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[Flying Dice]

Hefting his ferret, Oscar charges at Marius, attempting to convince the ferret to bite the would-be elephant rider.

[Digital Hellhound]

Sergei-Grigori decides to call upon rule 472, revision IIb, and gives the elephant and its rider a stunning right hook for massive points

[Scelly9]

Feest grab someone's feet and pulls them into the hole! He then climbs out of the hole.

[Spinal_Taper]

Calvinball: Tales of Elephants and Left Hooks
(6) Ivan has his eyes on the bonus points, the rubber chickens. He's just got to remember that around half of them are cyborg monstrosities. Oh, he didn't. The Cyborg UltraChicken has sent him hurtling back down to earth with a single mighty kick!

(6+1v 5+1) Down below, Marius has decided that an elephant would be helpful, and he is now trying to tame one. Oscar charges him, ferret in hand! He throws the ferret, which coaxes it into a biting frenzy! However, Marius simply backhands the ferret and gets back to taming his elephant. With extreme strength of will, he takes the beast for his own!

(4+1 v 6+1) However, Sergei-Grigori will have none of that! Justifying his maneuver with rule 472, revision IIb, the "elephant clause", he brings a mighty right hook into Marius and his mount, sending both hurtling towards a stadium wall.

(4+1v6-1) Feest notices Marius landing close to him. He reaches his hand towards Marius, and begins pulling him into the hole. Marius gains back his senses just in time, and is now combating the Sealandians efforts to pull him in!

[Scelly9]

Pull very, very hard.

[Greenstarfanatic]

Grr...
Ivan vill use the Laser Cannon in ze forest to fight ze Cyborg.
If he remembers correctly, he gets prize for this.
After zat, he vill shoot the trees.

[lawastooshort]

Mac sprints round the entire outside of the pitch all the while with his hands making intimidating rabbit teeth gestures at his rivals.

[Flying Dice]

Oscar glances around before dashing past one of the football (soccer? HERESY) goals, shouting "TWO POINTS!".

[GraveHaunter92]

Marius orders his mighty steed to cast the Sealandians back into the abyss before charging Sergei-Grigori with his mount's tusks!

[Firelordsky]

Bull-rush Mac and again try to pants him.

[Digital Hellhound]

Quickly measure the elephant's charging time - if it's too slow, it's out of the game!

[ExKirby]

Name: Alexander "The Marksman" Kyrby
Country: The Grand Unity of the British Empire (GUBE)
Specialty: Precision
Events of Choice: Hockey, Archery, Shooting, Space Diving, Table Tennis, Space Table Tennis, Volleyball, Space Volleyball, Space Beach Volleyball
Fluff: Kyrby is simply the most accurate man there is. Calvinball does not interest him.

[Spinal_Taper]

Calvinball: Just like Boatmurdered

(6v4+1) Feest pulls backwards, putting all his strength into it, including his legs! Bracing himself against the wall of the pit with his legs, he pulls Marius into the pit! They land in a heap about 10 feet below, (3v3+1) both sustaining only minor injuries. (3+1) "ELEPHANT! SERVE ME ONCE MORE!" Marius declares from the bottom of the pit, and the elephant obeys, beginning a charge.

(6) Sergei whips out a stopwatch to measure the speed of the elephants charge. Its charge is at an absolutely incredible speed for an elephant! It tramples him during his mad rush to save his master. Once it reaches the pit, it leaps into the air, intending to drop through the pit. However, it's far too large for that, and only jams up the pit. His master and the Sealandian are both blind in the now total darkness.

Elsewhere, Ivan has grabbed a (1) ferret from the ground. Hearing the rumble of UltraChickens footsteps, he spins around. Cocking the animal like an assault rifle, he aims at his nemesis. When he pulls what he believes to be the trigger, the ferret becomes possessed by a mighty fury! (6) Before it can get its teeth into him, he reacts by instinct, hurling the ferret at UltraChicken (2+1) denting the beasts mighty plate armor! Suddenly, the massive cyborg intones "TARGET ACQUIRED" it a low-pitched, synthesized voice. A set of menacing miniguns spin up, spraying Ivan with (1+1) stuffed animals.

Near the soccer football goals, Oscar is the first to score points, dashing past the goals then crying "TWO POINTS!". He turns his attention to the wall, from which a low rumble is emerging.

Upon the wall, a leaderboard emerges from a panel. It declares that so far, Oscar is the leader, two points above all other contestants. Rushing just under it is Mac, who (2) trips over his own two feet, landing on the track in a crumpled pile. (5+1v3-1) Taking advantage of the situation is Alaric, who rips off Macs pants with a mighty tug then escapes the area, his ill-gotten loot in hand.

[Flying Dice]

Oscar celebrates while keeping an eye on the rumbling. Sounds like tigers!

[lawastooshort]

Mac climbs the nearest flag pole, tears off the flag, fashions pants out of it to attain the 3 point "tailor" bonus, and slides back down all whilst yodelling the Albanian national anthem.