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[Hurize]

So basically post all your fail artifacts here, I got a wooden floodgate adorned with bone

/Facepalm

[Drazinononda]

I just had a dwarf with Weaponsmithing fall into a mood, so I dfhacked the materials to adamantine, thinking an addy sword or spear would be nice...

Came out as a warhammer.

[MrWillsauce]

Give it to your hammerer so his victims will surive

[Hanslanda]

Any perfect cut gems.
Once got a raw adamantine earring.

[Bhargo]

Artifact floodgate with adorned with platinum and diamonds, and a stone table with wool spikes.

[Wrex]

I got an artifact lead Sword before. Q_Q.

[Dalkar]

A rope reed fiber sock adorned with spikes of cat bone. I don't recall the name.

[krenshala]

I really don't understand why people would consider any flavor of artifact floodgate a fail.  Its an indestructible door (that can be held open with a dead butterfly, I admit) that can be placed anywhere, even places a normal door cannot.

I'm not sure about the sock ...

Does a turtle shell buckler adorned with spikes of turtle shell count as a fail? Its worth a whopping 3,600 Urists according to my broker ...

[G-Flex]

No, because only quality matters for a shield, not material.

[DanteThanatos]

But as far as I know Shields dont even need any material to be usefull...a Wooden Shield can hold Dragonfire indefinitely.

[weenog]

I really don't understand why people would consider any flavor of artifact floodgate a fail.  Its an indestructible door (that can be held open with a dead butterfly, I admit) that can be placed anywhere, even places a normal door cannot.

I was about to say more or less the same.  The only fail there is failure to recognize the value of what they've got.

No, because only quality matters for a shield, not material.

Well, material influences weight, and weight influences movement speed and shield bash attacks.  So an abnormally light shield fails if you want your soldiers to hit as hard as possible even with stupid fail attacks, and an abnormally heavy shield fails if you prize mobility.  But for basic defensive purposes, you're right.  Artifact shields are awesome.

[Bigheaded]

i've yet to get a good one, the most useful i've had was an artifact armor stand which stood pretty in a noble room.

[Tirion]

Any and all results of woodcrafting moods.

[Man of Paper]

A lead boot adorned with none of the things.

Fun fact: The guy wearing it died via drowning.

[Oaktree]

My current fort has generated 23 artifacts:
Perfect Gem (1)
lace agate

Clothing/Equipment: (5)
shirt (pig tail fiber), vest (pig tail fiber), tunic (cave spider silk), glove (cave spider silk), quiver (giant gray langur leather)

Crafts: (9)
bracelet (alder wood), scepter (dolomite), amulet (cacao wood), bracelet (dolomite), mug (siltstone), earring (cow bone), trumpet (giant gray langur bone), earring (tetrahedrite), earring (tunnel tube wood)

=== So, about 15 "failures" in items of somewhat limited utility unless you have a noble wear them.

Devices (1)
mechanism (dolomite)

Furniture: (6)
armor stand (copper), door (green glass), statue (adamantine), armor stand (bauxite), bed (bauxite), box (green glass)

=== These seven are useful for generating room value and giving passersby something to get a happy thought looking at.  The door and statue in particular have been placed in very high traffic areas.  The armor stands have been used in the duke's quarters and a heavily used barracks.

Weapons/Armor (1)
spear (adamantine)

=== And the million dwarfbuck item that a Spearlord will carry at some point.  An axe might be better, but at least it's not a hammer.

A lot of items got a decent value due to grabbing gems for decoration - I have bauxite deposits and thus a fair number of rubies and sapphires have been dug out.  These keep getting grabbed as decorations.  I also note a lot of decorations featuring an artifact raw adamantine ring -- this was made at a previous fort of this same civilization.