You know, it would be easier to tell how the "mispronunciations" sound if you were to use the International Phonetic Alphabet. English is just too dialectally fragmented for anyone to effectively transcribe their pronunciation without it.
[jʌ nou ɪt wʊd bi 'i.zi.jɚ tə tɛɫ hau ðə ˌmɪs.pɹən.ʌn.si.'je.ʃunz saund ɪf ju wər tə juz ði ˌɪn.tɚ.'næ.ʃən.əɫ fɐn.'ɛt.ɪk 'æɫ.fɐ.bɛt]
['ɪŋ.glɪʃ ɪz dʒʌst tu daɪ.jə.'lɛk.tɫ̩.i fɹæg.'mɛn.təd fɔ˞ 'ɛn.i.wɐn tu ɛf.'ek.tɪv.ly tɹæn.'skɹaɪb ðɛɝ pɹən.ˌʌn.si.'je.ʃun wɪθaut ɪt]
Except nobody knows how to read that shit. I'm pretty sure your last paragraph there is the first one in said IPA, but it could just as easily be Greek.
It is in fact my first paragraph as written in my dialect, using IPA. If you follow the link, the page has audio which tells you pretty close to what each of those symbols mean.
If you have any knowledge of Welsh, that "Ll" (double-L) is the "L" version of the above "K" one. But Welsh also have "Ch", not too dissimilar from that of the various Celtic linguistic relations. (And both of these, and some other digraphs like "ng"[1] and "dd"[2] and "ff"[3], technically being single characters in their own right within the Welsh dictionary.)
These are called fricatives, by the way. English has labiodental[1] /f/ and /v/, dental[2] /θ/ and /ð/ (
thin and
this), alveolar[3] /s/ and /z/, post-alveolar[4] /ʃ/ and /ʒ/ (
shop and plea
sure), and glottal[5] /h/.
Scottish and German <ch> are velar[6] /x/, and welsh <ll> is alveolar lateral[7] /ɬ/.
[1] articulated with the lower lip and the upper teeth
[2] articulated with the tongue against the upper teeth
[3] articulated with the tongue against or close to the
superior alveolar ridge[4] articulated with the tongue near or touching the back of the alveolar ridge
[5] articulated with the
glottis[6] articulated with the back part of the tongue against the
velum[7] an alveolar consonant whose airstream proceeds along the sides of the tongue, but is blocked by the tongue from going through the middle of the mouth