranoia. Save, quit, load.
14th Felsite, 7:14: I am absolutely messed up. I dont know what ponies or why our fortress has no metal? Is it true that our fortress HAS no metal? If so, I will buy out every dwarf, human and elf caravan of any wearable stuff they have, and crawl behind a wall of traps to wait for safer days.
16th Felsite, 7:24 Elven caravan! Also more intense pony discussions, which may delahy playing further. The dalays shouldnt matter too much because I'll be posting this in one go anyway.
BLARF! I am so full of happiness I feel like throwing up rainbows! Taking more cider to mellow out, although I didn't finish mhy sururpuisse bee either.Ponies aren't really the problem, just that throwing up would stoip playing for the day.
24th Felsite, 7:39 Oh, I just realized the elven merchants arrived. More seriously, our militia captain noticed a kobold thief right next to him. Following that, the thief scratched his right leg and run away without any repercussions. That is just pathetic, for both parties involved.
My Armok, dwarvoes suckk at teaching each other! When someone's dabbling, you would learn more by flailing at air than listening to him!
7th Hematite, 8:02: The first time our militia does something to prevent the omnipreseent kobold threat! A huner (a shoota trainer noteven in the military) managed to shatter someone's nail! YOU ARE A LAUHGINGSTOCK!
Oh, and I remembered AGAIN that the elven merchants were actualy on our depot! I'll try to get something there to buy any kind of armors before they leave.
Realizing how neglected everyting hiere is, I "generoulsy" stetp in the place of Manager, Broker, Bookkeeper, AND the Chief Medical Dwarf! Prepare your internal organs!
25th Hematite, 8:25: Elves left, and we couldn't offer them anything but our middle fingers. At least they would have had wooden gear, but I hope the humans bring leather to make something to make something from. Or metal items to melt into useful items on our own.
2nd Malachite, 8:30: I just realized why every metal worker ever is unemployed. We HAVE no metals whatsoever!
Now i find myself sururuisingly alone. I am ..nevermind. One of the decisions I made was to reduce the mentioing pof ponies, so I will not go into deltals of now.
Dorfwise, we now have 41 dwarves! The militia is as screwed as ever, but at least its screwed in a waty someone with dwar f rapeist can instantly collect them together. And they produce meat as a side product, as far as they have enough chrossbows. Speaking of which, I doubt anyone sexectd this embark to have nometals, so Iäll make more wood crossbows and wood bolts at an emergerncy rate.
4th Malachite, Iäm making a new bee, and taking forth a new cier. I'll drink it as necessary by dictated by the ovedrinkage of sheer bee.
My Armok, I just realized I'm not the only one who drinks for the sole poruse of playing drukn fortress. That is a RELIEF, becauase I thought drinking outside prime ponyur anything primetime was strante. I have a DUTY for drunkentrials, and I will follow through with all my heart and liver! I just realized this embark is TINY, so I'm not just insane when >I think the one squad has now killed everythint from edge to edge of the map.
9th Malachite, 8:58: We have no weapons whatsoever, so I'äm making some training weapons so our militia wong trty just groping each other. Other than that, the previous whatever hours have been filled with activities nonproductive for anhiting-
I am suffucientluy drunk. There Pretty ovbiously was a night creature, which ran away before I could do anythintg to even screencap ist. For the rest of sometime, I've been drinking nothing but bee, and now I opened the cider I brought here sometime ago.
27.th malachite, 9:10: I have no idea how things got this way, but right now the... rurprise project, which I doublt is getting finished before I pass out, is the MOST successful projet of the fot. The STATISTICS looks good, no ones thirsty or starving, I just have no idea whats going wrong. Does my militia just need more arms to train fighting, and more clothes to keep the assaults non explicit?
28th Malachite, 9:14: A cook withdrew from society. The cook is standing in the middle of furniture stockpile, indicating that there is NO place he's planning to go to. Considering the fort, it could be anything from soap workshop to magma forge. My Armok, we have NOTHING here!
I thought I found a forgotten dining room, but it was the hospital I just built some hours ago.
This current feeling; To quote the Liberal Crime Squad, "Translucent pipes are penetrating my body, its like making love to the future!" I came back on the same incame day, although a lot haws changed. All is more awesome than before, victory is archieved in synctube as well and ingame,
I was about to say "ingame nothing is woing wrong wotth berserking over", burt we currently have 32 idle dwarves. WHAT THE FLYING FEATHER?! What the where is.. GHAAH!!
Seriously, didn't I just assignn awhole migrant wave to militia? Oh, apparently I did, assing them to huting that is. Anything entering the forts general area is instantly killed, so I guess i''l HAVE to make the marksdwarves practive something else too.
21st Galena, 9:40: The thing I just understood may be madnless to others, but when they see it, theyäll see I have won them all at life itself!
2nd Limestone, 9:46AM, the sheer wtfness of life itself has been confusing me for a while. Furthermore, the moody guy from thousands of characters ago is still there, waiting for a workshop, which actually made me build a non-magma forge at one point. General life with the myth of "free will" popped up again, along with whether life ans intrisic value. Just a regular friday evening, drinking more cider now.
4th Limestone, 9:51 Another kobold thief, but this time we FUCKED IT OVER! Our melee dwarves still have no weapons nor armor, but when the thief got too wounded to run away, the macedwarf clubbed him to death with his bare hands! The pun would have been epic if he had any musical skills.
