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[freeformschooler]

Jack: Try to find someone adequate to be your server on the INTERNET. You want to know exactly what about this game is arrest-worthy.

(10+1 INT) After wading through the spam ads on GOOGLE, you find a tidbit of support information on the game. Apparently, if you have a client disc then you can only connect to someone else as their "server player", leading them through the game from afar. But to play the game like it's intended, you have to also have the server disc installed? Crap. Well now what are you going to do?

>ACHIM: Conduct tactical retreat

(11-1 DEX) You quickly dash out of the kitchen as BOOTJACK siezes the horror-food. Maybe he didn't see you. Maybe you get to live another day.

From the open door of your room in the apartment, you spot your computer's monitor flash "SERVER INSTALLATION FINISHED... NOW INSTALLING CLIENT".

[TherosPherae]

Jack: Pirate it. Duh.

[Liber celi]

>ACHIM:Read a book or something while the installation finishes; It's not as if anything would happen NOW

[ShoesandHats]

>Andrew: Claim your mail-prize! Pry the mail from the snow-stone! Become the rightful King of England!

[Ochita]

Jon: Its time, to look into dads main art room!

[Blade Master Model 42]

>Penny: Go scout around the house and try to find out what is going on.

[Liber celi]

...but not before pestering somebody

-- prettyPugilist [PP] began pestering darkeningDork [DD] at 01:45 --

Spoiler: Pesterlogging (click to show/hide)

[01:48] PP: Hey, what's up?
[01:48] DD: hey
[01:48] DD: me, for example, despite the rather early hour
[01:49] DD: this chaos out there makes it hard to sleep...
-- prettyPugilist [PP] changed their mood to PLEASANT  --
[01:49] PP: I get up really early, myself.
[01:49] PP: But right now I'm locked out of ym room >:I
[01:49] DD: how did that happen?
[01:50] PP: My parents are having the house cleaned for some reason. No one has said why, which is strange.
[01:50] PP: I just hope they don't mess up my stuff.
[01:51] DD: oh dear. Mama is usually DESTROYING my room when she cleans up
[01:51] PP: Oh no.
[01:51] PP: I hope they don't touch my posters or anything.
[01:52] DD: I on the other hand am kinda locked INTO my room right now by a rather terrifying cat beast
[01:52] PP: What, a cat?
[01:52] PP: But they're so cuddly!
[01:53] DD: yeah, my cat isn't. but don't tell him that I said that!
[01:53] DD: please.
[01:53] DD: at least I got this game...
[01:53] PP: Uh, will do, I guess? Or don't I suppose..
[01:53] PP: I got one too, I think.
[01:53] PP: I was locked out of my room when I went to get it, in fact.
[01:54] DD: Did you get it from some robot guy?
[01:54] DD: I am suspicious about this robot
[01:54] PP: No, it was in my mailbox.
[01:54] PP: ...Though now that I think about it, the butlers have been acting weird today.
[01:55] PP: One of them told me my rom would be clean in 1200 earth seconds or something.
[01:55] PP: Who talks like that?
[01:55] DD: Well, times are tough economically speaking
[01:55] DD: maybe your parents outsourced
[01:55] PP: To where?
[01:55] DD: to, I don't know, Mars
[01:55] PP: That's just silly.
[01:56] DD: yeah, I don't think your butler was a robot
[01:56] DD: or that my robot was a robot
[01:56] DD: he gave me jewellery, after all.
[01:56] PP: Yeah, that seems unlikely..
[01:57] PP: Hey, have you gotten any weird pesterchum messages recently?
[01:57] DD: Except from TB? no
[01:57] DD: He found a calamari under his house. Fascinating.
[01:57] PP: I got one from someone telling me I'd play a game today.
[01:58] PP: And I did get discs in the mail...
[01:58] PP: What?
[01:58] PP: Calamari? That's squid, right?
[01:58] DD: I don't know if that is precognition or statistics...
[01:58] PP: What was a squid doing under his house?
[01:58] DD: Yeah, it isn't really a squid
[01:58] DD: it is a robot that mined his lawn or something
[01:58] PP: Oh.
[01:59] PP: ...Are you sure he wasn't kidding?
[01:59] DD: ...about 66.6%, yes.
[02:02] PP: That's oddly specific.
[02:02] PP: Well, I gotta go. I think I'm going to go find out what's going on around here.
[02:03] DD: yeah, i am going to wait
[02:03] DD: until my beta is installed
[02:03]PP: Alright, see ya.
[02:03] DD: cya!
-- prettyPugilist [PP] ceased pestering darkeningDork [DD] at 02:03 --

EDIT: Oh html. You so silly.

[freeformschooler]

Jack: Pirate it. Duh.

Aw yes. Why didn't you think of this sooner? You head to the Pirate Bay and start torrenting the SUBURB server. There are a lot of disheartening comments like "CONTAINS BOTNET! LITERALLY!" and "PLZ SEED, LAND DEVOID OF LIFE", but you ignore them. This doesn't look like it should take too long, thankfully.

While your crappy computer sure does install things slow, your NINETY THOUSAND TERABIT SATELLITE CONNECTION downloads the file way fast. It should be done in a few.

