-snip-
WAIT NO DAMNIT.
I forgot to include this. From the wonderful world of Necrothreat:
...
...
That was fast. He took three pieces of golld nuggets and one tetrahedrite.
While asking around the best misc weapon ever somebody suggested containers.
I promptly made a swordsman with experience in misc object and obtained a coffin from my retired fort where she would stuff the bodies of her conquered foes inside. After 4 kills I switched to using the coffin to bludgeon people, and a while later I have some dragons inside. The strike would make the victim fly into things and explode in gore.
I have another tragic story involving the terror that is water.
I was installing a well in my hospital with the large reservoir of water below it. At the time I didn't know about water pressure (the water was coming directly from a river) and assumed it would fill up safely with no problems. A while later while building up my entrance I get the messgage "Urist McFisherdwarf has been missing for 1 week!" After searching the river for him to no avail I decided to check the fortress. As I look I realize something isn't quite right... The whole hospital has been flooded!
I have come to the conclusion that Urist McFisherdwarf noticed the hospital starting to flood and heroically, disregarding his own safety, jumped into the well in order to try seal of the water.
This obviously didn't work with him now stuck in a well with with 7 deep water both below and above him.
I will not forget his sacrifice...
PS. Good work with the drawings!
I realised that my current world is boring when my legendary engraver started making engravings of his own engravings relating to his previous engravings. Of masterwork silk socks, presumably.
AT SCHOOL, NOT EVEN GOING TO TRY
THERE IS NO WAY TO MAKE THIS IMAGE NOT WILDLY SUGGESTIVE
This made me laugh out loud. Am i a horrible person?
warning... Candy spoiler
Posted this earlier, but I guess it somehow got lost in the ether of the net, because it's not showing up anywhere.
I'm up to the fifth year in the hippie dwarf surface fort commune, and I'm up to my ears in weretortoises. I've had one or two visiting every year.
Urist McTortoise sees that my fortress is all nice and secure on the surface, but the river runs through it. Urist McTortoise jumps in the water and starts swimming. Urist McTortoise is all set to swim under the palisade and come out on the fishing pier to chew on the soft delicate center of the fortress. Just as he swims under the palisade, Urist McTortoise transforms back, drowns, and gets swept off the map by the current.
And a second report.
Followed by literally 5 pages of shaking a cow moose by the head:
Finish him!
Oh crap!
And the Cow Moose bled out after the weretortoise transformed back.
Thanks in advance if either report strikes your imagination.
But... tortoises can't swim
Fighting fires with babies sounds about like something a dwarf would do.
Speaking of things to draw involving babies and fire, in one fortress I had a battlemage dwarf in my ranger squad who was very prone to starting fires. This resulted in her somehow starting like 4 different fires at once while chasing buzzards around. So, the juicy bit is; during this ‼period‼, a mother carried her baby into the ‼woods‼ to murder some ‼buzzards‼. Logically, she burned to death. Illogically, the baby did not. Not only did the baby survive being in the dead center of one raging inferno, but on it's way back to the fort it managed to crawl right through three more walls of flames unharmed! It later died of thirst in the dining hall.
This fate was not shared with many other dwarves, including that goddamned battlemage and several other high-value members of the ranger squad. I do not have an excuse for letting that battlemage remain in the militia so long. I suppose that fortress was more of a ‼fortress‼ most of the time anyway, what with pet dragons "helping" the dwarves deal with the buzzard problem in their own special way.
Why babyproof your fireplace when you can fireproof your baby?
First off I just want to say I absolutely love this thread and the effort you put into it, Goomba.
Now, a bit of a lengthy one here if you're up for some reading.
Few forts back, my game had come to sort of a standstill; food and drink was both varied and sustainable, we were constantly cranking out ludicrously valuable trinkets, we had a squad of a legendary hammerdwarves and a sophisticated trap system at the gate. Dwarves mostly just sat around in a nice statue garden all day, and consequently almost everyone was a legendary conversationalist or whatever.
One day a goblin siege pops up, which is nothing out of the ordinary. They get eviscerated by masterwork steel serrated discs as usual, but one of the squads ends up standing still out in a field because their leader was cage trapped. I decided to send out a random peasant to either scare them off or drag them into the traps, but things don't go as planned. The peasant flips out when he sees them and starts running around in circles, whereupon the squad kills him and then flees off the map.
Remember that bit about legendary social skills? Every damn dwarf in the fortress starts going insane, either because of the goblin fodder dying or because they've started beating each other to death as a result of it. I station my hammerdwarves right on the central stair shaft; they aren't affected as much by the madness spiral because they've been training for years rather than partying. Every second or two another dwarf goes berserk and is immediately squashed by the military, but one by one the less skilled of them are bludgeoned to death or succumb to insanity, until there's only one left.
The fort had over 200 dwarves when this started, and when his last squadmate bites the dust there are still 70 left. He kills every single one.
At the end of the gruesome battle the entire fortress is spattered with dwarf guts, limbs, vomit, etc. Standing at the center of this maelstrom of chaos is our lone warrior, at this point a stupendous badass in skill points.
Here's the part I'd love you to draw:
Urist McHammerlord ends up in a square stockpile room with the staircase in the center. He heads for the stairs to get some food, which lies only a single floor up, when suddenly he is stopped short by the sight of some lovecraftian horror lurking in the far corner of the room. Dare I name this terrifying creature?
Stray Duck
After slaughtering endless goblins and a fortressworth of his brethren, our hammerlord is trapped in a room by his fear of a duck. The duck runs for the staircase to escape but is frightened of the hammerlord. The hammerlord runs for the staircase but is frightened of the duck. The room is too small for either of them to get there without noticing the other one, and since the duck is part of my civ I can't tell the dwarf to attack it. He begins starving before finally being battered to death by a ghost.
I love this game.
(Sorry for the wall of text.)
If you ignore the doofy shadow, this probably holds the record for Most Corpses and Most Epic Aftermath (minecart pile-up is second place for corpse count).
So, I decided to clean up the dining hall after the recent chaos. Unfortunately a few dwarves had been buried in the dump shaft, (space limitations, y'know) leading to... Problems.
You strike the peasant with your Bengal pak Nagasaki or whatnot silver coin but the attack passes right through.
Why it's not in my bag I cannot say.
Your character is probably worried about radiation poisoning.
Okay, that was terrible and I'm sorry.
1st Obsidian
-A faxworker mooded.
-Moody dwarf wants bones. Butchered a drake.,
20th Granite
Going deeper!
-Faxworker didn'ät accept the bones even though there were plenty. Went berkerk. (So it begins.,.)
19th Slate
-Dead faxworker's body is stinking up the place. Miansma everywhere. Darn peasant.
Edited for basic coherence. In drunk fortress, a fax worker mooded. He likely meant wax worker, but its fun to imagine. I demand to know what he was making.
I recently encountered a glitch where, upon arriving at my fort, 2 of the 4 (5?) wagons of the dwarvan caravan moved at about mach 1. I'm serious. The caravans were moving at ludicrous speeds, going about 30 tiles or so in about 2 seconds. I fear for the well being of the horses and driver.
Could this be the first time I've bothered to use transparency?! (Yes.)
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Topic: I badly draw your reports! (Read 337115 times)