Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[DJ]

It's been a week since I last shaved, and my moustache is itching like hell. Sure, I could go shave, but then I'd have to go through this all over again in a week. Then it dawned to me that I could just grow a proper moustache and be done with it forever. Problem is, my facial hair is kinda patchy so it'd look ugly. So my question is, is there a way to encourage one's moustache to grow full and luscious? And no, I don't think getting older will work, as I'm already 28.

[Heron TSG]

I've no hair growth tips, but this does remind me of why I decided to grow sideburns.

[nenjin]

Trim it.

No seriously, facial hair gets split ends too.

Unfortunately, for those of us that aren't super hairy, there will always be an awkward 3 to 4 month period where any new facial hair is going to look like crap while it grows in.

[Pnx]

Good facial hair is really hard to do, and a lot of us just don't have the kind of hair that works well as a beard/moustache. I think I'm going to just advise you not to bother, getting a good moustache going takes a long time, often requires a lot of meticulous grooming to get it looking good, and at the end of the day you still tend to wind up looking like just another douche-bag with a porn 'stache.

[Loud Whispers]

Pretty much what Pnx said. And then there's the good few months of moustache limbo when you're not quite there but it stands out as if a wild cactus has appeared on your face...

[Dutchling]

Don't listen to them! I bet your moustache looks hideous wonderful already.

Now post some pictures here

[Starver]

1) Shave completely,
2) Buy a false moustache in the style you want,
3)
4) Profit!

I've experimented with facial hair[1] in the past, some might say I still am doing.  I think the main thing is definition.  Like already mentioned, split-ends and uneven growth make everything a bit fuzzy, so don't be scared to trim the surface.  Also definition to the side.  If you're not intentionally running your moustache around the sides of your mouth and into the cheek-pad parts of a beard, and also also melding into sideburns, decide where your limits are and be as aggressive as your particular shaving-methods can be in keeping the edges trimmed and the rest of the face stubble-free.

Also, from experience, you can sometimes prune a bit more than you wanted.  A bit of wetting (after the whole shaving issue, whether that was wet or dry[2] and 'combovering' can rectify that, if it's not too bad.  I wouldn't advise (also from experience) hair-gel, although going the whole hog and waxing the moustache, a la Poirot, would be a style statement.

I've never (intentionally) gone for moustaches/beards that grow beneath their 'bedding'.  Like full on handlebar ones, spikey or curly pertuberances.  Good luck with that, if you're going that way, eventually.  Obviously you need to modify things from my plan to build up enough length to draw to the side and accomplish such things.


[1] It's alive!  It's Alive!!!  Mwahahaha!   Argh!  No, my creation, no!  I am your master!  You will obey me!  Arg...  <gurgle> <thud>

[2] Personally, I dry shave with a (supposed to be used wet) safety-razor (edit: erm, disposable thing... YKWIM), but I have an electric hair-trimmer for length control, of whatever bits I don't shave completely (and the head-hair likely to loll down in front of the ears, if I'm not currently sporting sideburns).  Also useful when I let the stubble get a bit much for the razor.

[Osmosis Jones]

A good way to start is with a goatee; I found in my experience, it was easier to rock a whole goatee than a moustache during those horrid early stages. Once it's grown in, then you can shave off the chin, if you really want to.

Also, to echo the others; trimming can not be over-emphasised! Though, unless you want to spend hours with comb and scissors, electric trimmers are kind of a must.

[Svarte Troner]

You mean those Bosnian Hajduk genes aren't doing it for you?

Looking at this picture is how I grow facial hair.

[Dutchling]

That moustache is so awesome it ate his tie.

[The Fool]

What style of mustache are you trying to grow? As someone that grew a handlebar mustache I can tell you that you need to be patient for some styles of mustaches. Depending on the style it may or not be possible depending on how patchy it is.

[Iosyn]

eh, I had a goatee and mustache at one point, it didn't itch at all once it was done.
 Then I just shaved it all off because it just got too annoying to trim-- also it made me look like some evil megalomanic.

Also goddamn but it won't stop growing. My neck itches every three days like clockwork, I'd go get some laser surgery for it if it wasn't ridiculously expensive and I didn't want people shooting lasers at my face.

Still, my friend keeps trying to grow facial hair and fails. I get to point and laugh at him every time I see him with a wisp of hair.

[Starver]

So you don't want to look like an evil megalomaniac?  Have you considered going into group therapy?  ('Not-being-an-evil-megalomaniac's Anonymous, for example?)

Apart from not being plain weird, giving in to your god-given evil megalomaniacity also meshes well with your other desire because you get to fire lasers at the faces (or other probably hairy areas of the body) of other people...  Win-win!



Back on subject, the one facial-hair style that I tried and didn't like was when I found myself with a Tom Green-style one, of the day...

Spoiler: A bit like this one... (click to show/hide)

I first noticed how it didn't work too well for him, with that expression he was using a lot at the time[1], and then saw that unless I smiled all the time (and even then, maybe not) it looked awful on me too...




[1] As brought to my attention in an "American Comedians Do The Funniest Things"-style show, where he had is parents' car detailed with obscene images. 

[Iosyn]

The only way I could look more evil is to be bald. I really wanted to have long, straight hair-- but it's too thick and none of the hairdressers I visit ever seem to know what the hell 'thinning out' actually means.

Also, I could twirl my mustache. It felt awesome. It's like a +10 Confidence boost.

[MaximumZero]

I could ship you a box. I have plenty to go around.