DFFD upload:
http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=6914Here's my bit for the in-story justification:
Department of Worlds and Universes
Help Desk
---Although many myths have been written on how one's world is created, only those gifted with madness have even known the truth. It is pure fiction that the act of world creation is laborous, or even difficult. Complex as hell, sure, but not difficult. Even now, the water-powered dwarven supercomputer Yggdrasil is creating worlds by the dozen, taking requests from gods (or goddesses) who wish their own realm to rule over. They enter a few parameters, push the button, and presto, new world.
That's where I come in, I'm universe debugger, second class. In short, I listen for hiccups in the multiverse, and try to work out the issues that occasionally crop up when things go pear-shaped. I'd like to say the work is glamorous or even interesting, but its mostly just dredge work. At least it pays the bills.
That is until last week, when I stumbled on a curiosity.
Normally, trouble tickets come from in from the various deities and such who decide to directly interfere with their creations. Usually they manage their charges with the interface (or on occasion even take over a specific individual and go for an adventure). Not this one. The ticket came in for a world called Aluonra, specifically listing an issue with the world, though details were vague and confusing at best.
I'd transcribe it here, but to be honest, it was all sorts of non-sense. Something about a cannon or other shit. I tried to access the world through my viewer, just to find I couldn't. Digging deeper, I went to filing, and pulled the RAW records. Now, I probably should explain that experienced (or sick and twisted) deities can and do tinker with the fundamental underpinning with reality. Some of these are harmless. Others aren't. I still remember that one case where someone modified the chickens to lay live bees.
I still have fucking scars from those bees.
Anyway, Aluonra's raws were heavily modified. As I dug deeper, something felt wrong. I can't describe it in any more detail; it was after all just a feeling. The underlying issue was an index-mismatch; references to raw files that were slightly misnamed in such a way that only those using Linux terminals would have issues. There was also some other issues with the universe-defined drawn objects (aka the graphic packs); I simply took those out of the record and installed a standard set of ASCII definitions so I could at least see what was going on with this world.
As I filed the paperwork back into its cabinet, automated processes in Yggdrasil engaged to make my changes. I suppose my job was done. The ticket had been garbage anyway, and I just fixed a slight oversight. We're not supposed to change people's reality now.
Still, I had this growing sense of unease with this world. Where did that trouble ticket come from? Why does the name Aluonra seem familiar to me?
As I sat at my desk, I brought up the viewer. With the raws corrected, I now saw a settlement on dwarfs partying. Seemed normal enough. My unease grew though, so I brought up Aluonra's world generation record in the main database.
Or at least I tried. The moment I punched in the name, I got a 404 error. File Not Found? What the shit?
Momentarily stemmed, I took a closer look at the ticket. It had been submitted by one 'arclance' and seconded by one 'Mego', but it didn't have any associated user id, or anything to identify who it was. That's when the revelation hit me. Pulling up Aluonra once again, I brought up the unit list. There was a Mego and arclance.
Was it possible the ticket had come from the world itself? It seemed like non-sense, inhabitants shouldn't be aware of us. They sure as hell shouldn't be filing bug reports. At best they might have a sense of "build a staircase" or "dig a tunnel", but direct knowledge?
Unheard of ...
On the other side, this might just be a filing error. The corrupted raws might have thrown Yggdrasil through a loop and the record exists and is just merely misnamed. Then again ...
Fuck it.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this. One way or another.
(OOC: I'm not sure if this is too over the top, or too meta. Feel free to object and this post will vanish into a poof of non-existence.)
Author
Topic: Horrorfailed the Battle-Cannon of Hell - Please do not feed the nobles (Read 578099 times)