INVITE NIKO OVER TO ROB A BANK, WHILE DRINKING TEA.
(6) YOU DRINK SO MUCH TEA YOU SEAR YOUR THROAT AND CAN NOT COMMUNICATE TO NIKO, OR ANYONE FOR THAT MATTER.
> Be PMC
> Tactical bombing of Niko Bellic
(3) YOU ARE PAC MAN COOKIE. THIS MAKES IT DIFFICULT TO BOMB NIKO.
RESPAWN AS CADANCE/ARMOR DUO.
BREAK BILLY MAYS OUT OF JAILE.
FIGHT CRIME.
AND BY CRIME, I MEAN NIKO MAN.
(3) RESPAWN AS ARMOR AND LUNA IN A CADANCE MASK.
(1) YOU TRY TO BREAK BILLY MAYS OUT AND GET SHOT BY PRISON GUARDS. DED.
RUSH NIKO, HARNESS RAIDENS POWER.
(1) YOU RUN INTO FENCE. DED.
USE FULL HEAL TO FIX KNEECAPS. PIKACHU USE THUNDERBOLT ON NIKO BELLIC
(3) YOU USE FULL HEAL TO FIX KNEECAPS. THEY DONT WORK, BUT AT LEAST IT DOESNT HURT ANYMORE.
(6) PIKACHU USES THUNDERBOLT. SO POWERFUL IT BECOMES A FIELD OF ELECTRICITY AND KILLS BOTH PIKACHU AND YOU. DED.
Steal Niko's left buttock
Sell to China
(3) YOU STEAL NIKO'S PORTRAIT OF HIS LEFT BUTTOCK.
(5) CHINESE BUY IT FOR 5 YUAN, THE EQUIVALENT OF 10 TRILLION U.S. DOLLARS. YOU ARE RICH.
Become NIKO BELLIC, take suicide.
(6) IN SOME OTHER UNIVERSE INCONCIQUENSTIAL TO THIS ONE, YOU DIE. DED.
SUMMON BIGGER EASTERN SOUTHERN EUROPEAN
DESTROY INVADERS
(3) YOU SUMMON ARMENIAN HITMAN.
(5) HE KILLS EASTERN EUROPEAN GANG. DED.
CLOSE ENOUGH. RAISE MCDONALDS ANTI NIKOBELLICNESS.
(6)
"NIKO BELLIC IS BAD." HOWEVER, THE AD IS SPONSERED BY DANE COOK. NO ONE WANTS TO EAT AT MCDONALDS ANYMORE. MCDONALDS FAILS AND IS DED. YOU ROT AND DECAY. DED.
Begin production of MGS5, where you play as a paraplegic Snake in a robot wheelchair and have to fight the forces of old folks homes and cancer. Profit.
(2) YOU RELEASE A CRAPPY FLASH GAME ON NEWGROUNDS THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT.
ROMAN HELPS HIS COUSIN UP. (3) HE CHUCKS NIKO THROW FRONT WINDOW, HOPS IN CAR, AND STARTS DRIVING AGAIN.
EAST COAST RAPPERS EAT FNIFF, THE PAC MAN COOKIE. (6) PAC MAN COOKIE LACED WITH CANCER. EAST COAST RAPPERS DED. FNIFF DED.
METAL GEAR PUNCHES GEEN. (5) DED.
ARMENIAN HITMAN TURNS ON LORDSLOWPOKE. WHAT A TWIST! (2) LORDSLOWPOKE SUMMONS HIS GUARDS. (6) LORDSLOWPOKE'S GUARDS DECIDE TO TEAM UP WITH ARMENIAN HITMAN AND MUTINY. (4) LORDSLOWPOKE CAPTURED. IN JAILE.
"ROMAN, GET US OUT OF HERE!" (2) THE ENGINE DIES.
"FUCK!"LORDSLOWPOKE - MILITARY ARTILLERY GUY. OVERTHROWN, IN JAILE.
BARADINE - SWAT DIRECTOR.
MCCLAY - PSP AGENT.
BORNO - NIKO BELLIC II. BLEEDING CHEST WOUND.
KINGFISHER - MILITARY PRECISION BOMBER.
SAYAKS - CRAZY HOMELESS GUY WHO THINS HE'S A MONSTER. FACE SMASHED. DAZED. (-1 to rolls next turn)
IMAKUNI - YOUTH BASKETBALL TEAM.
CORAI - CLASSY IDIOT. SEARED THROAT.
GREENSTARFANATIC - APPLEJACK.
XANTLOS - RICH ART THIEF.
METAL GEAR
ARMENIAN HITMAN
ALL CIVILLIANS IN LIBERTY HOSPITAL
RAMBO
22 SWATS
ANOTHER ENTIRE HOSPITAL
A NEIGHBORHOOD
EVERYONE IN RESTURAUNT
THA' BOSS
6 EUROPEAN GANGSTERS
THIRD STREET SAINTS
4592 CIVILLIANS LOST TO FLOOD
SPACE COUNCIL
INCREDIBLY SLOW TANK DIVISION
O.G.Z. BOSS
HOMESTUCK
MICHIGAN
O.G.Z. GANG
MCDONALDS
EAST COAST RAPPERS
EAST EUROPEAN GANG