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[Amber Wolf]

Hi, Well I've been with my current boyfriend for ten months now, We have alot of arguements, And he is the opposite of chivalrous, Everyone, even himself calls him the D word... He wanted to take a two week break since we were getting into alot of arguements.. So we did back from June 20th - July 4th... He would always blow me off, Or hang out with me for 30 mins, So I posted on craigslist, And found B... And he kissed me on accident. Well, A found out about this and more.. So he went insane, Told all of his friends,And such. Then he got over it in a week, And told me to stay at his appartment when he went over to get a computer from his friend DJ, He was gone for 45 mins.. And little did i know he got a girls number while over there. Around july 31st, A random number texted him and I asked him who it was. I called the number and the answering machine was a girls voice. I told him i wanted to text them, And he called me paranoid... And took his phone from me.. And then he told me he was texting the other girl and wanted to get with her because he could never forgive me or look at me the same way.

I got angry, And walked two miles home.. Just to call him back and ask for the rest of my stuff back, he came over and gave me it, Then took me to the park and bought me a pack of smokes. He led me on because he still wanted to be my friend, And the last time he asked me to just be friends I SAID NO, And that was waay before I cheated. HE said he wanted to become friends with her and eventually get with her, And just to be best friends with me.

I got angry, And upset from this. I got dressed, ANd he took me to the mall. Then he called his "Friend" and she didnt want to hang out so he called me saying he missed me and that he was stupid he made a mistake and lost me. I've been bringing it up because ive been hurt lately, And he is getting upset about it. It makes him really angry. He also has changed his email passwords and the like. He wont let me see his phone records, So im afraid he is still cheating on me....

Not to mention he yells at me, And hits objects when he gets angry... but hes never hurt me...
We have promises to never talk to the opposite sex unless they are family... Also.. Now we have one where he cant hang out with his friends without me.. But i think hes just going behind my back and going to see them... I really dont trust him, And neither does he trust me...
He is irrational, And recently got a new car.... Should i just leave him...?

[Tellemurius]

Wait wait hold on, you told him he can't hang with his friends unless you are around? You guys aren't allowed to talk to the opposite sex? Come on this is way too control freak for anyone. If theres no trust in the relationship then its already dead and you better bail first before you are gonna get hurt badly.

[nenjin]

And he is the opposite of chivalrous, Everyone, even himself calls him the D word...

When he calls himself that, it should be a red flag to you.

And what Telle said. You guys are in a dysfunctional, jealous relationship. Consider if you're honestly willing to put in the work to actually save a relationship like that, or if maybe you need to be single again for a while and do some maturing and find someone more mature than this guy. The responsibility for how the relationship is going as you describe it cuts both ways.

[LordBucket]

Cheated, then got cheat.

...so, you cheated on him first? And then he retaliated. Ok. So, you started it, yes?

HE said he wanted to become friends with her and eventually get with her,
And just to be best friends with me.

...so, after you cheated on him, he told you that he wanted to be with this other girl, and not with you?

He didn't go behind your back, he didn't lie. Instead he gave you advance notice and told you what what going on.

How exactly is that cheating?

the last time he asked me to just be friends I SAID NO

Then he called his "Friend" and she didnt want to hang out so he called me saying he missed me and that he was stupid he made a mistake and lost me.

He also has changed his email passwords and the like.

Ok. Honestly, to me it sounds like you cheated on him, and that made him angry, which inspired him to want to do the same. And yet I don't see you claiming that he actually did. He told you he found somebody else and wanted to break up with you. That's not cheating. That's a breakup. But you freaked out and tried to keep him anyway. And unfortunately he's too effeminate to stick to his guns so he's letting you manipulate him and getting angry about it. Right about that time, this other girl he wanted to be with didn't seem to reciprocate his interest so he figured being with you would be better than being alone. So he's still angry, doesn't want to be with you, but doesn't have any better options, so he's resigned himself to being stuck in a relationship he doesn't want. And you're the stronger personality in this relationship, so he's passively-aggressively responding to your successful control over him.

Am I correcting understanding the situation?

I really dont trust him, And neither does he trust me...
He is irrational, And recently got a new car.... Should i just leave him...?

Based on what I'm hearing, I'd suggest you apologize to him and accept responsibility for your own actions. Then sit down and have an open and honest talk with him, and the two of you decide together what's in both your bests interests.

And rather than "leaving him" you might consider letting go and allowing him to do what he told you up front that he wanted to do: break up with you.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Mistakes made, in chronological order:

Hi, Well I've been with my current boyfriend for ten months now, We have alot of arguements, And he is the opposite of chivalrous, Everyone, even himself calls him the D word... He wanted to take a two week break since we were getting into alot of arguements.. So we did back from June 20th - July 4th... He would always blow me off, Or hang out with me for 30 mins, So I posted on craigslist, And found B... And he kissed me on accident. Well, A found out about this and more.. So he went insane, Told all of his friends,And such. Then he got over it in a week, And told me to stay at his appartment when he went over to get a computer from his friend DJ, He was gone for 45 mins.. And little did i know he got a girls number while over there. Around july 31st, A random number texted him and I asked him who it was. I called the number and the answering machine was a girls voice. I told him i wanted to text them, And he called me paranoid... And took his phone from me.. And then he told me he was texting the other girl and wanted to get with her because he could never forgive me or look at me the same way.

