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Author Topic: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.  (Read 5209 times)

christehchris

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Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« on: August 17, 2012, 06:46:42 am »
Nobody really cares when they're gone, but when I reached 100 or so dwarves it started happening. How do I keep the brats inside?
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Kaiserr

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #1 on: August 17, 2012, 06:58:36 am »
I dunno.
You could organize a dwarven baby/child fight arena to cut down on the population and determine who gets to be in the military when they're older though  :P
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Quote from: Spinal_Taper on August 01, 2012, 05:08:51 am
Wait, you type with your feet? That's badass.
Quote from: grimman007 on July 14, 2012, 08:13:11 pm
DF: Beat people to death with their own appendages!

Iceflame

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #2 on: August 17, 2012, 07:17:23 am »
You, Sir, are a genius!
This looks like a whole new form of mass pitting childcare.
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Kaiserr

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #3 on: August 17, 2012, 07:20:31 am »
Quote from: Iceflame on August 17, 2012, 07:17:23 am
You, Sir, are a genius!
This looks like a whole new form of mass pitting childcare.
Thank you very much good sir
Now would you like some !!cat kidney biscuits!! and some Plump Helmet wine?
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Quote from: Spinal_Taper on August 01, 2012, 05:08:51 am
Wait, you type with your feet? That's badass.
Quote from: grimman007 on July 14, 2012, 08:13:11 pm
DF: Beat people to death with their own appendages!

612DwarfAvenue

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #4 on: August 17, 2012, 07:48:14 am »
Or just break their legs so they can't go anywhere.

But i like Kaiserr's idea.
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Monk321654

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #5 on: August 17, 2012, 07:51:30 am »
Maybe you could throw a few feral animals into the mix (Like wild ducks and small stuff) just for fun!
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Quote from: GoombaGeek on August 07, 2012, 11:46:09 pm
This is a side-effect of dwarven animal training (hit animal with hammer until it forgets that it hates you, then lovingly cuddle it).

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Blackadder

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #6 on: August 17, 2012, 08:38:02 am »
This might explain why the average dwarf is so insane by the time it reaches adulthood..
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Quote from: Urist_McDrowner on August 08, 2012, 02:18:51 pm
Urist McWrestler: "Hmm, maybe if I bite his ear with my front top teeth, bite his foot with my front bottom teeth, and bite his right hand with my back bottom teeth, I can easily win this fight!"
It's not a real PARTY until the queen has a baby, picks it up, kills two goblins by punching THROUGH THE SKULL with her remaining hand, and then finishes off half a barrel of fungus wine while still nursing.

Iceflame

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #7 on: August 17, 2012, 08:58:05 am »
Quote from: Monk321654 on August 17, 2012, 07:51:30 am
Maybe you could throw a few feral animals into the mix (Like wild ducks and small stuff) just for fun!
Or, you try to add some Fun with captured and unarmed goblins.
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BeserkNINJA

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #8 on: August 17, 2012, 09:06:56 am »
no goblin are to large now kobolds are the perfect size and weight to be an easy weak punching bag for the bloodthirsty demonic hordes (AKA Children) but you will need to include a way of allowing the kids to escape to ensure they don't fall down from exhaustion and get one shot killed.
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christehchris

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #9 on: August 17, 2012, 09:41:48 am »
I have captured about 15 kobold thieves and ambushers so far, preparing the arena and locking the children and babies inside.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #10 on: August 17, 2012, 10:05:33 am »
Did you remove the kobolds' daggers and teeth?
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Joben

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #11 on: August 17, 2012, 10:19:17 am »
How the heck do you confiscate teeth?
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GoombaGeek

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #12 on: August 17, 2012, 10:26:26 am »
Quote from: Joben on August 17, 2012, 10:19:17 am
How the heck do you confiscate teeth?
One good punch is all it takes
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Mr S

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #13 on: August 17, 2012, 10:34:10 am »
New position:  Hammerer/Dentist

(OK, they mostly do that anyway)

TEETH for the TEETH GOD!
GAUZE for the GAUZE THRONE!
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Kofthefens

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Re: Stupid kids keep wandering outside and getting kidnapped while no one's looking.
« Reply #14 on: August 17, 2012, 10:37:15 am »
Quote from: Joben on August 17, 2012, 10:19:17 am
How the heck do you confiscate teeth?
Minecarts loaded with dentists.
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