Just woke up from a dream so hilariously strange that, instead of going back to sleep as quickly as possible (it's 3AM and I need to be up at around 6 or so), I'm going to sit here and type out what I remember first.
The first part I remember is, perhaps unsurprisingly, being back in the sharehouse that I just moved out of.
Lots of videogames were being played and what-not, all fairly standard really as far as I can remember. What was unusual was that, when I entered the loungeroom where videogames are played, the newest housemate (whom I despise for various reasons that I shan't bother listing here) was sitting on a couch along with my other housemates.
Normally he avoided us all entirely for the most part and kept to himself, but it turned out that he'd just unburdened himself of a secret.
He came out to my housemates and I as 'trans-American Indian*', which was supposedly why he'd been so shy and quiet previously. He also mentioned that he used chunks of cooked meat as a way of fighting body odour**, which...
probably was why he always smelled so fucking awful.
The guy said a few other bizarre things that I don't remember despite at least some of them involving videogames.
Next part I remember, I was playing an online FPS which in my dream was supposedly Battlefield, despite seeming rather more fast-paced, like CoD or something.
Also I didn't suck at it, so it could hardly be Battlefield. Everything was rather strange, but I was completely slaughtering the enemy team in some kind of domination match.
I charged into one objective that they were shown as capturing, didn't see any foes at first, then managed to guess their hiding spot correctly and kill the one or two attacker(s). Then I ran about the objective defending for a while, pretty much just bursting out of cover and destroying any enemies who showed up, often in groups- I was on my own.
After a while of this absolute slaughter, however, I was lying prone atop some kind of old train carriage (maybe?) when I saw a new enemy ran in and start capturing. As far as I can remember, the earlier enemies looked more-or-less like your typical, bland soldier chaps from various editions of Battlefield (possibly Hardline), with black riot helmet-looking things, balaclavas, blue jumpsuits under body armour, scowls and various unused tactical gear, but this newcomer appeared to be... a dog?
Yes, upon closer inspection (I crawled to the edge of the object I was on and peered over, to look right down at the central point of the objective) it was indeed a rather adorable dog, happily waggling its tail and panting whilst capturing the point, not appearing to be armed or at all worried by my presence.
Very cute! ...Then I noticed one oddity about the dogs appearance (apart from the fact that it was in the game in the first place): it had a human face, a rather disturbing-looking human face staring out from its head in a way that was
creepy as fuck. It looked like it had been shopped onto there, nicely blended but with a somewhat different colour from the rest of the head.
Naturally, I decided not to shoot it, and even decided on the spot to try and join whatever team/clan it was involved with, seeing as it was simultaneously cute, unusual and hilarious. Fortunately for dream-me's KD ratio no enemies seemed to come along whilst I was preoccupied.
In this weird dream-game, it was easily possible to see a sort-of profile of various players, not quite the same as the one you see on PSN, more like some sort of custom profile (Sorry if that didn't make much sense, I need to finish here and sleep). Almost like a Youtube page.
Anyway, this dog's display picture showed an original version of the face (I believe it may have been a black-and-white drawing, rather than a photo) amid a mind-bending mess of psychedelic colours. The user page was similarly adorned with trippy colours from what I remember, and it had a slogan, something along the lines of "LSD, Sean's face and [Not sure? Possibly Domination, the game mode, but that doesn't seem right- maybe it was Dog?]", and according to the description the basic idea was that some guy/guys would play games whilst tripping balls, to the apparent amusement of everyone involved, and possibly show the whole mess on Youtube although I don't remember for sure.
No idea how they managed to get their friend Sean's face onto an entirely-inappropriate dog model and into an online FPS, but hey.
That seems like the sort of thing that ought to be possible.
After that, the dream veered off on a tangent about some sort of comic strip/animation, that I think may have been hosted on the same Youtube channels as the LSDog escapades, or shared there at least. The only thing I remember was that it (in some strips/episodes at least) centred on this plainly-drawn old man who made often bizarre, to-the-numbers rants against various topics.
The rants/pages/episodes followed a similar formula each time, I think, and I saw this page showing several different strips above one-another, all looking amusingly near-identical apart from the dialogue- which followed the same formula, but in/on wildly different situations/topics. Not sure if that was someone criticising the webcomic/animation or if it was content from the creators, since it really just made the whole thing funnier.
Somewhere around then I woke up, needing to pee.
There was more to the dream earlier on. All I really remember was playing videogames, including Uncharted 4.
One of my housemates had hijacked the TV and console shortly before where this post begins, not sure where I'd wandered off to.
*It was never made entirely clear whether this mean he had transitioned from Australian into a Native American, from Indian to American, vice versa, or from a naturalised US Indian into an Australian. Whatever the case it was quite bizarre and I don't think any of us bothered questioning further.
**He actually revealed this part after admitting that he knew how smelly he got sometimes, and offering the explanation of it happening when he came back from visiting family. Apparently he thought the smell of rank meat was a pleasant replacement for his normal, post-journey BO. ...Then again, with how bad that guy smelled IRL, it probably would be.