The insane madnless of total lunacy I had planned collaplsed on my lack of skills. Going for the second most lunatic solution, I hope my ideas still get transferred to future opulations.
Another thief, this one even more brutally dead than the previos! But seriouslyk, unless we get metal, we need lots and lots of crowsssows and bolts. Like, for every single citizen.
22nd limestone, 10:12: A herd of zombie muxskoxen!
6th Sandstone, 10:21: Zombie muskoxens all around the fort. I stopped all woodcutting because someone already got killed by them, and now I FONLDY WISH for all dwarves to stay indoors until the undead menace fostly passes... I mean peaefully passes. on.
MOST remarkably, it seems that a single silver bolt puts them down for good. This shouldn't yet happen, devog-wise, but if it works I'm ok with it.
Well, there's absolutely no way of keeepign dwarves from deaths way, so we set out the militia. They killed the UNDEAD MUSKOZEDN! (My favorite overground animal in the game) with their bare hands, after thety had killed three dwarves. And they killed them only because they werent in a squad and therefore didn't fight back. (My favorite real world animal is the red fox. In latin Vulpes vulpes, aka The Foxest Of All Foxes. I love them in every sense the word love can be used! They're perfect by their very concept! Oh Armok, if I ever meet foxmen I will rather kill my fort than harm them!)
It seems the dwares lost another swordswarf fighting the zombies. The wrestler ( as they all readylly are) Wrex got his ear broken, and came to the scene of the battle two days late. Considering the dwarf intellect, I applaud him for leaving when he saw everyone there was already dead.
16th Sandstone, 10:39 Migrants! Pretty physically fit, but with doubtuf hearrt Iä'll name them shoota trainees. Not bvecuase they couldnt handle melee combat, but bvecause we have nothing but wood and bones to make weapons frfom.
So many so skilled marksdwarves, so few things to shoot at. I named a relatively sane migrant marksdwarf the Shoota Boss, to command the shoota boyz as they gain enough skills to actually be4 drawted.
I accidentally a military squad called Mortal Portals. I whill GLADLY leave this to someone with tdwarf rapist,k because each assignment would bean a facepalm for each dwarf.
Oh, I just remembered the guy waiging for some workshop to be built! He's dead now, somewhere.Nexzt time someone is guaranteed to fail a mood Iäll name him accordingly so his name will stick even after his death.
3rd Timber, 10:57: My insane project is going slower than expected, because apparently the euclidean physics have failed. I'm saving and restarting, just in case I broke the three dimensional physics with it.
In factg they guy I mentioned is crazy, starving and dying of thirrst. Nothing he didn't have coming when doing...whatever he did.
16th Timber, 11:13: A cook died of thirst, no idea how, where, or how its possible. At least its ont an vamipre.
Discussed with the liason. Requsted for all the steel, and items that could ber molten for steel later.
23rd Timber, 11:20: This is bad... A Shoota Trainee threw a tantrum. He calmed down right away, but when guys with weapons start to be on the edge, its just a question of time when theyr'e going to flip finally.
I relieved all military off duty so they can do whatever makes them less crazy. I doubt killing a zombie porcupine is what they want, but at least I'm gland they did it without comlaining.
25th Timber, 11:25 A gem cutter has been posessed! He took over the jewerlers workshop, and is now working on a single rought smoku quartsz.
1st moostnone 11:27: He made aring! Acceptable, for taking a single gem for ingredioents. Still among the lamest artifgacts in all the universes.
My ultimate project is done! May it be known for future for it actually depleted all the stone in the fortress! Just how small is this fortt exactly?!
I collapsed the last supports, killing a craftsdwarf and maiming a caravan guard, which reminded me that the caravan is here! Quickly, haul stuff before I forget to trade! Seriously, the more I drink the more I undestrand the dwarves.
10th moonstone, 11:37: I'm getting sleepy! Also, a woodcutter is throwing a tantryn, potentially mure dangerous than the shoota trainees.I wonder if a sheriff would help things, or just make things worse. In any case, for long case wed have to make something to keep life here acceptebla. I have no idea what to do, esept build more statues and hatch covers. In fact, that shoounds like a great idea!
How do I built memorial slab? I have one carved for the cghost moaning at front gante, but I dont know how to place it. Anyway, I guess I have played through a year now, so I'll save the game for next player.
On good news, we killed a giant opossum! Or at least it is dying, what with several pages of non-stop vomiting going on. I built a wall around the entrance, and a lever next to dining roofor rising the drawbridge, so at least the fort is as safe as could be expected from me. There's also a epic statue of awesomeness and all things good ever on the courtyard, which I wont spoil for now.,
Og, won more thing! TRADING!
Good to know were trading with dwarves, meaning we can trade anyting, for STEEL! I'm glad the caravean godt here, because we have 8983dorfbucks worth of no quality crap to sell.
13th Moonstone, 11:56 Q'apla! A succesfull trade! In factr, its the only scussesfful tade from a year of play,. Anyway, we got a bronze warhammer, a short sword, hood and some other minor crap.
Now, the fortress is 53 dwarves strong, we have nine drinks and plenty of plants. Bobnova's memorial is done, if you can place it. Militia is largy but unequipped, so good luck with anything from now on!
Save is here, and it did save it in the end:
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=7368
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Topic: !!DRUNK FORTRESS!! [We Hath Become Death, the Destroyers of Worlds] (Read 1240289 times)