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Total Members Voted: 364

[Graknorke]

Not a report, but worth posting here.

I was out in adventure mode hunting for a vampire. I found my way to the town with a hammerman and a miner as companions, and started searching house-by-house. I came to a house, and the first thing I noticed was the corpse stashed into the far corner. From there it wasn't hard to find the vampire covered in human jewelery.

[Beenoc]

The Expedition Leader strikes the Chinchilla Woman in the mouth with his (copper pick), tearing apart the muscle!
The (copper pick) has lodged firmly in the wound!
The Expedition Leader twists the embedded (copper pick) around in the Chinchilla Woman's mouth!

[Slayerhero90]

The Expedition Leader strikes the Chinchilla Woman in the mouth with his (copper pick), tearing apart the muscle!
The (copper pick) has lodged firmly in the wound!
The Expedition Leader twists the embedded (copper pick) around in the Chinchilla Woman's mouth!

Dwarven Dentistry.

[omg_scout]

Lies.

No living being can kill a giant sponge.

[Slayerhero90]

Lies.

No living being can kill a giant sponge.

It wasn't killed...

[EvilBob22]

There's been a tantrum spiral and 90% of the everything in the fort died.  But "Lucky" the two-legged cat is still around, and he just adopted a dying kid with one leg in the hospital.

Where is the dying kid's other leg?

*Que rim-shot*

[laularukyrumo]

"Some Migrants have arrived"

Okay, not too interesting on its own. But there's a pack of wolves (Not a wolf, not two wolves, A FULL ON PACK) like, a few squares away. Time to engrave some slabs!

Alternatively, time to savescum? (cause I just loaded up the game and not a minute in did this happen)

EDIT: Pics.
DOUBLE EDIT: So the migrants just casually pathed to the fortress. Directly through the camp of wolves. And they scattered away from the dwarven migrants.

PARTING OF THE GREY SEA

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[SixOfSpades]

Yeah, wolves actually mimic their real-life behavior and avoid contact with humans/dwarves. Though I wish the same realism were extended to raccoons, what with their propensity to spend months trying to get inside my fortress so they can steal a stone block.

[Xantalos]

Yeah, wolves actually mimic their real-life behavior and avoid contact with humans/dwarves. Though I wish the same realism were extended to raccoons, what with their propensity to spend months trying to get inside my fortress so they can steal a stone block.

Macho Raccoons, they are.

[Drazinononda]

I had a Macedwarf who suffered nerve damage in one foot and became crutch-bound. I didn't have time to train new militia, so I left him in the squad and figured since he had a season or two until the next ambush, he should be fine.

And fine he was! The next ambush showed up and I sent my troops out to meet them. The crippled Macedwarf was the last one to the battlefield (probably slowed by his good foot slipping on the elf blood that rains from the sky there) but any time a goblin ran past, he dispatched them in short order with a whack or two from his alder crutch. He had more kills with his crutch than most of my soldiers had with proper weapons.

[Scootagoose]

While not exactly a report, I once caused a loyalty cascade while my dwarves were fighting clowns. So basically, my greatest warriors were killing each other while be burnt to death by fireballs.

[GoombaGeek]

could you draw the diety  named "the mahogany turquoise"

I can't concieve of it.

I was building a semi-megaproject, during the construction of which I did not give a shit about my dwarves' well-being. They had no bedrooms or dining hall, only a still and food stockpile next to the wagon. The wildlife on this map was a huge nuisance: tons of giant monkeys and keas constantly stealing things and harassing my dwarves. One of my miners was bitten several times by a giant monkey, breaking his leg. He lay there, three tiles from the constantly-worked still and a few tiles from a pond. Despite his proximity to water and booze, he dehydrated to death after several months, a few meters from where everyone else was drinking and socializing.

The Militia Commander charges at the Peregrine Falcon!
The Militia Commander jabs the Peregrine Falcon in the left foot with his left hand, bruising the skin!
The Militia Commander collides with the Peregrine Falcon!
The Peregrine Falcon is knocked over and tumbles backward!
The Militia Commander makes a face to distract the enemy and then punches the Peregrine Falcon in the chest with his right hand, bruising the muscle, jamming the left true ribs through the right lung and tearing the apart the right lung!


If anything, I'd just like your portrayal of what distracting face he made. A picture of him punching directly into its chest to tear up its lung is good too, as well as the two times during that fight where he punches through the falcon's SKULL to tear up its brain.

Just started a new fortress on a mirthful/haunted embark and saw 'Drake Corpse is no longer enraged!' pop up several times in the announcement log and the associated report just had the same amount of 'The drake Corpse has become enraged' with no fighting.  Out of curiosity I went up to the surface to have a look (I'd walled it off while setting up as there'd been undead right next to the wagon) and found an undead Drake chasing a cavy boar all over the map, I had to laugh.

I'm playing Masterwork where a Drake is a small dragon like lizard thing.

ALTERNATE

I whole-heartedly recommend this movie

[katana]

Drakes are like ducks, you know.

[HiEv]

Drakes are like ducks, you know.

Not in this case.  The person was using a mod.  Note the part where he said, "I'm playing Masterwork where a Drake is a small dragon like lizard thing."

[Loud Whispers]

Good luck with that.