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[Greenstarfanatic]

GIVE CAT TO MOLE PEOPLE

What Mole People? All you see are Chinese people angry because you dug a hole in their garden. You offer them the cat, but they shove it back in your face, ass first. Great, now you're falling back to the center of the earth.

>INFILTRATE OFFICE OF GOLF COURSE

RESCUE ALL THEIR PANDAS

YOU MISSING CLEANING LADY OUTFIT. AND CRISPER BAGS. COME BAck LATER, THE PANDAS NEED YOU!

BURN THE GOLF COURSE! MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The voice solidifes for a split second in order to slap some FECKIN' SENSE INTO YA'!

Dream of beautiful women and comfy pillows.

...You lay down and begin to dream, thinking of comfy pillows. Your head lays down softly on the sand. Your thoughts slowly change to hot women and...you do something I cannot print here. Why, Man, WHY?!

Exorcise Mr. Fluffles by yelling. Then yell some more.

You yell at Mr. Fluffles, and the spirit flies out, annoyed by your prescence . In addition, Mr. Fluffles becomes a more suitable Orcish Weapon:
IRON STUFFIE.

Haunt! (duh)

The only thing left to haunt is yourself. This creates a highly cpomplicated paradox that requires me wrting you out of existence to fix.
NIIICE.

Revive derm.

Derm gets revived, but is now a pig. Oh well, you win some, you turn into a pig on some...

THROW GOLFBALL BACK.  THEN PASS OUT IN SANDTRAP!

You only succeed in throwing the ball into your face yet again. You feel so awake now that you take off your clothes and begin streakingacross the course, in obvious pain.

The Pandas are deply disturbed.

Current Setting: Golf Course.
 

[Scelly9]

Transform derm into human

[GraveHaunter92]

((  ))
COVER MYSELF IN BLUE WARPAINT LIKE SOME KIND OF GALLIC WARRIOR!  CHARGE PANDAS WITH DUAL GOLF CLUBS!

[Corai]

WORRY FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S SANITY.

[Xantalos]

Start uncontrollably sh***ing a jet stream of miniature Jackie Chans to eat other people.

[Person]

BECOME IMMUNE TO EXPLOSIVES.

[Sinpwn]

Assasinate the closest person to me (except me) by biting off my fingers and spitting them.

[Loud Whispers]

Check watch in cliched manner whilst falling to pass the time. If the laws of drama physics are correct, I should then appear on the other side of the tunnel... Some time later.

[Nirur Torir]

Find an off-hand weapon.

[zomara0292]

Appear in the sky.

[sayaks]

Become an eldritch abomination, then haunt.

[Geen]

By page three this has gone batshit insane. Well done!

[Caerwyn]

Awaken from my delicious sleep, and get my red-headed tsundere childhood friend to cook me up a nice meal of coleslaw and fried pickles dipped in ketchup.

[ReDeadEr]

Show up out of nowhere and flip-kick a guy.

[Greenstarfanatic]

Transform derm into human

You only succeed in turning him into absolutely nothing. He's there, but he isn't. Like Schroedinger.

((  ))
COVER MYSELF IN BLUE WARPAINT LIKE SOME KIND OF GALLIC WARRIOR!  CHARGE PANDAS WITH DUAL GOLF CLUBS!

By Gallic did you mean Garlic? 'Cause you're now a pair of cloves. At least you're blue. The PANDAS seem a lot more content, what with being inside the clubhouse in front of the fire.

WORRY FOR EVERYONE ELSE'S SANITY.

You seem to only be able to worry for your own sanity. You selfish bastard.

Start uncontrollably sh***ing a jet stream of miniature Jackie Chans to eat other people.

You start sh***ing out jackie chans, but they happen to be life-size. You pass out from the pain as the Chans go around kicking stuff randomly.

BECOME IMMUNE TO EXPLOSIVES.

NO.

Assasinate the closest person to me (except me) by biting off my fingers and spitting them.

You think that the closest person to you is the Voice, so you spit your fingers into the sky. Have you ever heard of that guy that died from a bullet that was shot straight into the air and came down on him? Yeah, you just killed Xantalos. And you're bleeding. A LOT.

Check watch in cliched manner whilst falling to pass the time. If the laws of drama physics are correct, I should then appear on the other side of the tunnel... Some time later.

You check your watch while falling, and you end up in a tunnel when you wake up. Then you see headlights.
AFTER THESE MESSAGES WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

Find an off-hand weapon.

You tear off your hand and start swinging it around.  It begins to repeatedly slap you in the face. It hops down and scuttles away. Now you're bleeding as much as SinPwn. Good Job.

Appear in the sky.

You appear on the Panda Clubhouse.

Become an eldritch abomination, then haunt.

You become an eldritch abomination, but you're quickly destroyed by the TVTropes cast of We Are All Traped In A Mansion.

By page three this has gone batshit insane. Well done!

Thank You, Geen.

Awaken from my delicious sleep, and get my red-headed tsundere childhood friend to cook me up a nice meal of coleslaw and fried pickles dipped in ketchup.

NO.

Show up out of nowhere and flip-kick a guy.

You kick flip Caerwyn. Thank you.

Sorry if this was a bit less funny, but I just woke up...