>ACHIM:Read a book or something while the installation finishes; It's not as if anything would happen NOW

Excellent idea. You nab a book you haven't read in a while from your room. It's one of those IRONIC GAME GUIDES for a game that doesn't even exist but is so elaborate that you just HAVE to read about it anyway. Actual GAME GUIDES may or may not hinder your image as a TRUE ARTIST, but from a distance this looks just like any boring old-timey book, so you can get away with it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

After reading through that chapter and pestering PP, the installation for your CLIENT is thankfully done. The computer displays an elaborate series of empty windows and says "Awaiting connection from client and server..."

Jon: Its time, to look into dads main art room!

DAD always was a TRUE ARTIST, and scattered his art all around the house. You may or may not look up to him for this - that's not for me to decide. Unfortunately, he always keeps his main ART ROOM locked. Just what could be hiding in there?

(Roll: 19-1 DEX) That doesn't keep you from trying to get in, though. You rap on the door a few times to no avail. Right when it looks like he's not answer (much less even in there), two slips of paper with green letter and what looks like discs inside slide out from under the doorway. SCORE!

>Andrew: Claim your mail-prize! Pry the mail from the snow-stone! Become the rightful King of England!

You pull the mail from its snow-stone. You are the rightful Heir to England! Your hopes and dreams have become reality! YOU GOT-

What, it's just these two little discs? Huh.

>Penny: Go scout around the house and try to find out what is going on.

(Roll: NAT 20!) You score a CRITICAL SEARCH and manage to find the one singular maid who's slacking off and smoking a cig. She asks you what ya want sweetie.

[ShoesandHats]

>Andrew: Examine the label on the discs. Look the name up on Google. Don't want to download any viruses, now, do we?

[TherosPherae]

Jack: MOAR SKYRIM

[Ochita]

Jon: Feel a shudder as the queen is no longer the main object of britishness. Then forget about it, and rush over to your computer, you need to get some installing done!

[Blade Master Model 42]

(Roll: NAT 20!) You score a CRITICAL SEARCH and manage to find the one singular maid who's slacking off and smoking a cig. She asks you what ya want sweetie.

>Penny: Inquire as to what's going on that everyone is cleaning in full force and why your room needs to be clean. Also ask where your mom and dad are.

[freeformschooler]

Jack: MOAR SKYRIM

Unfortunately, FROSTED TROLL-HARES don't care whether or not Trix is "for kids".

>Andrew: Examine the label on the discs. Look the name up on Google. Don't want to download any viruses, now, do we?

(ROLL: 8!) You look up SUBURB on Google, but there's a surprisingly scant amount of information on it. It appears to be somewhat malicious or poorly-programmed judging by the comments you can find. On the other hand, the praise for the game mechanics is overwhelming.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[11:25] -- orchestralMachinist [OM] began pestering psuedoSkeptic [PS] at 23:25 --
[11:25] OM: Hello.
[11:25] PS: Not now, I'm in the yard with no means to access a computer!
[11:25] PS: As you can see, I am very busy in that regard.
[11:26] OM: Yes. We can tell by the way you are typing back to us.
[11:26] PS: My internet savvy allows me to type from any location.
[11:27] OM: Would you prefer we contact you at a later time? It concerns your discs.
[11:27] PS: Whenever there is an oppurtunity to postpone a discussion about my discs, I take it.
[11:28] OM: I uh.
[11:28] OM: Yes, well. We will contact you at a later date, then. Preferably a more accesible one. Safe travels.
[11:29] PS: Bye.
[11:29] -- psuedoSkeptic [PS] ceased pestering orchestralMachinist [OM] at 23:29 --

Jon: Feel a shudder as the queen is no longer the main object of britishness. Then forget about it, and rush over to your computer, you need to get some installing done!

Somewhere, a CROWN JEWEL-SETTER sheds a single tear. You head all the way back upstairs to install this EXCELLENT GAME. You pull the discs out of the slips and... wait, where's the manual? Box art? Nothing? Just two identical, blank discs in papery sheets with green lettering? Well... gift horse and all that. You slip the first disc in and your monitor pops up with "SUBURB server installation: calibrating reptilian wizards. 10%..."

>Penny: Inquire as to what's going on that everyone is cleaning in full force and why your room needs to be clean. Also ask where your mom and dad are.

She says last she heard there was a very important guest coming over. Somethin to do with your daddy's estates and funding. She don't know what for, but she heard the man's got more money than anyone could ever have. She hear he's also pretty dangerous, so better have everything prim and proper.

Dangerous? Dangerous. Speaking of danger, it looks like... (15-1 WIS) ...you still have your main weapon allocated. Whew. What was it again? Boxer gloves? Your fist? Tonfas? Or something else?

[TherosPherae]

Jack: Be surprised by a random NPC sneaking up on you. Flip your shit and your keyboard.

[Blade Master Model 42]

She says last she heard there was a very important guest coming over. Somethin to do with your daddy's estates and funding. She don't know what for, but she heard the man's got more money than anyone could ever have. She hear he's also pretty dangerous, so better have everything prim and proper.

Dangerous? Dangerous. Speaking of danger, it looks like... (15-1 WIS) ...you still have your main weapon allocated. Whew. What was it again? Boxer gloves? Your fist? Tonfas? Or something else?

Your weapons are your powerful (yet dainty and lady-like) fists! You never leave home without them. In fact, you never go anywhere without them. That would require amputation.

>Penny: Thank the maid for cluing you in, and go check the exercise room. Maybe daddy is in there.