Not /b/ that attacked me in the past, but an equally vicious site (which I later discovered the dark side of while I was a member of it) seemed to want an innocent target to harass, and drive towards suicide. In fact, a special board was designed with such things in mind. I already knew of the dangers that would come with being online and whatnot, and I did what I could to protect myself (cleaning up an old myspace profile, and etc.), unfortunately, I was an appealing target to assault (been this case my entire life, I still don't know what makes me such a damn appealing target, but that's just the way my life rolls).
In a sense, I felt that something along those lines was about to come my way, and fortunately, I heeded my instincts and battened down the hatches, and hammed a few things up to comedic levels (with enough to seem like I was being serious in order to properly bait them), and within a month after I prepared myself, the shitstorm made it's way towards me, and took everything about my account, real name, family, phone #, email accounts, and etc. (Better than the NSA would ever collect) and decided to weaponize them against me in order to drive an innocent into turmoil, and then willful death. Fortunately, they did not know I had a lifetime of bullcrap like this, and I developed several means of protecting myself, or at least, the honor of my family.
What helped me cope with the initial attack, as well as a way of reading how they strike so I could counter them was experience, and a thicker skin, and the drive to care less about myself personally (since I don't have a life, and I can spare throwing myself under the bus), and protect the far more innocent that do have lives (siblings, relatives, next generations). After I got hit with the initial strikes, I then asked, not begged, why they were attacking me (and also collected info on how they were striking by letting them attack me, so I could properly counter-attack them), and fortunately they explained with their BS "reasons" (mostly about my social awkwardness, and my questionable social appearance and the fact that I am a pathetic artist claiming to be good (what they struck was actually a scrap work rush job that didn't have any passion put into it; as well as the background of my ideas (to which I hit them with the MST3k mantra of "If you wonder how it works, just remind yourself this is fiction and you really must relax" (to paraphrase)), and I took it pretty well (at least I was informed, and the higher-ranking attackers pulled away, and discouraged further attacks) and considered what to fix in myself; however, the attacks didn't stop; in a twist of events, I discovered an Achillie's heel in their thought patterns: many of them were young bullies, and wanted to watch me suffer for absolutely no other reason than "for the evulz".
I knew how to fight back; I led them on by acting offended and standing my ground in rather pathetic ways, including walls and walls of text to answer/fight back in a shotgun format; and was even calling them out on their complaints about them (I was nearly obvious that I'm screwing with them; because I was weak and pathetic in the first half hour, then I had brass balls for the next 2 and a half hours to tear down the rest of them); but they persisted, fishing more information I was feeding them to misdirect them big time, eventually making me, as a human being, look all kinds of pathetic to the point of being a real-life parody of an American otaku furry and all that. I was just feeding them concentrations of bullshit that makes it damn obvious I was screwing with them, and they bought each and every bit of it, that is, until one of their more experienced attackers noticed that I took one of the chains of my past they were whipping me with, and was using it as a leash on them (I figured they knew who to ban for their want to destroy a life just to destroy a life, and nothing more; one even wanted to spam my phone lines, and 3 other experienced ones talked them out of it, which was surprise personally when I read that). So then they had to ask "Are you truly as absolutely pathetic as we've been beating you up about; or are you one seriously complicated, elaborate troll?", my response? "You got me, I've been trolling you numbnuts since the beginning.", or words to that effect and attitude. Within the last 15 minutes, the thread finally died. I killed an assault in 3 hours with nothing but my wits, and facing my worst inner-demon.
