Huh I finally confronted two current sources of grief in this one. It's 3:40AM but feels like 4:40 due to time change, and I don't know if I can get back to sleep anyway. I know she'll wake up at 5AM anyway due to said time change, and ignore her clock. For context: an uncle I wasn't particularly close to passed away a few days ago, and I'm currently spending nights (like tonight) with my nearly-deaf gma who's confusing dreams for reality.
Before going to bed I found out she had a dream about me sneaking into her room, with my mom/her daughter in law (they haven't spoken in a decade) and mom and I said mean things about her. I've tried to be patient and comforting about her nightmares, we keep the blinds closed so the people with ladders can't get to her 5th story window (blocked by tree branches) open it (only openable from inside) and rearrange her furniture.
Sorry, that's just... where she's at, and it's a dream so it counts. She's surprisingly chill about it, she just insists that it's real. And that I snuck a girlfriend over the other night, ha. And then on a night I wasn't there, I brought my mom I guess. "Why would I bring my mother here, gma?" To meet her neighbors, apparently. It's dream logic. She can barely hear a word we say to her directly, yet/so she manages to hear all these fantastical things - always from her bedroom at night.
It's extra scary since I've had such vivid dreams, which sometimes feel extremely real. Even when I notice the illogic and lucid dream. But anyway, the dream *I* just had...
My dream started based on our family reunions, and focused on my uncle's son who I knew a bit better than my uncle. We always had a picnic lunch out in the hilly country where they lived, and that's how this was. Very pleasant memories. There were some bits about certain classic video game consoles - big boxes of old carts and 3 1/4" floppies, a restored pinball machine. A little muddled but mostly accurate remembrance.
My gma (other side of my family but shh) was there with a plate of food, looking and acting like she did 15 years ago. She smiled comfortingly and said she still had good days. As if I, a naive overly-honest child, was acting worried about her approaching old age.
But then she was in her present state, and she had just *repeated* those same words, trying to comfort current-me.
My cousin was there in his grown state, back from the Army. We're not very close anymore, but he let me hug him and just... sob for a while... I hadn't really done that yet. I took my time, and also recounted a timeline of where I'd lived (which included two significant stretches of living with gma and her husband). It's also just kind of a fucked up timeline so I guess I cried about that, too. Also regret for not being closer to my cousin and his father.
We walked down a river together.
Later he and I were playing orks in Fallout 4 and got chased around a vaguely familiar post-apoc house by a lumbering boss ork, who kept tearing the place apart. no not super-mutants, that would make sense.
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Topic: The Dream Thread (Read 609288 times)