Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Temporarily9]

Oh, Deathsword, I cannot thank you enough for that archive. I read through Battlefailed and Failcannon entirely on the forum, on my tiny mobile phone's horrid browser. Now I can just convert your .doc to an ebook and read Hellcannon with ease.

[Strategia]

If the fort's just working normally, and nothing of interest is happening, why don't we heed this fine fellow's advice?

Hey let's try building a cannon!

[Teneb]

If the fort's just working normally, and nothing of interest is happening, why don't we heed this fine fellow's advice?

Hey let's try building a cannon!

Now that I think about it, that's exactly what we did when Hellcannon was getting sane...

[Mego]

If the fort's just working normally, and nothing of interest is happening, why don't we heed this fine fellow's advice?

Hey let's try building a cannon!

Now that I think about it, that's exactly what we did when Hellcannon was getting sane...

I want this cannon to be named after me.

[gchristopher]

An extra bonus is that most cannon designs would require rearranging the entry hallway yet again.

When I last looked at the save, it looked like you'd need a pretty large aquifer piercing as well, if you wanted large numbers of minecarts, say, filling up with water or magma and flinging it in random directions.

I don't have a turn any time soon, but I'd be happy to post diagrams for suggested Megocannons, which are designed specially for Horrorfailed and haven't been seen elsewhere on the forums. What could go wrong with that?

[Teneb]

An extra bonus is that most cannon designs would require rearranging the entry hallway yet again.

When I last looked at the save, it looked like you'd need a pretty large aquifer piercing as well, if you wanted large numbers of minecarts, say, filling up with water or magma and flinging it in random directions.

I don't have a turn any time soon, but I'd be happy to post diagrams for suggested Megocannons, which are designed specially for Horrorfailed and haven't been seen elsewhere on the forums. What could go wrong with that?

Depends on one's definition of wrong. But that is hardly relevant.

[LordSlowpoke]

they want to design a cannon

pfwahaha, you're really asking for it guys

no wonder hellcannon went on to become such a shitstorm, if someone just decided to toss one together using spare corpses and some roasted syrup we'd have an aussie-tier device shooting demons and megabeasts laced with magma-laced magma but no we need ~blueprints~ and ~sanity~

time for my dwarf to steal corn from the next human caravan for obvious purposes

[Eric Blank]

Heyheyhey!

Stealing is unbecoming of a dwarf.
   [ETHIC:THEFT:PUNISH_SERIOUS]

[LordSlowpoke]

Heyheyhey!

Stealing is unbecoming of a dwarf.
   [ETHIC:THEFT:PUNISH_SERIOUS]

oh alright seize or pick up the remains or what will you

[Strategia]

Heyheyhey!

Stealing is unbecoming of a dwarf.
   [ETHIC:THEFT:PUNISH_SERIOUS]

oh alright seize or pick up the remains or what will you

[ETHIC:LOOT_CORPSES:MUST_HAVE_SOCKS]

[armeggedonCounselor]

Arcangel, you simply don't understand how masterful my masterpieces are. They are so beautiful, they can bring a tear to the eyes of a zombie, and make the HFS fall to their collective knees and praise Armok.

BECAUSE THEY ARE WONDERFUL MASTERPIECES! HAVE YOU GOT THAT YET?!

[arcangelsd]

I decided today that, given the current state of affairs, I will send the milicia of Horrorfailed to the surface in order to clean it from the hostile undead.

It will be a long and ardous task, and we may have casualties, but (text is interrupted there)

(A long time ago, when Horrorfailed was still inhabited)

Spishaban: Boss, we already cleared the surface from those fickin' raven corpses

Arcangelsd: Yet? I mean, I just gave the order two days ago!

Spishaban: Yup, we know, but maybe sending all of our battle-hardened militia to the surface was a bit of an overkill...

Arcangelsd: So... it's done?

Spishaban: Ayup, boss, we're done outside. Can we get back in yet? the lads are getting dizzy with tae sun, y'know

(Beat)

armeggedonCounselor: HOLY FUCK GUYS JUST LOOK AT THIS MASTERPIECE IT'S SO DARNED MASTERFUL AND WONDERFUL THAT I AM THINKING IN RIPPING MY EYES OFF 'CAUSE I CAN'T STAND SO MUCH MASTERFULLY DONE BEAUTYNESS

Arcangelsd: *Sobs*

(No, really, the clearing was done in less than a minute in real time)

(I'm SO building a freaking cannon, even though I know shit about building magma cannons)

[gchristopher]

(I'm SO building a freaking cannon, even though I know shit about building magma cannons)

By far the best published cannon is QuantumMenace's Wave Cannon using minecarts to fling water. I built a variation in a hermit game and it's a siege-mutilating clown-eating monstrosity. It only took the little guy three decades to finish by himself, too!

Judging by the reactions here, probably you're better off not looking at that thread or having any schematics. Basically just use a lot of impulse ramps to slam minecarts into things, maybe with stuff inside, a lot, and it'll turn out fine. Maybe just construct one long loop of impulse ramps around the surface and fill it with minecarts until it chews up anything that tries to cross?

Pressurized magma is sooo Battlefailed reclaim. It's sad that high-pressure liquids aren't more dangerous. Now if you skipped enough minecarts over enough magma, you could make a lovely magma-mist field that also tends to eject superheated ballistic minecarts at random buggy intervals.

If you can breed cave crocodiles, those'd make pretty good projectiles. A little hard to reload. I think they'd also generate magma mist if skipped over magma fast enough.

In any case other than the water cannon, you need a big aquifer breach. Easiest way is to fill minecarts with magma, put them in another minecart for safe carrying back above, then put the magma carts onto a dumping track stop to pour magma into an aquifer tile.

[Teneb]

If I may suggest, make the cannon vertical, being able to be fired both downwards and upwards.

[Mego]

If you can breed cave crocodiles, those'd make pretty good projectiles. A little hard to reload. I think they'd also generate magma mist if skipped over magma fast enough.

I have these moments of awe occasionally when live creatures are suggested as projectiles. Then, I remember this is Bay12, and get a little disappointed, because that's so Looney Tunes. Why not undead critters?