Respawn as Raiden, rain, lightning, etc.
(3) RESPAWNED AS RAIDEN FROM MORTAL KOMBAT.
Respawn as Lauren Faust.
Faust-ify NIKO MAN.
(5)
"AAAARRRRRRGGHHHHHHH I FEEELLLLLL SOOOOO WEEELLLLL ANIMATTTTEEEEEDDDDDD!" NIKO FALLS TO THE GROUND CONVULSING, COMPLETELY VULNERABLE.Begin Hideo Kojima-style cutscene story insanity, bending the forces of common sense to bring Snake back healthy, and have him hijjack Metal Gear while singing "Bicycle Built for Two" and breakdancing with a russian tree frog.
EDIT: And the death toll is behind!
(2) "I LIKE CABBAGE."
BEGIN WRITING TO NIKO.
PAPER SAYS: "LET US ROB A BANK, AND SPLIT IT 99% TO YOU, 1% TO ROMAN. I DON'T WAN'T MONEY, I JUST WAN'T TO SHOOT PEOPLE."
(1) THE POLICE TAP YOUR PHONE AND ARREST YOU FOR CONSPIRACY PLOT. IN JAILE.
Form a private military company "Pacmanwater", staffed exclusively by Pacmen cookies, then destroy Niko.
(1) YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME BEING EATEN BY CHILDREN. DED.
RESPAWN AS ANOTHER POKEMON TRAINER. TELL NIKO THAT SHORTS ARE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR
(2) RESPAWNED AS METROSEXUAL YU-GI-OH DUELIST.
(5) "DOES THIS LEATHER MAKE MY ASS LOOK BIG?"
"AGJEABGAEWBJAKEFWBHLAKENCINEAIWBIAEWBGIALEGW-" WHAT A GREAT REPLY.
Respawn as an entire nation of potatoes.
(1) GOD RECEIVES YOUR PETITION. HE'S SO DISGUSTED HE SENDS YOU TO HELL. SATAN IS SO DISGUSTED HE LOCKS YOU IN A SMALL ROOM AND MAKES YOU LISTEN TO 'BLOOD ON THE DANCE FLOOR' SONGS FOREVER.
BECOME ULTIMATE VIDEO GAME EVIL, THE ANNOYING IMMORTAL CHILD. JUMP IN FRONT OF ROMAN'S TAXI IN GIRL SCOUT COSTUME AND BOX OF TRIPLE CHOCOLATE FUDGE GRENADES.
(1) YOU TRY TO GO BACK TO THE WORLD AS AN IMMORTAL CHILD, BUT YOU TAKE A WRONG TURN AND GO INTO THE SECTION OF HELL RESERVED FOR MOLESTORS AND RAPISTS.
GOOD JOB.
POP OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A ROCKET LAUNCHER AND BLOW NIKO SKY FUCKING HIGH!!!!
(3) YOU SHOOT A ROCKET NEAR NIKO AND IT MAKES HIM ROLL OVER.
MOONWALK OUT OF JAIL
SMACK GUARDS IN SNOUT TO ESTABLISH LEADERSHIP
. . . GET NIKO BELLIC
(4) MOONWALK OUT OF JAILE.
(1) SMACK GUARDS IN SNOUT. GUARDS SMACK YOU IN HEAD WITH BATONS A LOT. DED.
START STREAKING ACROSS THE ROOM, SCREAM "WOO, FOOTBALL!"
ATTEMPT TO TACKLE NIKO BELLIC WHILST NAKED
(2) YOU GET CONFUSED BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA SO DO YOU CALL IT FOOTBALL OR SOCCER HERE? OR EUROPEAN FOOTBALL? OR AMERICAN SOCCER? OR UNDERWATER BASKET WEAVING?
(5) YOU TACKLE NIKO, PINNING HIM UNDER YOUR NAKED BODY.
ROMAN ATTEMPTS TO STOP TSUCHIGUMO FROM PINNING NIKO. (6) DOES SO BY SHOOTING HIM. BULLET GOES THROUGH TSUCHIGUMO AND INTO NIKO. NIKO STOPS CONVULSING.
"FUCK! YOU ARE IDIOT COUSIN!" TSUCHIGUMO IS DED. NIKO PUSHES CORPSE OFF HIM.
METAL GEAR PICKS UP RAIDEN. (4) REMOVES RAIDEN'S FEET. OW.
ARMENIAN HITMAN TRIES BUILDING ARMY. (5) BUILDS MERCENARY ARMY.
"FUCK COUSIN!" NIKO SHOOTS AT ROMAN. (1) SHOOTS SELF IN FOOT NOW. FALLS OVER. "FUCK!"DRIVING AWAY. SHOT. AND AGAIN SHOT IN FOOT.
BARADINE - SWAT DIRECTOR.
MCCLAY - PSP AGENT.
BORNO - NIKO BELLIC II. BLEEDING CHEST WOUND.
KINGFISHER - MILITARY PRECISION BOMBER.
SAYAKS - CRAZY HOMELESS GUY WHO THINS HE'S A MONSTER. FACE SMASHED. DAZED. (-1 to rolls next turn)
IMAKUNI - YOUTH BASKETBALL TEAM.
CORAI - CLASSY IDIOT. SEARED THROAT. JAILE.
GREENSTARFANATIC - APPLEJACK.
XANTLOS - RICH ART THIEF.
SPINAL_TAPER - RAIDEN. MISSING FEET.
PRAECORDIA - METROSEXUAL DUELIST.
DONUTS - ROCKET MAN.
METAL GEAR
ARMENIAN HITMAN
MERCENARY ARMY
ALL CIVILLIANS IN LIBERTY HOSPITAL
RAMBO
22 SWATS
ANOTHER ENTIRE HOSPITAL
A NEIGHBORHOOD
EVERYONE IN RESTURAUNT
THA' BOSS
6 EUROPEAN GANGSTERS
THIRD STREET SAINTS
4592 CIVILLIANS LOST TO FLOOD
SPACE COUNCIL
INCREDIBLY SLOW TANK DIVISION
O.G.Z. BOSS
HOMESTUCK
MICHIGAN
O.G.Z. GANG
MCDONALDS
EAST COAST RAPPERS
EAST EUROPEAN GANG
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Topic: YOU NEED GET NIKO BELLIC (Read 22683 times)