Last night dreamed I was living in a house with like 8 roommates. Me and a couple others went on a mining expedition to some tropical island and collected some rare mineral samples, meanwhile the rest of the house hired a neighbor to watch the animals (wtf?), I went to pay him, $20 a day for four days, he gave me a hundred and asked for 180 in twenties. I break out our counterfeit bills our roommate makes. They're all still in the 8.5"x11" paper he uses, and instead of $20 notes theyre like pictures of sci-fi ships and shit. And many of them didnt even print clearly. I give the dude a couple sheets because fuck it, I need to go sort this idiot out before we get caught. He's actually my stoner coworker IRL and has been printing "counterfeit" bills while high as a kite, no surprise. I ask himwtf he thinks he's doing, he shows me a sheet of apparently perfect $10 bills. Except there's nothing on the back, it's blank paper. He points out it's actually just really faint, he's trying to make them look more authentic and worn-out by making some of them more faded than others. But only on one side, obviously, and some of them are printed in different colors, because he's a fucking idiot. I look at my wallet. My real notes look real. My stash of counterfeit notes look like monopoly money. I tell him the best way to make them look used is to let them get the shit beat out of them in your wallet, then you can claim you got them from a gas station. Deep down I know we will get caught for this shit. I keep thinking of that time a customer tried to pass off a counterfeit $100 bill to my coworker when I was working at the smoke shop. It was so obviously fake, had blank white paper around the edges and was crispy and brand new.
Anyway, while he's fighting with our tiny roommate who is in the industrial oven she fits inside of because she's like 4'5", who is rearranging it to bake cornbread when he wants to bake more bills, I have to help the kid in the backyard who has pissed off the dog. His cousin has also dressed him up like a pinata by glueing multicolored leaves to him because it's fall suddenly, even though it was july ten minutes ago.
My dreams have been acid trips lately send help.