I was walking from somewhere1, and for whatever reason I had neglected to put my pants on beforehand, deciding that dressing myself whilst walking down the street was a perfectly reasonable idea. So I'm striding happily down the street, struggling into my clothes, when I hear raucous laughter.
Across the road there was some sort of drinking and/or eating establishment, and its unkind patrons were laughing themselves sick at the sight of me. I was rather miffed by that reaction, I mean, what, hadn't they ever seen some busy person getting dressed on the go before? But certain shouted remarks led me to realize that my unconventional wardrobe techniques were not the sole reason for their mirth: I looked down and realized my wang was hanging out of my underpants2.
Now this, this was bad. I quickly tucked it away and, thinking on my feet, began acting very drunk so as to excuse such behaviour. I'm honestly more surprised I wasn't, in fact, drunk. Maybe I was. Who knows. I don't remember what went on earlier in the dream.
Anyway, the laughter continued unabated, I realised I hadn't quite hidden it all successfully and struggled to correct the issue, and at some point I met my brother on the street, who was less than impressed by my antics. I think he may have pretended not to know me. A sensible reaction.
Eventually I crossed the road, and passed some sort of bar or party. I don't think it was the one I'd seen earlier, but perhaps it was.
There I encountered a dazzlingly beautiful reasonably attractive young woman, who I guess was just leaving the place at that time.
She joined me as I continued walking, clearly smitten by my natural charisma and good looks, and also quite amused by my drunken pantsless antics up the hill earlier. We chatted away, with me pulling out all the charm (I was wearing pants by this time, by the way), and somehow ended up discussing our mothers. I told her I lived alone and she made some remark that was simultaneously funny, clever and insulting. I wish I could remember it. I believe my response seemed to improve her opinion of me, somehow.
Whatever exactly was said, we ended up heading back to her place.
We went inside, she closed the door, and I wasted no time in snaking an arm around her waist, pulling her close, and attempting to kiss her.
Shortly we tumbled onto a nearby armchair and commenced to making out.
I couldn't believe my luck-- and then it ran out. I saw a flash of movement through a doorway, broke the kiss and stared wide-eyed, realising we were not alone. Both of us quickly jumped to our feet and made some pathetic attempt at acting natural. (Amusingly enough, dream-me actually made use of the 'cover your boner with a couch cushion' technique. Comedy gold!)
There were at least two people in the apartment (which was rather small), I believe they were one of my female companion's parents, a step-parent, and a step-sibling. I can't remember exactly, I think we mainly interacted with just one of those- the mother. She didn't seem to particularly care what her (step?)daughter got up to, but her presence still put an end to my amorous intentions.
Something was said, I can't quite remember what, and then the (step?)mother went back into the other room, and the girl I was with murmured that we might need some cocaine. Sure enough, she pulled out a strip of plastic with a couple of tiny baggies of white powder attached to it, then before I could drool over them any longer tucked them away as her (step?)mother came back inside.
Now, the next bit is getting a bit hazy in my memory. I think the (step?)mother was demanding that her daughter do some chore or other, she was annoyed about something. I can't remember quite how, but she ended up asking me to clean out their cat's litter tray. (I think I had met the cat briefly at some point, it was appropriately cute and what-not.)
That didn't sound so bad, so I agreed, thinking it'd be worth it if I meant her lovely daughter and I were free to head back to my place3 (I had suggested as much to her in whispers), not realising just how disgusting these people were. Right there, right in the kitchen/entrance/main room of their little apartment, was a litter tray full of crusty, old, crumbly bits of cat litter and shit that had probably been there for years, mixed with newer stuff, wet, foul-smelling and crawling with maggots.
I'm amazed that I hadn't smelled it sooner. This old bitch handed me a plastic scoop and told me (paraphrased) to get to work.
Hesitating, horrified, I suggested perhaps just emptying the whole tray and washing it out and, y'know, actually changing the litter. I can't recall if she agreed to that or not, but either way I was faced with an awful task.
Whether love truly conquers all or I ran screaming from the house we shall never know, as at that point I woke up. Alas.
1. There was definitely more to the dream earlier on, which I've forgotten. I shan't complain, though, since at least I remembered a fair amount,
2. A bitchin' pair of underpants that I do own in real life. They are a rich blue in colour and decorated with little kombi vans and palm trees.
3. Whilst most of this dream's setting I do not recognize, I know I was currently staying in the small flat that I stayed in for a couple of weeks recently in real life.
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Topic: The Dream Thread (Read 607165 times)