I ended up derailing it so hard, that all the evidence collected against me (fact or fiction) is rendered completely useless, and false to them (however, it doesn't stop the everyman that looks up my info to buy into it just by the little info Google and the first pages provide), all the newbie trolls and bullies have been exposed, the experienced learned that there are smart "victims" like myself that act as lures to counter-bully, and that their routines are predictable beyond reason. Unfortunately, despite everything that was done, and my apparent victory, I had to "commit suicide" to every account under that name/title, without announcement to anybody (especially the attackers), and wanted to make it clear to them that I bred a fake identity that they and others like them would fall for for years, and it potentially wasn't my only one, and I 'got bored' of them and left (even getting rid of my account on their site, I requested a perma-ban myself and made sure it stated that it was by my will, and that I was done playing with them). I had the time to develop ways of screwing with them, to look like them, act like them, and target them; and my sudden disappearance would only mean that I was ready to hunt them down and deal with them 'personally'; or that I finally got over with my life, cut my losses, and moved on. I wanted to drive home to them that if I was fake (which they were convinced), they were outsmarted by someone who wanted a challenge, and if I was real, I am actively seeking them to ruin their lives in return as retribution, or that I moved on and is also a silent thanks for the free therapy. In truth, I'm not doing anything anymore, and I just cut my losses, and vowed myself from ever taking up a social networking profile ever again or even alluding to anything that could lead to looking up anything that'll lead to the attack, in fear of them buying into the lies of the attack (more for my family and friends' sake than my own; since I did throw myself under a bus, and lived to tell the tale), and not reading far enough to learn I took control of it by the end, and make use of my experience to teach kids and adults mental and spiritual self-defense.
Speaking of which, that was something else that also exposed them for the types they were. Only a child on the internet would curse like a sailor as their primary method of attack, and call you a "fag" and whatnot, and only those and repeating old statements a smarter attacker made, and even trying to make them memetic in nature (essentially forcing them into memes); whereas someone more mature would take their time, and use psychology as a weapon, and not backhanded insults and attacks so repetitive, that the victim of the attack actually gets bored of them (I'm not kidding, they repeated the same attacks/insults so many times, I even responded along the lines of "Haha, funny, I did something stupid. I am pathetic, LOL. Can we move on now? We have more important things to go through." and then "It was funny the last 15 times you brought that up. Come up with better material; its no longer funny." until eventually "You know what, this is boring; I'm just going to ignore you idiots from now on until you come up with better insults. BTW, I don't think a victim (myself) is supposed to get bored when you torture them.". I think I deconstructed their attacks so much to the point of changing the perspective of the board in the intent or ages of the attackers. But I was too busy to notice.
Also, if I recall the incident well enough, when they ran out of insults to hit me with, they went after my family and friends, and I kept on trying to redirect their attacks back at me by feeding them more information that would make me more of a target, and even reminding them that I was who they wanted, not them. I think the fact that I was willing to sacrifice myself to these monsters to protect the livelihoods of my family and friends what what moved the senior staff to interfere with the attack and discipline the ones who just wanted to ruin a life to the point of forcing someone to commit suicide; if not me, then someone I know. You can say with how I responded to near-every attack from the newbies and young, I essentially caught their wrist during a sucker-punch, and guided their face into my elbow moving in full force using their weight against them, and clotheslining them. Yes, they got owned by "the most pathetic man in the world"; numerous times. Probably why the admins locked the thread before they tried to revive it to focus on torture attacks, despite not getting the message that they lost to their victim, and are only making themselves look worse.
In hindsight, I don't think I needed to destroy everything, I just had to move on, as if I won, and keep showing them they lost by remaining in their presence, despite the vicious beating I was given. And just fix things in a way that shows my truer colors better. After all, since the attack, I was hit with friend requests by some of my attackers, and in other boards, some of the more experienced attackers and frequent viewers of such material even stated that the entire attack, while they usually are funny as hell, was not funny at all, and was a total revelation as to the nature of the attackers; some of the more experienced attackers were making sure I was factual about leading them on, was actually trolling them, and etc.. I proved my trolling to be fact, and they laid off; but to avoid suspicion and whatnot, I had to change my online identity so I can continue being myself without as much worry; as long as I don't repeat history, and take a bit more responsibility than previously. However, if I ever get discovered, I stand by my word that I am not the same person that was attacked anymore, and that I was never as bad I made everyone think myself to be. Sure I had rough patches, but what human doesn't? To err, is to be human, after all. The attack, even if everything was legit, did succeed in making me tougher than usual that not even the worst insult to fly my way would ever pierce my spirit, and that I know where my will lies. Dare mess with my family or friends, and you've got Hell to pay. I don't care what happens to me, but mess with those who don't deserve it, and I won't stop until whatever's in range is pulverized into an atomic level.
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Topic: Mixed emotions about the internet (Read 12208 times)