Kunamost Amost Kun: Cattown the Town of Cats
The Real World"What's an acceptable community fort gimmick?
*long pause of deep thought*
Oh, I know! CATS."
And so the Cat Town ruleset was born. Here's the deal:
- Cats cannot be butchered or killed intentionally.
- Every dwarf with a pet cat must be relocated to fine aboveground quarters, with a private room. You cannot have more than one-quarter of the cat dwarfs in the same structure - this is a town of cats, not a skyscraper of cats.
- Cat-owning dwarfs must not be drafted into the army if they have no pre-existing WEAPON skills (a Great Tracker with no other combat experience doesn't count). Cat-owning dwarfs that do have weapon skills should be issued the best equipment possible.
- Cats now have four prefstrings instead of one, so dwarfs are
four times more likely to prefer, and therefore
be adopt
ed by, one.
- With modding, I have also added three new species of cats. See below.
The Cats- Normal Cat: [NOT_BUTCHERABLE]. 4x the prefstrings. Cute.
- Cave Cat: White cat, also not butcherable. Not available at embark but perfectly tamable. They can naturally be found in the lower cavern layers.
- Giant Cat: Vicious buggers that
can be butchered. They weigh over a ton and have a value multiplier on their products.
- Cat Lord: A cat that lives for centuries. A cat that outweighs the bronze colossus. A cat of nightmares. Bonus points if you catch a breeding pair - it's possible!
The DwarfsThe vast world spinning through space was still fresh. Its magma seas had hardly cooled into continents before the water came, gushing down from the vast glittering expanses of space. Where did that come from? Before this question could be answered, the animals came. Then the humans came, then the dwarfs, then the elves, and then the goblins. And there was a little bit of divine spark left over, but it got lost and eventually ended up as the kobolds while nobody was looking, because who cares? The world Alabelina was complete. Now all it needed was a story...
The children sneak towards the door, rocks in hand. There is a quick flurry of motion, and one microcline pebble bounces off the Hammerer's forehead. He grunts and shambles towards the door, adamantine war-hammer in tow, but all there is to be heard is footsteps echoing through the draughty corridors. His hammer is useless, and his position is a joke ever since the baron died. As Hammerer, he dealt with trauma very well. He had to. But even so, the image of his employer and childhood friend getting slowly drawn into that angry swarm of cave crocodiles, limbs being horribly torn off in fountains of blood... He shook his head. It couldn't be helped. All he could hope was that the little brat who threw that pebble would one day commit a minor crime and be sentenced to the hammer for his trouble. The adamantine hammer wasn't that bad, really, because he could keep using it. Yes. If the first blow caused a bruise, the second one would make it worse, until his victim (the hammerees, he privately called them, or the hammerered) was locked in a carpet of aches and agony with not a single bone broken. And, even better, it was light and easy to clean.
Lost in his own world, he didn't notice when the cat behind him pounced and tore out his throat.
The cat had been scheming a bit, but would soon lose interest and slink off to hunt rats in the food stockpile. The hammerer kept killing the cats' dwarfs, and that meant they had nobody warm to sleep on or good-naturedly bother. Clearly, something would have to be done. Removing him was only an interim solution. For now, they needed something better. Something to provide a safe fortress for catkind forever. The mood here had shifted. The cats were no longer safe. The butcher stared at them with a strange gleam in his eye. But the perfect solution had struck this particular cat in a fit of genius.
It dipped its paw in a vial of dimple ink and began to scratch out a message on the desk of the now-deceased hammerer.
dearr King I hope this Lettere finds you Welle. this fortris is Notte safe I Feel it. a Rebelleious Movemente seeks to overthroww You and Liberate the Peoples wich I think is frankly Ridiculis. i have Overherd their Plannes in the Hallways and already their seeking to Kill ME and strike You down in the Middle of you're Royale Naptime. at Least thirtie or Fourtie Dwarffs are in the movemente and numbere to many to Accuse or Punish. the Solutione which has Ocured to me in the Nite goes as Folows:
1 send Seven or a Similare number of Loyal Dwarfes to a Distant Locationne to start a new Fortris
2 as time Progresses sende Many More dwarfes who you are Assured of theyre Quality and Morals to this Site
3 move into this Fortris when it is Busy, Productif and Safe and leave an Expendable Relativ in yourre Place
I Thinke it is a Good Planne but Allready I feer that they Come for Me remember that Dannger Lies around Every Coridor
- The Humble and Loyale hammerrer of this Mountain HalleThe letter would be found mysteriously deposited next to the king's royal doorstep, along with a dead mouse. Some habits are hard to break.
So, who's up for some cats? Sign up today!