-Dating someone who even considers themselves to be a dick.

-Not breaking it off with someone you constantly argue with and whom appears to actually dislike you.

-Searching for relationships on Craigslist.

-Cheating through Craigslist.

-Snooping around someone else's phone.

I got angry, And walked two miles home.. Just to call him back and ask for the rest of my stuff back, he came over and gave me it, Then took me to the park and bought me a pack of smokes. He led me on because he still wanted to be my friend, And the last time he asked me to just be friends I SAID NO, And that was waay before I cheated. HE said he wanted to become friends with her and eventually get with her, And just to be best friends with me.

I got angry, And upset from this. I got dressed, ANd he took me to the mall. Then he called his "Friend" and she didnt want to hang out so he called me saying he missed me and that he was stupid he made a mistake and lost me. I've been bringing it up because ive been hurt lately, And he is getting upset about it. It makes him really angry. He also has changed his email passwords and the like. He wont let me see his phone records, So im afraid he is still cheating on me....

-Not realizing this relationship is completely over.

-Having your boyfriend's email passwords and phone records at any point in time.

Not to mention he yells at me, And hits objects when he gets angry... but hes never hurt me...
We have promises to never talk to the opposite sex unless they are family... Also.. Now we have one where he cant hang out with his friends without me.. But i think hes just going behind my back and going to see them... I really dont trust him, And neither does he trust me...
He is irrational, And recently got a new car.... Should i just leave him...?

-Being extremely controlling of one another and not realizing that trust is important in a relationship.

It isn't a matter of whether or not you should leave him, this is pretty clearly over to him already. Next time you find someone I would advise you to be more trusting of them. Agreeing not to talk to other people while not in the other's presence is the opposite of trusting. It is, in fact, the epitome of being a control freak. Having your SO's passwords and contact records is similarly controlling.

[MrWiggles]

You're 17. (As per her profile.) Get over yourself.

This was a terrible relationship, as how it was described and used it as a learning experience for the future. You two dont even have enough life experience to understand you can be friends with the the sex whom you can be attracted to, without it being some sorta perceived threat to your relationship.

[Amber Wolf]

I cheated on him because i thought he found someone else. He would only see me like 30 mins, One time a week during that time and always blow me off. After i cheated on him and he found out about it, He said he loved me, And never wanted to lose me and that he promised to work through this.
A couple of weeks later he got a girls number, And was texting her and met up with her and such. He told me he gave up on me after he was texting her, And that he just wanted revenge, So after all that blew over, We are even apparently, And starting from a clean slate... I love him... But I mean its just i still feel resentment, And that I could never trust him again, And neither could he trust me... We said we would work on it... But Honestly.. Idk. He also forces me to come to his stocking job with him, He stocks bread, And has me come in at like 3am in the morning. Its hard to tell him no...

[MrWiggles]

You're the only person who can make you cheat on your perceived relationship. It is in no way his fault. You made a bad decision based on poor understanding of the situation.

I love him... But I mean its just i still feel resentment, And that I could never trust him again, And neither could he trust me...

I honestly doubt if you understand what love is. Which being 17, is probably true. If you cant trust each other, and you're resentful of him, then why are you two trying at this farce when you two have just shown each other that you solve your realtionship problems through hurting each other.

[Bdthemag]

And thus comes the point in the thread where it turns into OP just defending himself/herself against other people. I suggest you just lock the thread, considering that the only thing that can be given at this point is criticism.

[Felius]

Honestly, from what could be told from your descriptions, the relationship you two have is absurdly dysfunctional. As it stands now, you two won't likely work very well together. It might be a good idea to at the very least stand apart, get along with your life, date other persons, and in the future, after a decent amount of time passes, if you two are single and are interested in getting back together, to give it another try with clean slates.

Of course, you are the one in the ground and who know all the details. What I can say is, think really freaking hard about what you should do. Consider it rationally and do think how you two are going if you get back together.

And finally: Remember that advice from random people in the internet might not be the best advice ever. Consider carefully any advice given by us or from any other random person in the internet. We are advising from our chairs, in front of our computers in the comfort of our homes, without having all the context.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Both you and he clearly have massive issues. What you are trying to keep alive is not a healthy relationship. Confirm that it's over with him, don't contact him again, and learn from the train wreck of mistakes you both made.

[MrWiggles]

Also stop smoking. Thats just plain fucking stupid.

[weenog]

MrWiggles is right on all of it.  Especially the smoking.  I've been in a dysfunctional relationship with nicotine for 17 years now.  I know I should quit seeing her, but she always finds some leverage to convince me to take her back and leave me feeling stupid in the process.  You think breaking up with someone as dishonest and foolish as you is hard, try breaking up with an addiction that's lasted more than half your lifetime.

[MrWiggles]

MrWiggles is right on all of it.  Especially the smoking.  I've been in a dysfunctional relationship with nicotine for 17 years now.  I know I should quit seeing her, but she always finds some leverage to convince me to take her back and leave me feeling stupid in the process.  You think breaking up with someone as dishonest and foolish as you is hard, try breaking up with an addiction that's lasted more than half your lifetime.

Pansy, get over it. 8b

[G-Flex]

As most everything else has already been said:

How the hell do you kiss someone accidentally? Is this an anime we're talking about here?